Final Written Warning, please help?

Question

I sat in friends lap (Girl), didn’t hug her. The end of the day, I was taken into an office to be served with the notice. I asked why am I being given this, and the said sexual harassment is extremely serious. The girl’s lap that I sat on wasn’t the one complaining but the person who is serving me with a final written warning (my manager). I talked to the companies legal council, and they said they’re within there rights to skip over a verbal and the three written warnings.
I said its ok for people to harass me, and there’s couple of guys who carry knifes to work, there is about 4 people in my group who are always late (5 to 20 mines late). I’m so stressed out over this, and I don’t know what to do.
They want me to tell them who the people are that are late, and who carry weapons to work. I would be a dead man if I said who. Now I can’t transfer anywhere
I have never received a verbal warning or anything ever, I work hard and always on time. I’m in the top 10% of my group

Answer 1

Watching you pull a girl on your lap may create an environment where other girls/women are fearful that you may disrespect them. This "environment" is one that has been the basis for many lawsuits. Your supervisor was right in giving you a "final written warning" -- the final written warning just indicates that you will be terminated if it happens again -- in other words, they are not going to give you chance after chance after chance.

As to ratting out your coworkers. The late employees are one thing -- your employer should know who they are. But the guys who carry knives could be considered dangerous and your employer can terminate you for failing to identify these individuals. Keep in mind that you should tell your employer not to identify you, and they should keep that private. If the offenders bug you -- point the finger of blame on "the same person who must have reported me" -- that gives you a bit of a scapegoat. And next time, don't try to shift blame.

Continue to work hard, and keep a professional demeanor, and you should do well -- remember that when you are at work, you represent the company and should attempt to do so at all times -- even if/when clients/customers are not around.

Answer 2

Your employer's legal representative is correct that an employer can skip over verbal warnings and the three written warnings. Actually, if the employer has classified your violation as serious, you could have been terminated on the spot. Legally the employer does NOT need to comply with the rules in the employee manual or policy manual. However, any non-compliance by the employer can help you if you file a complaint against them. Remember that when talking to the employer's attorney he/she represents the employer, NOT YOU. Anything you say to that person can and will be used against you.

The violation itself, sexual harassment, can be anything as defined by the employer. Employers have legally considered certain conversations (no touching) between male and female as sexual harassment. So, you really cannot fight that. Some employers believe that any contact between male and female or anything that could possibly be percieved as having something to do with sex must be stopped. Basically the employer is scared that someone, anyone will find something sexual going on and sue them. (Obviously their corporate attorney is driving this.)

If you want to keep your job, your only option is to say "sorry, won't happen again". Then stop the playing around with your friends at work. What that means to you is that you go to work, do your job, and stop being friendly to those of the opposite sex. NEVER touch anyone of the opposite sex, other than shaking hands. This means no hugging when the person needs a hug, no pats on the back and no sitting in laps.

As for the telling on other employees, you have opened a real can of worms by even mentioning this to your employer. You may get in trouble with the employer if you now refuse to give them the names of these employees. When they ask you about this again you can say you just mis-spoke because you were so upset at getting a final written warning and see if that works. If the employer says give me the names or you are fired for insubordination (which would be legal) you will need to give the employer the names.

If your employer terminates you, you may be able to file a EEOC complaint against him if you are in a protected class against discrimination (age, sex, race, ethnic origin, etc) look at www.eeoc.gov.

Good luck.

Answer 3

It was a stupid thing to do, and the company is within its rights to go straight to a final warning. Sexual harassment is a very serious violation and companies don't play around with it because of the potential liability.

Trying to defend one's own bad behavior by pointing out that others also behave badly is a pretty poor tactic as well, as you have discovered. If you say nothing, you may well be in more trouble with the company for covering up violations that are being committed by others - if you do tell, as you have correctly surmised, you will not be popular with your coworkers.

Your best bet is to find a new job now before you get fired from this one. Next time, be mindful of the personal space of others and don't treat the workplace like a singles bar.

Answer 4

First -- when you are being reprimanded at work, the absolute WORST thing you can do is point the finger at other co-workers and what you think they are doing wrong. Looks horrible to those in charge and makes you look like a cry-baby, trouble-causing employee.

Second -- when you are being reprimanded, listen to the charges, own up to them, apologize, explain that you didn't know it was considered sexual harassment, and that it will never happen again. Thank them for counseling you on your behavior and for letting you remain an employee. Look contrite and then let it go.

Last -- NEVER sit on someone's lap at work. Terribly unprofessional. You need to separate work from friendship.

Ultimately this will pass and be forgotten if you simply do your job well. It's even possible, if you had handled the reprimand better, in these cases to request that the write-up be removed from your file if you have no further problems in the next six months.

Answer 5

If I am correct, you can only be accused of sexual harassment by the person you are harassing. It sounds like they are giving you the write-up for improper conduct on the job. I would not sign the write up. I would have the girl who's lap you sat on write a statement that she is not accusing you of sexual harassment and send that to your corporate legal department.

As for the other issue of the other employees breaking the rules... who is asking for the names.
If corporate is asking - you can go ahead and say who is doing these thing b/c corporate will be discrete on handling the situation.

If you manager wants the info - there could be more chance for retailiation b/c of favoritism or other such things like that. If they are demanding the information - you have to comply.... if you fear retailation tell both your manager AND your corporate legal council.

Hope everything works out for you! Good luck.

Answer 6

When getting called on the carpet ,
Ratting out others crimes is NOT what will get you off .
That is a child's response .
That indicates you are immature and incapable of being responsible for your actions ,
That you just look to point fingers & blame others .

The adult response , write a letter of apology for the infraction and reassure them , it will Never happen again .
(even for meaningless infractions) .
In the letter , Do specify infraction , Do Not call it meaningless in writing tho .

Do not know why you can not transfer
( people change jobs all the time ) ,
But unless you want to do the job hunt ,
Learn the "I'm sorry" song , and if you have a union , notify them .
If no union , well that's the price of working in a company town .

>

Answer 7

Look, playing around at work is usually harmless, but there's always the danger of somebody not directly involved being offended. That's why you just don't do it. If it stays as a warning, then just keep your nose clean and that's that. It'll probably go in your file, if you have one. Don't worry, as long as you do your job, show up on time, be in uniform or whatever, you don't have a problem. Playing grabass is not for the workplace. As for dropping the dime on your co-workers, that's up to you. I'd tell them to find out for themselves, however, YOU opened that can of worms. They could put it to you like this...."tell us who's carrying weapons to work or we'll have to let you go." Is it worth your job? Do you think you an find a better job? You're the only one that can answer these questions, man.

Answer 8

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RE :Final Written Warning, please help?
I sat in friends lap (Girl), didn’t hug her. The end of the day, I was taken into an office to be served with the notice. I asked why am I being given this, and the said sexual harassment is extremely serious. The girl’s lap that I sat on wasn’t the one complaining but the person who is serving me with a final written warning (my manager). I talked to the companies legal council, and they said they’re within there rights to skip over a verbal and the three written warnings.
I said its ok for people to harass me, and there’s couple of guys who carry knifes to work, there is about 4 people in my group who are always late (5 to 20 mines late). I’m so stressed out over this, and I don’t know what to do.
They want me to tell them who the people are that are late, and who carry weapons to work. I would be a dead man if I said who. Now I can’t transfer anywhere
I have never received a verbal warning or anything ever, I work hard and always on time. I’m in the top 10% of my group
Follow 11 answers

Answer 9

Sounds as if you may have done wrong,don't see how you can be top 10% of any group, sitting on someone's lap while working.Now you want to rat out your co-workers, for your benefit,because of what you did.
Take your lumps,you are responsible,for your actions.

Answer 10

You have received one or not? "HAVING RECEIVED A FINAL WRITTEN WARNING FROM WORK" then you say "I still havent had this sent formally from my Head Office vis mail or verbal" Your writing is on the wall,say goodbye to your job,start looking for another.