How would you feel if someone close to you says I want to spend more time alone than withyou? Ive been with my bf for 3 years & Ive always felt that he was the one. But it wasnt until recently that he told me what I wrote above. I fallen in love with him and he's fallen in love with me, but what he said to me hurt me. & I dont know whether to break up with him or not. He has always beenkind to me and gentle, loyal, loving and affectionate, but he is not so romantic and I only see him once a week. I could see him more but I feel like he doesnt want to, Ill ask him if he wants to go out with me and he will usually say no, or he's busy, when i call him he's busy, so he calls me instead. I know he wouldnt cheat, i know. but he doesnt want to be with me as much as i want to be with him. When we get into arguments he treats me like a child and tells me how i should feel, and it hurts me because i know he's not listening. This guy is honest and caring, and he is very spiritual.
2007-09-11 16:05:01 · 8 answers · asked by roxanne14877 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Maybe thats why I feel sad, because he has his own beliefs and I have mine, and the fact that ive accepted his and he hasnt accepted mine. I already told him how I feel about it and we will talk in 2 days. Should I break up with him? I dont know what to do, I love him very much, I though he was the one, but how can you be with someone that doesnt want to be with you as much as you do. How would you feel?
2007-09-11 16:07:31 · update #1
ok...a few things.....if you are going to be in a relationship with a guy, he should definitely appreciate you and want to be with you as much as you do. and i don't believe it's healthy to be with someone who talks to you like you're a child. do you really want that in a guy? i don't. i want someone who WANTS to spend time with me and who talks to me with respect always.
it's important that you be with someone who respects and values how you feel. not someone who tells you how you are supposed to feel. and it is SO important that he be a good listener.
i suggest you make a list of some qualities that you would want in the man who is "the one". would he want to spend time with you?...would he want to be with you as much as you want to be with him?? is the right man for you a good listener? is romance important to you? after you make the list, you can hold it up and evaluate your relationship with your bf.
as much as you may have very serious feelings for your bf, you have to be able to sit back and consider that he may not be "the one". if he is....that's wonderful! but if he's not....then that just means that maybe something better is waiting for you just around the next corner that will make you truly happy.
whatever choice you make, make sure that you are very very happy. don't settle. if it's not everything you think it should be, then move on. good luck with your decision!
2007-09-11 16:25:55 · answer #1 · answered by breeze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
This doesn't mean you have to break up with your guy! first, it would be good for both of you to have a talk about your situation. He isn't sounding devoted to you right now and it's what you need to know. why is he like this???????
You have to see the possibilities, his reaction sounds like he is keeping something from you. maybe he has met another girl and he's being a little cold toward you. come out and ASK him!
Maybe he is going to say you both should see other people! try to think of all this rationally because you will set yourself up to get hurt if you shut out these possibilities, if you find out I was right about what I've said and he admits anything.
the reason i know is that was always the first clue for me when a guy was different towards me, acting cold, and ended up it was because of "someone else." (some girl.)
well, I'd suggest you "play the field" , (the saying back in my day), for seeing other people.
2007-09-11 17:08:39 · answer #2 · answered by julesrules 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to spend more time alone, pls allow him so. The fact is that guys do need time to unwind and enjoy the space they wanted. Same goes to yourself. Don't restrict yourself from your own time too. However, always remember to care, feel and appreciate one another when both of you gets back together. And tell one another what you have done, who you have been with and how much you miss one another. All these should be express willingly, happily and tactfully. There must not be any reluctant or any negative feeling.
2007-09-11 16:44:08 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people who fall in love, court, marry, raise a family, and grow old together do so in somewhat of a formular fashion.
First of all there is a spark, then a fire, and then a burning passion & desire for one another that burns bright, and then gentley settles to a warm and cozy glow. The candle is maintained, replenished when necessary, the wick trimmed regularly, and the flame protected from drafts, and guttering breezes. There is a natural progression in the ritual of the buring of the candle.
Your relationship with this man is out of sync and one sided, needy, and desperate on your part. On his part this relationship is self serving, scornful, sadistic, and the more he erodes your self esteem and degrades you, the more desperate you are to defend his actions and explain his behaviour.
Get out of this sick pschological vampire's passive grasp, he's already sucked enough of your life from you, and I suspect he already is scouting out another young woman to feed upon.
2007-09-11 16:57:09 · answer #4 · answered by jtrall25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
considering you have been in the relationship for 3 yrs...it doesn't sound like it really going anywhere. you really need to sit down and tlak to him and discuss your relationship...you need to know where things stand and where things are going. i don't think he's being truthful to you...that or he's leading you on...so sorry to say that...you need to talk to him.
2007-09-11 16:16:06 · answer #5 · answered by monroe2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah i think that you should break up because three years of nothing is nothing and he sounds like he might be abusive in the future.
2007-09-16 12:30:51 · answer #6 · answered by valencya m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea, dump his punk a s s
2007-09-11 16:20:53 · answer #7 · answered by Big Bull 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick him to the curb!!! why waste your time like that??????
2007-09-11 16:31:21 · answer #8 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋