Does this make me a bad mother?

Question

I havent spoke to my childs father in almost a year. He left me when I was preggers to go do drugs and party. I tried to maintain a civil relationship with him after the baby but he continued to threaten me and put our child in danger. It ended in I have full custody and he couldnt do anything even with the cops. He filed a suit against me to get custody but I retained a good lawyer and he cant afford to procced so I assume. He is really a bad person, am I bad that I dont presue this?I do want my child not to have a father but he is a bad person. I really can afford it on my own

Answer 1

Until the time comes when he gets clean and sober and is able to be a good father I think you are protecting your child. I went through the same thing with my son and I explained to him that dad is sick. You should be as honest with him as is appropriate for his age and avoid saying anything against his father that he may interfere with their relationship later should dad decide to get his life together. I have seen people do that to their children and the children wind up resenting them for it later. Perhaps supervised visits could be an option????
Please keep in mind that regardless of whether you can afford it or not, child support is a dads obligation and a child's right.

Answer 2

No, your first duty is to your child. I think you already know the answer. You know this man better than we do.

Your child does not need a parent who is abusive and an addict. You have no responsibility to be with him. He walked out. He choose a lifestyle that is not healthy for a child. He maybe the biological child, but he has a way to go to be a Father. You have every right to demand that he clean up his act before he can be trusted to care for a child.

For your child's sake, it's best that you not degrade him. But, be honest with your child, simple and factual. No anger.

Someday, your child may want to know more about him. Maybe you can arrange to have supervised visits in a safe place outside your home. RIght now, your child's safety comes first, long before his rights to play the occasional baby's daddy.

Is he pushing you with the custody threats to try to get you to back off any child support demands? If he wants and you can afford it, let him sign over his parental rights if that's what he wants. He might be more concerned about the money.

Glad to here you got wise and got away from this man if he is as messed up as you say. You cannot be responsible for his life, he is a grown man making his own choices.

Answer 3

Every child has the right to see their father, but only if the father can prove that he is off drugs or is seeking counseling and has better himself. He must be clean. Only the courts can decide what is best for the child.

You did the right thing by protecting your child from someone like that. No, you are not a bad mother. You did the right thing.

Answer 4

you chose your baby dad not you child so why should he have to suffer because of the decision you made. maybe you should try supervised visits. or couple of hrs of visitation on certain days. it not fair to this child that he cant see his father. if the father is a danger to himself and the child than by all means dont allow him to see the child alone. but who knows the relationship that he doesnt have with the child could be why he is not together. dad having a relationship could make him get his self together. you cant teach a boy how to be a man and a daughter will for ever long for the love of her dad. which could be a bad thing. check you motives are they in the best interest of the child or is it mom cant stain dad now and his life style. GodBless

Answer 5

Don't be tempted by magical thinking. Do what you can to keep this man away and strive to meet someone who is honorable and who will make a good father.

I do want to point out that when you don't protect yourself from getting pregnant while sleeping with "bad" men, you wind up in this kind of situation. Don't do it again.

Answer 6

this is as much as you the way you strengthen your infant. What ever your intestine tells you,then do it. a bad mom is somebody who would not feed their teenagers,somebody who beats their teenagers,somebody who would not care. a sturdy mom is somebody who loves their teenagers,who cares approximately them,who makes effective they have each and everything they choose MOMMY TO ANGELBABY: So if somebody won't be in a position to have the money for kind new stuff for his or her infant and use stuff from different those it fairly remains in sturdy shape they are undesirable mothers? If a mom has to pass to artwork to assist her relatives and make effective her relatives has what they choose,they seem to be a bad mom? If a mom has to apply WIC or foodstamps,through fact she would be in a position to't have the money for to no longer,they seem to be a bad mom??in case you're making effective your infant is fed,you're a bad mom? as long through fact the youngster isn't hungry then what's the deal? in case you feed your infant in public you're a bad mom?? so which you choose the youngster to pass hungry? If a mom takes her infant in public till now he/she is six weeks she's a bad mom? So the mummy is think to hire a sitter for 5 minutes jointly as you get diapers? you're a bad mom in case you enable your infant cry for a couple of minutes? this is sturdy to enable them to,through fact it facilitates their lungs. you're a bad mom in case you feed infant solids decrease than 6 months? healthcare expert reccomends it at 4months.i won't be in a position to belive you actual suggested that. you think of you're a proper mom do no longer you? information flash darlin' there are not any proper mothers yet they are are sturdy ones

Answer 7

Protecting your child does not make you a bad mother. If you truely believe he could harm your child then you are doing the right thing. In my opinion as long as you are trying to keep your child and yourself safe and you're not doing this to be spiteful and a b*tch then you shouldn't fee bad....Good Luck

Answer 8

You have to do what's best for the child and right now his father is best left alone.

Maybe when your son is older you can explain about his father and let him decide if he wants to have a relationship with him.

Answer 9

thats not a bad mother.. being a good mother is one that would protect her child from harm.. and if the courts agreed with you then that shows you that hes not a good father..

Answer 10

No, you are not a bad mother. You are just trying to protect your daughter. You might try supervised visitation. She will want to know her dad.