I've been told it's a guy thing, but although there aren't any problems in the bedroom, should I have

Question

a problem with my boyfriend always downloading and watching porn? He says it's better than cheating, that most guys do it, blah , blah, but I just don't get it.. What do you think?

Answer 1

It's a guy thing. That is what 11 out of 10 guys do. Women read romance novels and guys read sex stories and look at naked woman. If you want someone that thinks like you, marry a lesbian.

Answer 2

I would TOTALLY have a problem with this. Masturbating now and then is normal, but a guy having tons of porn, talking about it so openly AND saying it's "better than cheating" sends many bad messages. One, it implies that cheating is good and that he's had experience.

My guy doesn't do it and thinks it's pretty lame when guys focus so much time on downloading porn. Make your woopie in the bedroom, supplement when needed and have a happy, healthy sexuality.

Answer 3

Nothing wrong with porn. Most guys do some form of it, either on-line or magazines. I'm not into it, I prefer the real thing, but I've never understood the big deal. It's just fantasy, like women watching Soap Operas or reading romance novels.

Believe me, it's 1000 times better than cheating. If you want him to stop, try watching it with him, pick up a few new tricks and head to the bedroom.

Answer 4

1] Honestly, I think about my GF almost every time I masturbate. Why? Because I like it. But I still use some kind of porn [pictures or video] sometimes. There's nothing wrong with it.

2] While there's absolutely nothing wrong with it, it might be something you should think about if he does it ALL the ******* time. My GF watches porn sometimes.

3] He shouldn't have to download porn, good god, there's plenty of stuff you can look at without going to the lengths or downloading stuff from a potentially untrustworthy source onto your computer.

Answer 5

I think it's wrong for him to always be watching porn. I've had this problem with my boyfriend, and it was a very hurtful and drawn-out issue. You should explain to him that it hurts you and makes you feel unwanted or devalued. If he doesn't understand or doesn't care about you enough to change his habit, then he's a jerk. You should get a guy who will at least TRY to not watch porn and who is more interested in spending time with you than jacking off in front of his computer.

Answer 6

Porn can be nothing more than an attraction. Or it could be an addiction. It can gain strength by how much you feed you need for it. Guys are visual creatures. If he really is unsatisfied with you, than there's a problem. If he's just seeing what is on the net, it may not be a problem . Encourage and politley confront, that is the key. Seek to understand before you are understood.

Answer 7

I don't know about "always", and if you have an issue with it and the porn is more important to him than the fact that it bothers you, then there are bigger issues of respect in your relationship...

But yes - most guys will look at porn. And as long as it's not interfering with the real-life relationship (either taking the place of intimacy, or causing undue stress on the relationship) then it's really shouldn't be an issue.

Answer 8

The only problem I would really have with it is his comment "it's better than cheating". What the hell is he saying, if he didn't have porn he might be cheating? Sounds like a problem. Watching porn, normal and acceptable to a degree, making comments like that to excuse it, unacceptable, to me anyway. I think that's the real issue you should be discussing with him.

Answer 9

Pornography can be a very debilitating thing in a relationship. There are very few, if any, up sides to it. Many couples claim that watching it together increases sexual pleasure, but when I've done it with my husband, I found that it didn't. It increased sexual arousal, but cheapened the sexual act itself. Many couples also end up fantasizing about what they've just seen on the TV, rather than focusing on each other. That, to me, isn't lovemaking. It's just using another body to masturbate with. Personally, I hate pornography, and I refuse to allow it in my household.

Pornography is also highly addictive, in much the same way many recreational drugs are. It's also one of the most difficult addictions to overcome, and has the added disadvantage of creating much larger problems in the way of sexual deviance. Many statistics show that sexual predators started out being addicted to pornography.

Also, someone else mentioned that it is teaching your man other ways of pleasing you. That makes me laugh in a very sarcastic way. Pornography doesn't teach anything about pleasing a woman. Think back to the times you've seen pornography. How often do you see a man orally pleasing a woman? And if he does, how long does it go on for? But she spends A LOT of time going down on him, doesn't she? And to top it all off, when a woman is getting most of her pleasure, it seems to be in scenes where she's coupled with another woman, while the man in the scene happily watches (before becoming involved). The low-down on this is that it doesn't teach men anything except that 1) his pleasure comes first; 2) it isn't his job to please his partner; 3) we can be manipulated into any position that he desires for his pleasure; 4) we are just a place to stick a penis.

This isn't correct for all men, but for some. Most men, thankfully, have the mental fortitude to realize it's mostly fantasy, but not all do.

I do think pornography is cheating, as well. Not in the physical sense, but in emotional ways, which may, or may not, be worse than physical cheating. In my opinion, anything that takes an intimate part of your partner away from you, or vice versa, is cheating, and should not be tolerated in any serious, committed relationship. No pornography, no confiding about relationship problems to someone of the opposite sex, no online chatting in a manner more than friends, no cybersex.

Far too many relationships are falling apart nowadays, and it's because we fail to recognize that our partner's needs should come first. And when our partner reciprocates, both of our needs are met, and we are more whole because of it. Selfishness has NO place in a relationship.

Answer 10

No it's not right to do that. If he loves you like he says then he wouldn't need porn. No hun it's NOT a guy thing. Not all guys are like that.