My girlfriend and i have just started a long distance relationship as i have moved to the UK and she plans to move here shortly. I have moved here with her approval to get a better job, more money and our own place to live. I'm busy everyday doing job applications, lining up interviews and so on and at the same time, studying for higher qualifications to get a better job so she can feel more secure. At the end of the day, i'm tired and just want to relax. At night, however, when we talk, i want to have Phone Sex with her because it helps me relax and also helps me sleep because it relaxs me. I mean, thats the closest to sex i'll get until she moves over. She knows this too but somehow, i feel i have to beg for it. Am i being unreasonable that i want that connection. If it helps me relax, am i asking too much considering i'm doing everything i can so she can move over and i can give her a better life? Am i wrong????? Someone please help!!!
2007-09-11 13:11:23 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
And just to add, its also because i miss her like hell and love her like crazy!!!
2007-09-11 13:21:10 · update #1
Hope you can swallow the phone bill!!
2007-09-11 13:14:31 · answer #1 · answered by momof3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she wants to connect with you on a deeper level at night and not just have phone sex and then go to bed alone. You should really be more understanding and considerate of her needs and then maybe she'd be more willing to explore the whole phone sex thing. She is most likely having a hard time with you not being there with her and thinks that all you are worried about is your own needs. She misses you I'm sure, but some women need to feel close to a guy to get intimate like that and since you are not there she might be a little self conscious. This is not a subject that any one on here can really answer because only you two know the complexity of your relationship. This is something you really need to talk about with her to get any thing really solved. So good luck, and no, wanting phone sex is not unreasonable, you both just have to want it to enjoy it. Just like real sex.
2007-09-11 13:25:31 · answer #2 · answered by MelJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend may feel that you are obsessed by sex if all you want to do when you speak to her is have phone sex. Keep it for every now and then, when you have judged whether she is in the mood for talking sex or not. Maybe she feels that as you want to talk sex all the time that you may also be going out and getting it physically elsewhere! Have you considered what SHE wants out of your phone conversations. You may love her and miss her like crazy, but she is probably feeling the same, and wants to discuss other things with you. Try asking her opinion, or what she wants to talk about. If you feel you need to relax through some form of sex, get a porn dvd/video, then you will feel relaxed, and still have your girlfriend without causing bad feeling each time you speak to each other. You can make up for the sex when you see each other face to face.
2007-09-15 05:42:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well some people are more comfortable doing this than others. She is obviously a little self conscious about doing it. I don't think it is a question of her being right or wrong, or you being right or wrong. It's just two slightly different attitudes to the situation.
I made the move in the opposite direction moving from the UK to the US. With the cost of living over there, I doubt the higher wages will really equate to a higher quality of life. But good luck.
2007-09-11 13:15:34 · answer #4 · answered by ZCT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not unreasonable. Not at all. Some people might not feel comfortable saying certain things on the phone tho. No matter how well you know eachother or how long you have been together, she just may not be comfortable with it. Have you tried using instant messenger? I've found its easier to say all kinds of things on there that you might not say on the phone to someone... Give that a try. Or for the phone, you tell her what to do and just listen... You get the picture. =)
Good luck to ya! Hope it all works out.
2007-09-11 13:26:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, one big part about having a romantic relationship is the arena of being able to please one another. My girlfriend is the one who has the ear for phone sex, but I do it because we're away from each other physically, and it does help her sleep well. More than the weirdness of participating with her, I feel good that I can get her off when I'm away. Maybe you just have to build your girlfriend's confidence. She may not be used to it, but most people are willing to learn with enough motivation and encouragement.
2007-09-11 13:18:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG.... i had never done phone sex, until the last guy i dated. i was a bit of a prude, but i really liked the dirty talk, just wasn't used to it. i'm glad i didn't shut him down. we lived across town from each other and we had more phone sex than anything else.... it was great!!!! nothing wrong with it... it's fun. she may be shy and unsure of what to say. tell her what u like to hear. then maybe she'll have more confidence. please tell her that i said to give it a try... it's great. maybe she needs a vibrator. it's not any fun if ur not getting off. get her one and she'll really love it! have fun... to both of you!
btw... we ended up getting married. no more phone sex and i miss it. but u have given me an idea.... time to go back to the way things used to be!
2007-09-11 13:20:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's unreasonable, but she's probably to shy about the whole situation. It's probably best to ease her into it, by telling her sweet things, and saying you wish she could be there and you can't wait to do this and that to her. She'll probably warm up a bit just don't push her too fast too soon.
Remember it's not her job, and it's not fair to make her feel guilty or uncomfortable.
2007-09-11 13:17:43 · answer #8 · answered by Rhuby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think its unreasonable at all.maybe she just isnt comfortable with it.My husband lives across the ocean and
he wants me to do it.I want to,but I feel stupid when I try.Im
actually looking into getting books on the subject.Thats how
pathetic I am.I used to write him erotic letters,but when it comes to being verbal Im just embarrassed i guess.I know hes a very sexual person we've been together since high school.I guess I have to get with the program.I know he loves me but,I dont want him to go elsewhere for sex.
2007-09-14 04:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by steph 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very unreasonable.... you are only thinking about yourself. If you cared about her the way you claim you'd never ask her to do something she is obviously not all that crazy about. And thats indicated by you having to beg for it.
Relax by yourself, she doesn't have to give you a verbal porno to express her love, why do you.
2007-09-11 13:39:33 · answer #10 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's reasonable but if she is shy or not comfortable to do it, don't push her. I was too shy to have phone sex with my ex, but we text to each other instead and that made him very happy & horny. Sometimes girls are too shy to talk about sex, so try texting first, it helps to warm up and you can phone her in suitable time.
BTW, I've read both your questions and think you are perfect. Your gf is very lucky to have you. If I was her, I will do everything for you.
2007-09-11 15:16:34 · answer #11 · answered by Littlestar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋