Is there anyway to legally not let my husband see our daughter?

Question

I recently found out that my husband is using drugs. I left him because of this. I told him that he is not allowed to see our daughter until he gets a lawyer and the courts say I have to. They cant order me to let him see her if he is on drugs anyway (right???) I do not want my daugher (she is 2) around a drug user. I know that he can not legally come take her from me but what about when she is at my mothers house? I work and am in college and my mother watches her for me. I can not afford to work less (especially now) and want to continue my education so I wont have to worry about "getting by". At the same time I do not want to have to worry about him taking her from my mothers house. I am also 6 months pregant and do not have money for a divorce or any kind of legal work. He also basically emptied my/our bank account (without me knowing). WHAT SHOULD I DO????

ofcourse he is the father of both of my children. I have been with him 7 years (faithfully)

When I "picked" this man he was not doing drugs. He also knew how I felt about drugs, and at one point he felt the same way. Additionally, had I known 7 years ago that he was going to do this I might have thought twice. I must have misplaced my crystal ball that day. He has however provided me with the most perfect daughter and I do feel blessed in that aspect. No one else could have given me her.

Answer 1

First let me tell you I am very familiar with this kind of situation,but I wont go into all that right now...but Im gonna tell you exactly what to do... step by step and you must do this in order as follows..First,call social services...they will start an investigation on this immediately,and this will be the reason you tell the courts you stopped visitation, Second, Tell your mother to go to the courthouse and file a restraint order against him because of his drug use she is afraid what he is capable of and if he shows up at her house,she will call the police and they will arrest him on violation of restraint, Third..File a motion in court for your babys father to have a suprise drug test and tell them that you will not let your daughter be in the care of someone that can have "clouded"judgement.Your baby is too little to care for herself if anything happens. FOURTH...call the police anonymously and tell them of his drug use and that he is buying from someone, THIS will put everything into motion..This WILL work and protect your baby.I myself have a 20 month old daughter and Im not in the same position as you,but I can imagine your fears..OMG I can imagine how scared you are for her..good luck, youre in my prayers tonight, believe me..and your baby.

Answer 2

first off, until you have the baby, you cannot get a divorce...you can start proceedings, but nothing can be finalized until after you give birth.

secondly, and I'm not trying to be an advocate for the dad, but are you sure that you want to get a divorce from the man that you have had two children with, or do you want to try to HELP him get clean so that you can both have the life together with your family that you have been planning since you have been together? I know that alot of times, emotions run high and people get scared and think that divorce is the only answer. The only thing that may save him from himself at this point is knowing that unless he cleans up that he will lose his family, and he will need your support in order to get himself back to where he used to be.

If he is abusive that is a different issue, but you did not say that he was, only that he was using drugs and spent all your money. If he is harming you or your child I would tell you to get out now and not look back.

If you are not willing to help him get clean and back on the right path, then you will need to hire an attorney. Legal aid is available to some, but most times there is a long waiting list and you will have to meet stringent financial requirements in order to receive that help. Although you are pregnant and cannot divorce at this time, your attorney can help establish child support and spousal support (if available) and awarding temporary custody. Right now, without any court order, he is just as entitled to take the child as you are to keep her. So, it will be in your best interest to seek legal representation immediately.

Answer 3

Ok....he CAN take her. He is her father and if you are married there would be no legal paper stating you have sole custody. He could come to your house right now and pick her up if he wanted. If you want this taken care of you must PROVE he's a druggy. I would go talk to the cops and explain it to them. I get he's your husband and the father of your 2 children, but if you are REALLY worried he may harm your child or put her in harms way you need to put a stop to it now. If the account he emptied was a joint account there's nothing you can do. Legally it's just as much his as it is yours and he dosen't have to have your permission to make withdrawls. You can't afford "any kind of legal work" but going to the police department is free. If worse comes to worse try a shelter for women and children. Good Luck but remember he CAN take her right now from your house, your mother, daycare where ever he wants she's his child too.

Answer 4

You need to talk to legal aid and now. He has the legal right to pick up your daughter from your mothers and take her anywhere he wants. He is her father and your legal husband. You need to at least get a legal separation with custody spelled out. If you feel he is a danger because of the drugs he is doing you have a good chance of his visitation being supervised so he wouldn't be able to be with her along.

Answer 5

You need to go to your local courthouse and get a restraining order IMMEDIATELY!! There are many women's advocacy groups that will assist you - many that work right out of the courthouse. You present yourself before a judge, you explain why you are in fear for yourself, your child, your family.
Also - there are so MANY legal services that will assist you in this situation. Please do not feel you have no power because he emptied the bank account. Department of family welfare and service has advocates that can steer you towards all kinds of free assistance. You do not have to be a victim. Just don't fall into the vicious cycle that most do - where they practically give up and fall into the "whoa is me - I have no choice but to take this" You don't! There is so much out there now to help women in you position. Please get the help your and your children DESERVE!

Answer 6

No one should be offering you anything close to legal advice in this forum. I think it's against the law to do that.......Go to a lawyer and ask for an initial free consultation.... Tell him/her.... I am only wondering what would happen if your mother did the normal thing and called the police when "ANY known drugger" (relative or non-relative) attemps to take any 2 year old from a safe enviorment in to a unknown situation?...... I am also only wondering if the lawyer would help you write a signed statement about what you expect her to do in such a situation and why? ..... I am wondering if that would help her out if push came to shove ..... I wonder if an interveneing police officer would read such a document????

Answer 7

take his sorry as$ to court. get custody and you can actually do the divorce paperwork yourself (my mom did) go to your local library they have all sorts of paperwork there for everything from divorce to getting your name changed. the idea of getting a restraining order is a good one but make sure that it covers not only you but your daughter because trust me that is a loophole big enough to drive a truck through and if one can be found a determined person, addict or not, will find that loophole. cover you bases and take it to the authorities first. find a narcotics cop and talk to them you'll get the best results ad far as keeping him away from you and your daughter until you can get all the paperwork together to file for divorce and sole-custody of both your children and make sure you file for custody of your unborn child as well because otherwise you have to go through the whole process again in a handful of months. once you have sole-custody if you are feeling kindhearted and he has made it through rehab you can arrange for visitation but please do yourself a favor and make it supervised visitation because there is a chance if he is vindictive that he'll pick your children up for his scheduled visit and not return them then you have the fun task of tracking him down and convincing the local law enforcement that you are the children's sole legal guardian and that he doesn't have custody.

Answer 8

If he is the fathere of both of your children you took some chance on having these children, you do not want him to take your daugher from your mothers home well go to court and explain the situation to them .
Maybe they can help you solve your problem but you picked this man.

best of luck

Answer 9

Tell your mom not to let him in the house. There are legal aid offices that can help you. Look in the phone book. You're going to need proof. They are not going to just take your word that he is using drugs. Start the paperwork to get custody of your daughter.

Answer 10

Talk to his family about getting him help, and get a lawyer through legal aid.