When we got married 20 years ago, I had a house with a mortgage of £17,000 and 2 sons from previous marriage, he was single and had nothing but a degree in his pocket. He worked part time for years whilst he furthered his education and we hosted students in our house. I had a full time job and other book-keeping jobs plus looked after our daughter and the home/students, but he did his fair share too.
We then purchased a house together and rented out my house. We paid off the mortgage on it. For 10 years he had half of the rents from this house. Today he has a good job and earns lots of money. He said that the fact that I never offered to put his name on my other house is a sign that I don't love him and is very upset that I want to leave the house to my children when I die. The one we have together goes to him when I die. He asked me to give him £15,000 because he helped pay off the mortgage which I did but resented doing. He says my attitude drove him to have an affair.
2007-09-11 22:03:13 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OO, PLZ
WELL, i was gonna say..
leave the house to the kids.. but when I read he had an affair on u..
then i knew I was right.. and it is the right thing to do..
for that is just an excuse, and he is blaming u, rather taking responsibility for his problem..
2007-09-11 22:10:11 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can't believe what i just read your husband is a very cheap insensitive man. Don't you dare give that horrible man another penny of your money. You let that man work a part time job for years so he could better his education. The female he had an affair with was she a student or a co-worker. Sounds to me like you been more then patient and a good wife to a greedy selfish insensitive man. For a man that has a good education he sure is stupid isn't he. Your sons should have your first home why should he have a problem with that unless he is jealous of them that would be the only reason he would have for feeling the way he does.Sounds like your husband has put you through a lot of heart ache. Isn't it amusing how our husbands do wrong and turn it around and blame us for their bad behavior. The home you have together now if i were you i would leave my half to all my kids that would get him where it hurts the most his pockets,and that could be your way of paying him back for having the affair. Your husbands actions toward you where very disrespectful to you and your kids and your marriage.
2007-09-11 22:49:16 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, your husband is being very selfish. He actually asked you to pay him back for the mortgage he paid towards the house because you decided to leave it to your children? I'm sorry but that is just not right! I can't believe he is actually trying to blame you for his mistakes. He cheated because he was too weak to be faithful. He just needs to face it, that is not any fault of yours. He had a choice and chose the wrong thing. Don't change your will. This guy just wants everything! Your children should have someplace to remind them of their mother, at least you left him the other house. I wouldn't worry too much about him, but I would not have given him a dime of that $15,000! That was his duty as a husband to help you in whatever way possible. You don't owe him anything!
2007-09-11 23:20:01 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like the two of you have a lot of resentments. You should go to counseling because the issue here isn't the house, it's that you resent giving him money and he resents not being on the title.
After 20 years I'd think you'd have more of an equal partnership in your marriage.
2007-09-11 22:11:06 · answer #4 · answered by ddd 874 587 545 543 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really amazes me the stories people will come up with to justify their affairs. What a cheapskate he is and it does not surprise me how low they will stoop to get their way.
Don't feel like it is your fault for his shortcomings and no you are definitely not wrong in leaving the house to the children as a matter of fact you should leave your share of the house purchased by the two of you to the children as well.
2007-09-11 22:18:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, what a pity he never discussed it with you before he had the affair.
This is always going to come between the two of you. Your children from your first husband are important - why should they feel rejected. Stick to your guns, but be prepared for your relationship to get worse.
2007-09-11 22:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
he just wanted to make you think that it was your fault that drive him away, but the fact that he wants both of the house and the money means that he is only after the money that you have, if you still think that he still love you, its your life, do what ever you want, but I am sure that he think you are not good enough for him and he wants you out of his life, probably for a long time already.
by the way, the blame game is for making you let go of the money easier
2007-09-11 22:16:55 · answer #7 · answered by lap H 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes leave the house to your sons, he is trying to justify his behavior by laying blame at your feet. the house was yours from the start, if there is no legal documentation to proof his contribution he has no leg to stand on.
Don't let him make you feel guilt for his affair.
2007-09-11 22:15:29 · answer #8 · answered by Jo Joey Jo 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
SOUNDS LIKE HE IS VERY IMMATURE AND GREEDY
IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE YOUR HOME TO YOUR CHILDREN YOU DO IT SO WHAT IF HE GETS UPSET AND AS FOR YOU DONT LOVE HIM BECAUSE YOU NEVER PUT HIS NAME ON THE OTHER HOUSE SHOWS ME THAT HE IS TRYING TO MANIPULATE YOU STAND UP FOR YOUR SELFAND BLAMING YOU FOR THE AFFAIR THAT BULL ****
2007-09-11 22:19:13 · answer #9 · answered by molly mallise 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
he is trying to rub off his guilt on you, by making you realise what you did was wrong he is justifying his own wrong doing.....what you want to do is correct and what he did was completely wrong
2007-09-11 22:34:00 · answer #10 · answered by charlie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋