Ladies-do I give him another chance-AGAIN???

Question

My husband always makes comments about women on TV-nice legs, looks good, nice boobs-you get the picture.
He also does this when we´re riding in the car, and I have told him this is disrespectful, but he continues to do it.
We´re supposed to go on our honeymoon this weekend, and I really don´t want to go-he´ll just oogle over the women there.
What would you do ladies?

Answer 1

I'm gonna share a secret and maybe this is too analytical, but hopefully it may be another way to look at this.

First, I think the guy is being very disrespectful! However, I think why a lot of men do this because they are saying; "This is what I like"....or...."this is what I want you to look like".

On the other hand another side to this coin is; some men just have not matured and they just want 'more'. It's not about love, but more about 'collecting', or 'getting'. It has nothing to do with you if this is his deal per se, but more about his ego, insecurity, feeling important based on how many women he can get or be associated with.

I don't go for this kind of crap myself, but I definitely do get that boos when a women flirts, or pays me compliments. I don't let it go any further than that tho.

Just another way to look at this. He's an idiot for doing it, and he's immature, but maybe some insight might help you deal with it. Try being less available and attentive to him. Don't pay any attention to what he's saying. Or, I guess a better way to say it is, just don't openly let him know it bothers you.

As for your going to the (2nd??) honeymoon. That's up to you. It may cause problems, but he may not be that interested in going anyway if he's the kind of guy I think he is. I sure wouldn't be in the mood to go with someone like that, but good luck either way. I hope things work out for you.

Answer 2

I wouldn't go. He's not going to respect your wishes while you're there and it's going to ruin the trip for you. You have to stop him from doing this and oogling men is not the way. Seriously, I would not go. You can plan a honeymoon weekend later. Even if he promised not to do it this time, I would not go. Until I observed that he had stopped this behavior to my satisfaction, I would not subject myself to his disrespect again. The man is going to look at women, like all men do; but he damn sure doesn't have to disrespect you at the same time. Until he learned to keep his comments to himself, I wouldn't go on a trip anywhere with him. You'll probably go anyway because you're hung up on the honeymoon thing; but you shouldn't. I might add that if he was doing this before you married him, that was a clear sign to leave him alone.

Answer 3

I can definitely see how that would drive you nuts, but at least he's doing it to the tv. Now, when he starts doing it in real life--that is EXTREMELY disrespectful. You've already told him in a calm way why this upsets you and he still hasn't gotten it. Men sometimes need to be shown because they're not as in touch with their emotions. I would start making comments about guys to show him how upsetting it can be...like wow, that guy is so hot, or something like that. I'm not sure if I would do this on your honeymoon weekend, though.

Answer 4

If I understand this correctly, you are with a man who ogles women right in front of you. You were well aware of this and yet you married him anyway. You don't even want to go on your honeymoon because your husband's attention will be on the other women present, and not on you.

Bad move girl. Your husband's behavior is not going to get better over time---it will become worse. I've had the displeasure of knowing a few guys like your husband during my years, and every single one of them ended up cheating on their wives. Get out of this marriage before you start having children.

Answer 5

Another chance - yes.
The same approach - no.
Here are some possibilities:
1. Ask him if he wants a running commentary from you about all the hunky guys that are available for viewing.
2. Ask him if he wants you to dress so that the other guys will get the same ideas about you that he clearly has about these other women.
3. Don't let him out of the bed this weekend - tell him you're still not satisfied. You get the idea.

Answer 6

oh get off yer boat will ya ..Jeebas hes a man and he has eyes and hes gonna look! at least he does it front of you ! not behind your back and hiding it!
if a lady is gona show it im gona look. and yes im gong to say something to my wife about it! but she isnt so stuck on her self that when she does the same thing i hear it from her too!
that is why i now say that football is a womans sport , nothing but guys (A****)butts and elbows! and we have had this going for a long time , and it can be a lot of fun too!
like when she blew the horn at a guy as we drove by and he thought i did it ! hmmm well its funny now !

Answer 7

Did you not ask him why he kept on doing that?
Better not go on a honeymoon like that,,, else, set rules with him that it makes you sick for him to keep on commenting to other women. Or if you want, go on with your honeymoon and do the same thing to him. He needs an addicting dose of his own medicine..

Answer 8

My wife let's me oogle and gawk all I want, however I'm not obvious about it. She also points out good looking women. On vacation she always picks a spot close to hot women on the beach. I do the same for her. We have been together 16 year and are quite confident in our relationship and always respect each other.

Answer 9

This requires not just a mere "hey, you're being disrespectful" comment but as husband and wife, you should take and talk this things seriously.
If he is told how this is greatly hurting you, not just plain being disrespectful, he might realize his mistake.
And another angle is, he mights be "purposedly" making this comments to make you jealous or attract attention... your attention.
With that, GIVE HIM A CHANCE. Hear him out.. :-)

Answer 10

maybe just telling him its disrespectful isn't enough, perhaps you should tell him that it hurts your feelings, and makes you feel unworthy. If that doesn't work, give him a taste of his own medicine next time you see a hot guy!!! I'd go on the trip anyway, try to enjoy myself, and ignore him if he's still oogling the females.