My daughter is being outcasted at her new school in new small town. How can I help??

Question

We've recently moved to a new, much smaller city so that my husband can complete his Bachelor's Degree. The city's population is predominantly Caucasian & Christian. We are African Americans of the Islamic faith.
My daughter is a very social girl (pre-teen). She's made many friends in our neighborhood, but not at school (she's in middle school & the children in our neighborhood are either in elementary or in high school--so none of her schoolmates are neighbors of ours).
Being a small town, everyone seems to know everyone and cliques have long been formed. My daughter is being left out. She tries & tries, with no avail, to make friends. She's never had this problem before. She's a SWEETHEART & everyone always LOVES HER!! Honestly, she's TOO nice--the people pleaser type.
The only time they let her with them is when they wish to be cruel. They make her the butt of every joke & they cheat to make her lose & they mock her & completely ignore her when she speaks to them! How can I help

She ends up quitting & "takes a walk" so they won't see her cry. Now they won't let her play at all. This has happened a few times already & it's just the 5th day of school! She cries every day as she walks alone (she doesn't let them see her cry). And she fights back tears on the bus & during breakfast because no one will sit with her. Please, any advice would be wonderful. How can I help her?

Also, she gets dirty looks & stares al the time. She really wants to be accepted. She's always been that way. I wish it wasn't so. If it were me, I'd ignore 'em and go about my business. But then again, I'm the rare type who can easily enjoy her own company if it were to come down to that.

Answer 1

Certainly is a sad situation but trust me when I say that things will only get worse for her if you stick your nose in. School year has just begun and reality is that soon enough these kids who are being so mean will eventually come to accept your daughter for who she is. Your right that small towns are sometimes not as accepting of people that are different from what they are used to and it takes a while to warm up to differences. Fact is that you practice Islam and there are many prejudices of this religion at present also, once again your family will be responsible for dispelling these myths and have to have tough skin for a while. If your daughter enjoys sports, plays any instruments or has other special interests or talents then maybe you can enrol her with kids that have like minded interests. Not only will she meet new and exciting friends but she may actually end up participating with one or two people from her school, they could get to know her a lot better and then tell the other peers at school that this kid is pretty cool and to give her a chance. Best of luck to your daughter and your family in overcoming this dilemna.

Answer 2

Awww, that's so sad. Maybe if she had a little party at the house and invited some of the kids from school, along with some of the neighborhood kids. Kids can just be so cruel at times.