Marriage question?

Question

My husband and I have been married for 6 years. During a recent disagreement, my husband said he doesn't know for sure that he should have married me. But he says he doesn't believe in divorce. It's been a couple of weeks now, but I still can't get it off my mind that if he had it to do over again, he may not have married me. Is he just "stuck" with me then? I don't feel as attracted to him anymore as I used to be if you know what I mean. I thought about getting some counseling, but I can't afford it as I have no money. What, if anything, should I do?

I did tell him how much his remark hurt me, but he just shrugged his shoulders and hasn't recanted.

Answer 1

Sounds like you're married to a lazy, self-centered, abusive creep. He wants to make sure you don't feel a sense of comfort in the marriage, yet he would never file for divorce himself. He believes in abusing women, but not in divorce. Nice guy! I would start to agree with him. Tell him, "you know, you're right, I'm not sure we should have gotten married at all and I feel the same as you. The only difference is that I believe in divorce. Therefore, I need to take the next few weeks and consider my beliefs. Then, you take off for a few days and go somewhere. Go to mom's house, sister's house, go to a hotel. Just get out of the house for 3 days. See what happens.

Answer 2

See, the crisis with the "Well, a brother and sister dwelling co-dependently might benefit from the identical advantages" means that no 2 immediately men and women have *ever* abused the wedding process after they were not in a romantic courting. But a sibling couple doing so could nonetheless be legally "married"; they could no longer then, in flip, be allowed to marry anybody they had been honestly romantically thinking about with out dissolving that partnership, with all of the authorized issues a divorce can rationale. I imply, I think if a brother/sister pair (or brother/brother or sister/sister, had been homosexual marriage authorized) desired to go into right into a lifelong, non-romantic authorized partnership, definite, they might conceivably call for they be granted marriage rights. But such partnerships could be alternatively few and a ways among, as I believe the social stigma of worrying you be allowed to marry your sister could usually suppress that organization. A extra pertinent query could be on how you can manage the quantity of contributors in a wedding. If marriage is unfolded from in which it's now, then there is the query approximately whether or not polyamorous unions must be legally identified. And if we then accelerated marriage to enable, say, four participants, then what approximately polygamists who consider socially ostracized in view that they have got a five-approach courting? Polygamists and brothers short of to marry their sisters, nevertheless, represent a tiny, tiny fraction of American society. Homosexuals, even as nonetheless a minority, quantity a ways bigger. Opening up marriage to identical-intercourse couples, I suppose, is a strategy to furnish those romantic pairings the identical authorized rights which are presently loved through an identical partnerships, even as minimizing the difference to the total process. Sure, the "slippery slope" argument can nonetheless be implemented, however simply in view that establishing up marriage to homosexuals would open up a larger can of worms doesn't suggest it is not a well and correct factor to do.

Answer 3

Well, first of all, give him credit for being honest with you, most guys do have doubts at some point. Yes, it could have been anger talking, but if it was the truth, you should ask him to elaborate on what he said, and try to listen to what he's saying. Not saying nothing about it is only making it worse on you, and he's probably wondering why you don't want to talk about it beyond saying your feelings are hurt.

He's probably wondering why you are focusing on your feelings and not his. Sometimes, guys need a certain amount of attention, and if you don't give him what he needs, it will show him you are only thinking of yourself and it will be the beginning of the end.

Answer 4

People often say hurtful things when they are mad that they don't mean. I'm sure that may be the case here. While you are laying in bed getting ready to go to sleep ask him nicely..."Honey did you really mean what you said about not knowing if you should have married me?" He may not remember even saying it.... the correct response would be that he is sorry and no he didn't mean it.... could be you could be in for some very good make up sex...LOL

Answer 5

You need to talk to him about it. You need to say, hey what you said a few weeks ago really bothered me...did you really mean that? Most likely, he was just angry and didn't mean what he said. However, if by some chance he did mean it, you need to get to the root of the problem. What has changed between you two to make him feel this way? That way, if it is fixable, you can work on it together.

Answer 6

Greetings!

In the words of Hip Hop artist Usher, "Let it burn". Move on. It sounds like you're both "done". Your husband doesn't have to believe in divorce - it exists. It's practiced in 50 states and many nations. You can file tomorrow if you want to.

Often, in the heat of the moment, people say things they regret later. I think what happens is that in those moments, most people get angry enough to SAY EXACTLY HOW THEY FEEL. The anger just allows them to speak the truth. If he didn't really feel that way, that thought would never have entered his mind.

Move on. Start fresh.

I wish you Peace.

Answer 7

Sounds like you really need couples counseling. Check with a local college or university - they often have discounted services. Check with your local pastor, priest etc. If you keep doing the same thing you will get the same thing - you have to change something to get something different. Good luck!

Answer 8

You need to sit him down and be open and honest with him. Tell him how badly what he said hurt you. He probably doesn't know and he probably just said it in the heat of the moment. Tell him that it is bothering you and be honest about how badly it hurt when he said it. If he loves you he'll explain that he didn't mean it. If not, you guys are over. good luck

Answer 9

He must have said it for a reason. He is obviously unhappy in the marriage. I think that if he is unhappy, you must be unhappy too. His comment shouldn't have been such a shock. He was just being honest with you. If you have problems, try to work them out. Don't stay in a loveless marriage.

Answer 10

Do whatever you wish but realize this. You are not as desirable as you were when you got married; therefore, you cannot do as good as your husband. The very men that would have married you six years ago will pass on you now.

Women lose their desirability much faster then men. At twenty she sells it, at 30 she gives it away; and at 40 she buys it.