we have a couple that have been our best friends for years, we're all married. my best freinds wife started to wear reliving tops with no bra. she has great boobs so I can understand that she is confident but.. when we all hang out together you get a eye full, not just a little bit I mean the whole rack nipple and all! to be honest it makes me really uncomfortable.I try not to look but when its right in front of your face its pretty hard not to. I mean its my best friends wife! I thought about approaching her. but I didn't know how to approach it ,what do I say "hey nice breast how about covering them up thanks.. " so instead I spoke to my best friend telling him the truth about how I felt about the whole situation. did I handle it correctly or should I off just spoke to her? I found out they han a huge fight over it, that was so not my intention.
2007-09-11 19:28:15 · 30 answers · asked by Cooter 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Even b4 I reached the conclusion of your question, I was thinking to myself, "I hope he didn't approach the woman himself". If you told your friend, that was a good decision, in my opinion. Another option would have been to maybe have your wife say something to her, woman to woman, but I can understand that you may not want to tell your wife that you are noticing another woman's chest. But, if it is out there like you describe, I guess it's obvious.
Also, it's not your fault that htey had that fight. Revealing or see-thru clothing are not attractive on a woman, especially a married woman. While men are attracted to a nice figure, I know most men say they like the element of mystery and modesty.
But anyway, I think you handled it well.
2007-09-11 19:34:52 · answer #1 · answered by florita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing to do in an awkward situation is to draw attention to the subject at hand and say something that is neither here nor there but everyone will understand. I'm sure you're not the only one noticing that they are getting an eye full of nipple.
Example: (Lady's shirt plunges down and you see a little more than you want to)
" Oh god (person's name) your top just fell you might want to secure it a little tighter so it doesn't happen again, oh I hope your not embarassed." (Throw in a little extra: cover your eyes when it happens giving a clear indication that you don't like what you're seeing)
In that one sentence you revealed to that person that you are seeing to much. That her shirt is to loose and that the whole situation is kind of awkward and that you would prefer if it didn't happen again.
Also for your wife to have said it would have been a better approach. Two women can talk about their outfits with one another with out being anyone getting offended but since you did the talking in this situation now all four of you are involved when it could have been two. And that's why it's sticky.
Moral of the story: Next time anything happens that you think you need to call attention to and it has to do with another woman, let your wife handle it.
2007-09-12 02:44:34 · answer #2 · answered by Ollie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There fight was not your fault. If you noticed and were bothered by this, chances are he did too. Their fight was probably brought on by the issue at hand and not your honest input. Women are more fragile then men so it was most likely best that you confronted your friend first. It may have actually made the situation lighter than if you would have spoke to her first. Now it is their problem and they can come to a solution on their own. He probably took it better coming from you than if some random person off the street would have said something. I think you did the right thing.
2007-09-12 02:35:03 · answer #3 · answered by jobrown_84 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you may not want to hear this but you were wrong. You were in a position where you could not control yourself and that is why you were uncomfortable. You can't tell people to dress a certain way just so you can be comfortable. Her husband evidently had no issues with it because he could have told her himself without your help. You could have excused yourself for the evening to avoid the awkwardness of what you described as great boobs or nice breast. You owe them an apology. It is not her fault that you could not control your eyes. You spoke of her like she was a bimbo. I don't think that assumption was fair.
2007-09-12 03:35:27 · answer #4 · answered by flirty30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. Speaking to your BF was correct. Cuz if you woulda spoke to the wife, she coulda have taken it in a disrespectful way.... but to be honest thats a weird situation cuz i'm pretty sure your friend knew his wife was leaving the house lookin like that. Its fishy, u kno. Maybe thats a problem he always haves with his wife, showing to much body parts. Thats probably why they fought. Dont feel bad about the fight. Its not you, they had an issue before you.
2007-09-12 02:38:25 · answer #5 · answered by SB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad at all, you did the right thing by approaching your friend instead of his wife. You're right that is not appropriate, if she wants to go around without a bra she should invest in some petals to cover up her nipples.
2007-09-12 02:49:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any woman, young or old, who wears such revealing tops is wanting attention so I'm sure she was upset when she knew the attention had not been positive. A lady will not parade her goods for the world to see. I think her husband should have spoken up about how inappropriate she was without someone having to mention it to him.
2007-09-12 02:36:38 · answer #7 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Might have been better to get your wife to subtly mention it to her, woman to woman. But nevermind, you were just being honest about the situation. Her husband had probably also already noticed and that was probably a fight that was already boiling. Sounds like you just instigated it a little. I wouldn't worry, they shouldn't be mad at you.
2007-09-12 02:31:58 · answer #8 · answered by Molly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No i think speaking to your friend was a great idea..had you spoke to her she might have been offended by it. Or as my husband always says about women that they tend to exaggerate, so she might have made her husband think you said one thing when you meant another...did i make sense or just confuse the hell outta you lol. Either was i think in a sitiuation like that it's more respectful to talk to ones significant other, just to keep problems from arising.
2007-09-12 02:32:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah u did the right thing i guess, it surprises me that something as natural and beautiful as a breast would ruffle some feathers in here. i know myself it would have been different had it been me, i think i'd have just kept looking and i don't even want to think what i would have said. u say they were great boobs too? mmmmmm
2007-09-12 06:52:48 · answer #10 · answered by robert d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋