2007-09-11 22:29:23 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If ur babies are small.. NOW IS THE TIME TO GO..
the older they get,,,,,,,,, the harder it is..... and the most damage control is done to them
all children get hurt.. in a divorce.. but most the time they have a better life..
nothing worse than seeing mom and dad fight and be up-happy..
it is unhealthy for them in the long run when it comes time for them to marry..
2007-09-11 22:35:40 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believe that you're correct in feeling deceived. Your husband is alright with moving forward because he's been aware of the real situation all along- he knew how uncertain he was of things. You, however, were unjustly kept in the dark about his misgivings, and are just now being hit with the bomb of learning that everything you've trusted in was being questioned in his heart... It's great that you can say that he's a good man. That means that you've still got a good foundation to build on. He's got to realize that your foundation was shaken by this revelation, though. Jeopardizing your dreams of a family shows an even more sinister reluctance to face the truth. Concerning something so important to you, he should have brought his thoughts into the light so they could be addressed, rather than manipulating circumstances to keep you from getting pregnant and therefore allowing him to continue not to face his doubts about the relationship. I would recommend that you find a counselor that can assist your husband in seeing how damaging this was to you, and give you both some help in how to work out things better as your marriage continues. Marriage is about give and take, continuing to compromise and support one another on your journey together. By hiding his misgivings about your relationship, your husband was doing anything but. Maybe he didn't have the courage to possibly hurt your feelings, maybe he didn't want to cause arguments or fighting and didn't want to 'rock the boat'. Whatever the reason, it wasn't the right thing to do, and your relationship would probably be helped by working out how to prevent this from happening again in the future.
2016-05-17 14:23:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no answer to that question - leaving a marriage will definitely affect them one way or the other. At this point, what is more important to take into consideration is the effect that your bad marriage will have on your babies if you don't get out of it. If your babies will grow up in an unpleasant environment brought about by incessant quarelling between you and your husband, then it will be best for you to get out of that marriage and bring your babies along with you. In that way, you spare them from the agony brought about by the bad marriage.
2007-09-11 22:52:06 · answer #3 · answered by DR. MCVDQ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is a bad marriage?
Physical abuse?
No job in 3 years?
Drug or alcohol addiction?
Infidelity?
Or have you just decided you don't like him any more?
Children deserve two parents. That was the deal when you had them and it is patently unfair to take one away.
You cannot get out of your marriage without hurting them.
It is selfish to divorce unless there is a very compelling reason for splitting up.
And, yes I know all about how this is an unpopular position.
It was true in the past and it still is. Until you have exhausted every attempt to save your marriage you are putting your interest ahead of your children's. That is a sad commentary on your parenting.
2007-09-12 00:23:20 · answer #4 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your hurting your babies by staying in a bad marriage
2007-09-12 00:49:43 · answer #5 · answered by John S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not expaling the situation to me so idont know wht to tell you all your saying is the marriage is bad and how not to hurt your babies, there is no easy way out for you the children will still be hurt. but as long as you give them all the love and support they need they will be okay.\\
best of luck
2007-09-12 16:21:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They will be hurt. You can try to make it as easy as possibly by not arguing in front of them, working together to put them first. But, They will still be hurt on some level. Lots of love and remember how important they are and that they didn't ask for any of this. It can be done.
2007-09-11 22:37:06 · answer #7 · answered by BABYDOLL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are hurting them more bystaying. kids sence whats going on and it effects them. when your not hapy they know it and feel it. they will be better off when you leave and your whole feelings about yourself change.
2007-09-12 03:25:12 · answer #8 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pack up and leave that's how, if your babies are small it will have very minimal impact on them.
2007-09-11 22:39:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
simple answer is, you can't. but depending on your situation it might be wise to minimize the damage already done.
good luck!!
2007-09-12 01:46:19 · answer #10 · answered by singing_wolf13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋