My sister that lives in Memphis (me in Mobile Al) Called me today and asked me if I would take her 2 1/2 son from her for awhile.
She is single and having trouble finding someone to keep him while she works. She is also having trouble paying bills and taking care of him.
His father is out of the picture, so that is not an option.
Well, I have 3 kids myself and a husband that is a handful himself. It is going to be alot of stress on me and my husband. But, I told her yes.. What else can I say? I want my nephew to be safe and taken care of.
Any Advice... or words of wisdom. ?
2007-09-11 15:06:33 · 11 answers · asked by stacie m 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Advice. Talk about what each of you expects from this arrangement, BEFORE the little one comes to you.
Get a fixed time period - when does it finish? This is so if the boy asks questions, there is a definite answer, and helps you organize your family time too.
Get legal guardianship. This allows you to seek medical help for him, without having to contact her in an emergency, and book him into kindy, etc, if it lasts that long.
Organize visitation. Is she going to stay in touch, or does she intend to "drop out" of his life during this time? If she wants to visit its got to be regular.
If she's working, she's got to be contributing to the cost of keeping him. This helps relieve the burden on your family, and helps her out too. She has to take responsibility for his welfare. Any Social Security paid for him, should go to you.
While your looking after him, he lives with your rules - bedtime, mealtimes, etc. She can visit within that, but has to respect that your ways may be different.
Remind her that you are doing her a favor and so she should be willing to fit in with your life.
Take care, and thank you for being someone your sister could turn to.
2007-09-11 15:47:08 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a sister as well,and when she asks for help I say yes,it's hard to say no to a sibling and especially when there is a child involved. But it does sound hard if you already have 3 children,one more is going to be havoc for your head and husband. The child won't get the specific attention it will need in this time. Perhaps you can help work something out wtih your sister. Help find him a daycare and some kind of Public assistance for your sister to pay bills and pay for a daycare for the little guy. Although it doesn't seem like it will help it just might. Honestly,the child is gonna be confused at such a young age why mommy isn't there. He will want mommy and might even be hard to sooth if mother isn't there,(although i don't know if he is a easy child or not,alot of children need that particular comfort you already know.) Perhaps,while he is placed in a daycare in the day,you can take him over the weekends or for vacations.But honestly,it's her child,she needs to see that the responsibility still falls on her whether she pushes the child to the side or not.
It's hard out there but the fact is,it's not your responsiblity although she is your sister and helping her is great,but taking her responsibility and making it yours is not helping her,but making her have an easy exit on something that is not showing her the right or best way to do things.
2007-09-11 15:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by Himynameis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best Interest of the child.... That should always be in the forefront of your mind. Your nephew is the priority. Do the right thing, take him home, have a long talk with your own husband and children to make sure that if ever there is discussion about complications from his presence, never have the discussions within ear shot. Love him and nurture him, do what is right for him. Do not allow anything to come between what is in his best interest, money or opinions, none of it is as important as his well being. God Bless!
2007-09-11 15:13:46 · answer #3 · answered by arcofthehorizon 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't take this the wrong way, I mean, I don't know your sister; but I hope she is not dumping her kid on you so she can chase some wild and crazy life. The distance I guess kind of sparks my concern. Is she still going to see her Kid? If she is a young beautiful woman, I would hate to see her go into the life of a stripper. The money is just sooo appealing to alot of young women. Next and formost; you also need to make your own family a major priority.
2007-09-11 15:43:06 · answer #4 · answered by runner45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why doesn't she consider moving closer to you so you can help her with her child? If the child's father is out of the picture, why do they stay where they are struggling? There are jobs everywhere, and sometimes you just need to be close to family. And if your husband gets pissy about it, ask him what he would do if his brother or sister needed a little help. That child needs his mother. And his aunt, uncle, and cousins, too. Not suggesting that they move in with you, just close enough to help each other.
2007-09-11 15:15:05 · answer #5 · answered by onceisenoughilearnedmylesson 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is wonderful of you. No doubt it will be difficult for you and your family to adjust at first, but if you have the same rules it should be ok. When it gets tough just think about how much you love your sister, how much you love your nephew and the fantastic good you are doing for them.
2007-09-11 15:13:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely I would take care of him for awhile even though you do have a lot of things on your hand. It's what family is all about. You take care of each other no matter what. If I were you I certainly would because I feel really sorry for her...
2007-09-11 15:18:19 · answer #7 · answered by HoHosareSICK 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are a wonderful person because you took your sister's son under your wing and i am shore you will provide him aperfect home to live you and your husband . and think it this way you made your sister thankful, took your nephew from street and you will a good model for your kides do not feel streesed be happy because god will help you be sure .
i hope i gave you a good advice.
thank you for listening any way. bye
2007-09-11 15:26:12 · answer #8 · answered by white heart 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, your plate is full!!! I understand your resevations, a cousin came to stay with us when I was a kid,(just a few nites), his Mommy said, my Mother raised him!! And it worker out well. He became a minister to a very large church in Tenn. Mom had 4 sons, already,(dad w/dead). But she had heart,&discipline!! She kept an even balance!!!
2007-09-12 03:19:05 · answer #9 · answered by happywjc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your doing the right thing for your sister and nephew..you should feel good about yourself. it takes a very special person to raise a kid that doesnt belong to them. i think that you are wonderful to be taking such a big responsibility! good luck
2007-09-11 15:14:39 · answer #10 · answered by made it to the top 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋