I am married t o a guy I've been with for 7 yrs married for 3.I thought I loved him enough to marry him but maybe not.He has always been a lier but he has always taken care of me and our 4 children 2 of which are not his.Aout 2 years ago I caught him doing inappropriate things to my teenage neices they never complained because they are very nasty girls.He said he would never do it again but when they come around he avoids me and them and he did come close to one of them again after he was so called saved.He is very secretive and has since started to treat my kids bad,my 11 yr old is a very pretty girl big for her age I am afraid that he will one day touch her.I am a christian and I hate to just leave my husband but i need to think of my kidsOther christians say stay worldly pple say leave .I dont love him and we daont have sex but I guess I'm just afraid to be alone with the children.Help!
2007-09-11 20:40:05 · 15 answers · asked by Lynboges 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's a shame what we women will put up with just to be taken care of. We look the other way when we know something isn't right all for the sake of not being alone and being taken care of. Women are brain washed into thinking we need a man in order to survive.Your kids should be your first priority stop thinking of yourself and think only of your kids. How would you live with yourself if he were to molest one of your kids. Make no mistake it will happen because he is a sexual predator and he won't stop until someone stops him. If you are not having sex he is definitely getting it from someone and that someone could already be your daughter sorry to say. I was 5 years old when my brother started fooling around with me, don't think your daughter is to young to be messed with.The younger the better for the predator because it's easier to scare them into doing something and you would never know it is happening because he has her so scared to tell anyone. I was hurt as a little girl and i have been dealing with it all my life. I don't trust men at all i have been married 3 times and lets just say sex is still a dirty word to me. Don't let your daughter go through the pain i have suffered over the years please get your kids away before it's to late.
2007-09-11 21:26:07 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In all honestly from another Christian, I think the man upstairs would prefer you run like the Dickens to save your children. Your husband is a sicko. I promise you he has already noticed your daughter, scary huh? He's already made headway with your nieces so he has some insight into seducing young girls, nasty girls or not it's totally in him. How would you explain to your daughter you knew he might do something to her but loved -him- (or feared the wrath of God)too much to leave? Would she understand why it was her innocence that was hung in the balance? You have leverage with your knowledge of his teenage tryst, so get outta there.
"I thought I loved him enough to marry him but maybe not". No maybe, lady. RunRunRun!! Go! What are you still doing here?
2007-09-11 21:12:53 · answer #2 · answered by planetdkw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-05 11:13:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a Christian.
I do not advocate divorce, but even the Bible says infidelity is grounds for divorce. The inappropriate acts with the nieces would be infidelity.
I would exhaust other options such as counseling with clergy or a Christian counselor first, but if you still aren't comfortable with him around children you may have to do the difficult thing and leave the marriage.
I am glad he was saved, but this is a temptation that he needs to overcome and get a handle on.
I will pray for you right now.
2007-09-11 20:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey mam listen to this, if it was anything else I would consider telling you counseling but this nasty behavior of his is not going to be help by any counselor, what you need to do is get your kids away from this child molester, he is dangerous, this people sometimes click because they have held it in for so long and your beautiful daugther is the target.. the hell with the nasty nieces even if they were nasty if they are minors is not their fault is his for being sick in the head do not tolerate this, if something happens to your child your going to blame your self for ever, you only you would have to live with the guilt you had all the signs and your heart in the right place but you didn't leave and your daugther got molested, let me tell you something me and my husband got permanent custody of his daugther why? because her mother didn't believe that her husband was molesting her child, she some how believe her but she didn't do anything to stop him or protect her child you can loose your kids over this.. get out now stop thinking about it... get out now.. for your children sake.. good luck.
2007-09-12 01:22:06 · answer #5 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not be able to stay with someone who I had caught in the act of infidelity first off, regardless of the age of the girl. The fact that they were family and underage makes it 25, 000 times worse. If you fear for your child, that's the dealbreaker right there.
you've answered your own question because you don't trust him and you don't love him.
You and your children need some counseling to help you deal with this terrible situation. And if you really are a christian, God will help you through this ordeal. He does not want you to be with a man who does not love you and who abuses children.
2007-09-11 20:47:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not being honest with your christian friends. Because if you did tell your christian friends that he has been sexually abusing children, there would be NO WAY that they would tell you to remain in this marriage and expose your innocent children to being sexually abused. Molesting children is a crime!!! Your husband could easily go to jail. So, what you need to first do, is be TOTALLY honest with your Christian friends. You need to remove yourself and your children from that environment and do not return unless your husband has proved to you that he's been in therapy. I need to tell you that the outcome is very poor for this type of behavior.
2007-09-12 04:39:39 · answer #7 · answered by Sondra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should pray because no one will give you a better answer then god will,And if you really feel strongly about leaving you can move away or ask him to leave while you and him go to counseling I think it's very important that you talk to someone about all of your concerns because were here to protect our children and if you think that someone is going to harm them you should get them away from that person no matter who it is. Jesus loves you and your children and he knows whats best for you just ask and you shall receive
2007-09-11 21:24:11 · answer #8 · answered by Castro 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is where love becomes blind. You as a mother has to step up to protect your kids from any sexual predetors. Communicate with your husband and push for the truth. Let him explain his roles and conduct and say assertively about the condition he will find himself if he violate any of your kids and if he is not happy with the marriage, please honourable bear the lose of a husband and move on with your kids away from this man. Explain to your kids what this man is capable of doing so that your kids would be aware of.
2007-09-11 21:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. Have you gone for a Professional Help?
In the name of the kids, are different. When battered kids grew up, they would be not able to process child's hurts properly. I have been working in the mental institution and rehabilitation center and most cases came from family problems. do something for your kids. Also, pray. Its really a big help.
2007-09-11 20:46:32 · answer #10 · answered by irene 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋