When we first got together, she was more aggressive and open to oral sex (both of us were). Now, things have cooled in the bedroom. I also want to try to integrate toys into our relationship but I am afraid of what she will say.
2007-09-12 02:03:32 · 13 answers · asked by James H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like you just want to have some fun. Have her go to a "slumber party", those are really fun, plus you get an idea of whats out there for toys and ideas and what not. As for oral, initiate more on her and don't expect in return, show her that you just want to please her... and believe me... she will WANT to do the same! Best thing is to just talk to her, tell her you just want to please her in every way, and then say something like... What do you think about getting a toy for your enjoyment? See how she feels, she may think right now she doesn't want one because it'll hurt your feelings. SO TALK TALK TALK!!
2007-09-12 02:13:16 · answer #1 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first ask your wife why she seems to have changed her sexual desires. That is a good starting point. Let her know that you miss how things were and that you would like to try a few new things. My guess is she may not be aware of the changes in your sex life and may also not be aware of how you feel. Sit her down and discuss the issue. She may be maybe going through some issues that has caused her change in her desires in the bed room. She might be stressed because of stuff unrelated in your marriage or she might have stress from work. She also might have a little bit of depression. I am not sure but most women are not real ambushes in the bed room if there are outside issues. Let her know that you love her and are willing to help her if there is something wrong and then you can suggest some things to spice up the bed room. Don't start out suggesting everything as she might be overwhelmed and become negative about the whole thing. Instead try a few things at a time. I have included a few websites that you might want to suggest that both of you take a look at. Also ask her if she has any fantasy's and that could be a good starting point as well. If she still does not come around then you might need to suggest going to a marriage therapist or a sex therapist (they do exist and are legit). A national directory is included in the websites below. Good Luck and have fun!
2007-09-12 09:24:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two have not been married long.Forget the toys. If she dose not introduce them in the bedroom she probable will not what to play. Have you heard the story. Do you know why a bride walks down the aisle with a big smile on her face? After you say I DO She knows she will never have to DO ORAL AGAIN . My Friend play time is over with. You better get to know Betty and her five sisters and maybe Martha and her five sisters for something strange sex. Get the penthouse and the playboy back out. Pretend that your in your teens. It may be years before you get to play or maybe never. I sure hope I'm wrong. But I have been there done that. I'm sorry
2007-09-12 09:41:46 · answer #3 · answered by tadm 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is she funny go lucky or quiet? I say one night make the moves and put her on top put your hands on either side of her hips and help her up and down. Show you want more force. Shes properly just used to you and to spice things up take her to an adult shop, like Dr. Johns and walk thru it with her, pick things up show her ask what she thinks, if she bolts then maybe shes liking things the way they are, tell her you want more. Take control in the bed room be dominating. If it freaks her out stop. Oral sex-get some fun going on, shave your self then ask for her opinion on it, put her hand down your pants, you get the idea. Good Luck
2007-09-12 09:16:35 · answer #4 · answered by ashley v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Toys are a great addition to the bedroom. Start out slowly with a vibrating massager, use it as such and work your way to other places. Dont force anything. Make sure she is in a relaxed mood, etc. Enjoy !!
2007-09-12 09:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by Kit Kat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we get into slumps my wife and I talk to each other and find out why. usually we realize that it's just the pressures of day to day living which have us in a rut. Bur when we getting to talking and tell each other what we'd like and expect. Things take a turn for the better. But there's a time for talk and then there's a time for action.
2007-09-12 09:20:43 · answer #6 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you have to heat it up in the bedroom without changing anything...
Then once the things are hot you can introduce new methods... otherwise there will be resistance.
So don enforce... cajole....
2007-09-12 10:22:41 · answer #7 · answered by Ash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be easier to get a new wife than have the present one become more open minded
2007-09-12 09:13:50 · answer #8 · answered by WDOUI 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It never hurts to ask... but don't nag. Oh... and remember that men can have toys too... so tell her you'll get one for yourself!
2007-09-16 03:56:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a talk with her. Ask her what she would like to do.
2007-09-12 09:19:27 · answer #10 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋