My husband works so much that some days I don't see him at all.. he's such a hard working man and I love him for that but I miss him. we never have time together it just sucks! I've said a few things to him . like I told him I missed him but he doesn't say anything back... so here it goes I've been having dreams about different men, in my dreams we're kissing and all and I love having these dreams.. pretty sad huh?? I don't get much action from my husband so I'm relying on my dreams? this is not normal.. any suggestions ??
2007-09-11 16:22:59 · 16 answers · asked by sue s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i guess i should let every one know i dont work. he doesnt want me to work. my little guy is going back to school next week so i'm starting school in two weeks. hes not to happy about that either but i have to look after myself. my father doesnt want me to rely on a man.. i agree with him so thats why i'm trying to do something... keep myself busy.
2007-09-12 15:00:51 · update #1
There are more important things in life than money and work. Your spouse and children are one of the most precious things that we can have, and we need to remember that.
2007-09-11 16:27:13 · answer #1 · answered by Shayna 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Hey girl! I know exactly what you're going through! It seems like you told him you miss him in passing. Plus, he probably didn't know what to say because he feels obligated to work. By the way, it is sooo normal the dreams you've been having. Anyways, have a serious talk, but don't make him defensive. Just tell him how you feel lonely all the time. See if you 2 can make a goal to have a date once a week, even if it's not the same night every week. Also I would suggest doing something to occupy your time. Get involved in something. I started a kick-boxing class, I've made new friends and am getting into shape! Also when he is working late you could e-mail him. One thing my husband and I do is text message eachother throughout the day--it helps us to feel connected. I hope it works out!
2007-09-11 23:44:03 · answer #2 · answered by im sure 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sue if talking openly and honestly with your husband is not getting the desired reponses then perhaps it is time for you both to seek out the help of a professional marriage or relationship counsellor. As for daydreaming and fantasing about other men this can at times be very normal but can also be dangerous when it takes over reality. Fact is that you sound like your still very much in love with the man that you married. Perhaps he is a workaholic, as you didn't explain this very well but regardless of reason why you are not spending enough valuable time together it needs to be remedied. Read an article not that long ago that questioned elderly couples on their longevity and success in their relationship. They all responded the same and said even after 40 or 50 years of being together that they were still each others best friends and that they always said what was on their minds. Regardless of whether the other person may have been hurt by this or not, not to be abusive or anything but to just be honest. Also read in same article that there are only 4 reasons for a marriage not to be able to work out and resolve issues. These 4 issues were called the 4 A's. Abuse, Addiction, Adultry and sorry I have forgotten the 4th A at the present were only reasons cited for a marriage not to be able to be worked on and things ironed out. Best of luck and hopefully you and your partner will be one of them couples that are interviewed and asked after 40 or 50 years what the secret to your successful marriage has been.
2007-09-11 23:37:26 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I know how you feel, my husband also works a lot and between working and three children there is almost not even a minute each day we spent together. My suggestion is to make a date, set it up, schedule it with him and just to it, make it for tomorrow or someday this week where you just go and do the things you two like to do together, grab a bite to eat, or go window shopping, anything to get you out of the house and focused on one another. Give a try, you may be surprised!
2007-09-11 23:29:01 · answer #4 · answered by bestadviceever 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to sit your husband down and tell him EXACTLY how you feel. Also be prepared to offer some kind of compromise. Do you work? If not are you willing to get a job to take some of the load off of him? You can't simply complain to him but not have a solution handy. I'm sure if he had a choice he wouldn't be working all the time.
Further.. if you don't start communicating you will drift apart and then there will be no hope. Start taking action and coming up with a solution. Put some of your own work into it.
2007-09-11 23:32:02 · answer #5 · answered by mosaic 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i'm so sorry....your situation is really not easy. i suggest you let him know that you want to talk with him. maybe you should go out to eat or something so you have time to just sit and talk and listen to each other. it concerns me that he "doesn't say anything back" when you tell him you miss him. maybe he has feelings that he isn't sharing with you. try to get him to tell you how he feels about your relationship and your marriage. find out if he feels like something is missing like you do. if he cares about you and your marriage, he'll want to talk. if he seems uninterested in taking time to talk about it, that's a problem.
about the dreams....not your fault! :) you're sleepin...out of your control. but the fact that you love having the dreams is an indication that you are not completely happy in your relationship with your husband.
2007-09-11 23:39:27 · answer #6 · answered by breeze 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sue these dreams are normal b/c you miss your husband talk to him about you getting a job to help out hope this helps
2007-09-12 00:10:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Drug him, fly by helicopter to an island, and spend awhile with him... I have 2 friends in the same situation. They just make the most of what little time they spend together. That might just mean him reading the paper and her on the 'puter.
2007-09-11 23:29:57 · answer #8 · answered by Promised Attitude 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Nah, you're only human, a woman with needs and wants. Use your imagination and hook up with him. Have a "quickie" somewhere on his break or lunch. Nap if you can and be awake when he gets home. Turn your fantasies towards him. You have a better chance of making them a reality!
2007-09-12 08:58:00 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't control your thoughts, so there is nothing wrong with dreaming. The problem starts when you act on them.
2007-09-11 23:31:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋