Death, how do you cope?

Question

My grandfather passed away on Monday and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. I last saw him in hospital at the end of last week and he was pretty bad and we were told he may not pull through the weekend but it doesnt feel any easier even though I was kinda expecting it. Any family members that have passed away in my life have all been when I was under 11 yrs old so it had a different effect on me back then

Now I keep getting an overwhelming rush of sadness and my insides feel so heavy that I can hardly breathe then I just breakdown. He was my last grandparent and it feels like then end of an era. Will it get easier after the funeral? How do other people cope with death...

Answer 1

my condolences to you and your family..

like any other losses there would come a time that you pass through a grieving process and it is normal.. at first the people who encountered losses like you do is in denial of what's happening to them at the moment then there is anger putting blame on somebody or something that you think you could have done or you could not have done. then there is a bargaining phase where you wish this sad things did not have to happen and you wish that the person you love should have stayed a little longer.. people tend to be depressed after awhile and then get back to the reality and accept the fact that there's an end to everything..

I can't say that it would be easier after the funeral.. it depends on how you feel.. but I can say that it can be a good start of a life without them "physically' and still live with their memories..

grieving is normal you must pass this grieving process to pull your self together again.. it's ok to be sad.. to cry..

spend your time with your love ones who still here, show them how much you love them and be happy with them..

Answer 2

I am really sorry to hear that. I've lost all of my grandparents and my father, and can understand how you are feeling. However, your grandfather certainly would not have wanted you to be feeling this way. Try and keep focused on positive memories.

When my father died it was a sudden heart attack. I didn't even have the chance to say goodbye. If you are feeling so overwhelmed I suggest you visit your GP who can perhaps give you some medication to help you cope in the shortterm, and remember to talk and share comfort with your other relatives. I wish I had done this as my grief ended up getting even worse six months later. All the best. x

Answer 3

i lost my dad 4 years ago and i still get all the feelings you have now, it`s early days, i deal with death on a daily basis because it`s my job, i can help everyone else but still struggle with my loss, if you ever want a chat msn me, [e-mail] trust me it will get easier but its only a matter of days for you, everyone deals with it in their own way and people will tell you to be strong for your family, yes b a shoulder for your family but grieve for you the worst thing you can do is try and hold your feelings in because at some point it has to come out, i cry at somepoint everyday. i was at work today and cried with a family, it doesn`t make you any less of a person and in my books if anybody passes a remark stuff em , it shows that you are dealing with what is the worst thing you will go through, i`m not talking as a professional now, but i am talking as a guy who fell apart even though every1 was looking to me to deal with everything.
take care , it`s hard but time make you cope better, and only the shell has left you, the heart and memories never leave

Answer 4

Firstly people don't die, they just stop living. The same as when you go to sleep, you don't actually 'do' going to sleep, you just stop staying awake. Your Grandfather was ill and that obviously was not very comfortable for him, it may even have been horrible to endure, so he is now released from that suffering.
Life does not end, it's just the body the life occupied that fails. His life still exists and where he's gone we will all go and maybe meet up again.
Life is not a physical thing so it can't be destroyed. As for your grandfather, be happy for the time you spent together.
If you are religious, you can be comforted by the belief that he has gone somewhere better.
I hope this helps.

Answer 5

There is no right answer to this question as everyone deals with the loss of a loved one in different ways. Time is the only thing that will make this easier. For now my advice would be busy yourself as much as possible and surround yourself with your friends and family.

Answer 6

Don't worry sweetheart it will get easier after the funeral. Death is a very hard thing to deal with. The funeral will be really difficult but I promise it will get much easier. Speak to someone close to you and tell them how you are feeling. Please don't keep your feelings inside it is so much better to let them out. Take care xx

Answer 7

Baby girl ..i know how it feels..i;Ive been through the same situation but even worse. This is life!! we cant do anything about it. Everybody has to go one day..its just how god made us to be. So instead of feeling sad, smile for all those happy memories and I'm sure your grandfather's spirit will appreciate it more. Its okay to cry because you are going to miss him but remember we all are going to die one day too. God will defiantly reunite us with our loved ones. Just pray that your grandfather is resting peacefully. I hope i helped you...take care and smile for him.

Answer 8

My father was shot in a mall parking lot in broad daylight back in july of this year, the sadness is still there but there is also the anger. They caught the guy but thats really not enough for me. He has yet to stand trial. I talk to my friends when im upset and that usually helps, somtimes i talk to my family but i try not to bring that up because it just makes my mother and sister cry.

Answer 9

the two are difficult of their own strategies. observing a particular one die progressively and slowly is truly painful for an prolonged time. it truly is greater painful for the guy and others to be interior the death mattress or some terminal ailment devoid of desire. it truly is devastating previous words. yet whilst it actual occurs you're emotional exhausted and your grieving is already executed,so which you progression on. whilst a particular one dies abruptly and by ability of surprise it truly is a ask your self and catches us off shield and it could supply us lots greater grief. this is totally no longer person-friendly on kinfolk who're based economically. yet you have a tendency to pass on after it sluggish so in that sense it truly is far less prolonged anguish.

Answer 10

My father passed away 4 years ago I thought I was good daughter but all of sudden all bad things that I did CAME TO MY MIND and I was crying I couldn't sleep but time pass by live still go and it is better but sometimes it is still real hard than I take my mother and we go to cemetery to visit my dad.It will be better after time and I THINK YOU WERE VERY GOOD GRANDDAUGHTER. Sorry for your loss.