My husband doesn't trust me and I NEVER lied to him! It is driving me crazy?

Question

I try to talk to him as openly and honestly as ever but its just not working...what can I do???

Answer 1

He needs to stop this--its one thing to have PROOF that there have been lies---then I can see a problem, but you should not be attacked without reason. You need the help of a counselor----he needs to face his insecurties and stop falsely accusing you.

Answer 2

With the first answer you received it was stated that he is insecure? That may be part of it but there must be reasons behind him not trusting you. You state you NEVER lied to him. Was he like this during you courtship, or just one day up and started being this way? It is good that you talk to him openly and honestly. It may not be working because there is basis for his concern, he may or may not have reason for mistrust but if he does then focus on that and be honest with yourself. If there is no trust then it is hard to have a relationship. It is that simple. If you are not doing things now to build his trust in you, or have not in the past then there is nothing you can do but get a divorce, move on and do not look back. If you want to seek counseling first then do so.

Answer 3

Well, If you have never lied or hidden anything from him then it is not you it is him. There is nothing that you can do. He is the one that needs help. The problem there is that he has to see that it is creating a problem before he will be willing to fix it. I'm sorry that I didn't have better news for you. Talk to him and let him know that you need to be trusted by him. Trust is a huge factor in a successful relationship. Maybe you can convince him to go see a counselor for the sake of saving your marriage. If not then you have to ask yourself if you can live in the relationship the way it is. You have to be able to be happy with the way things are right now because they will not get better unless he works on it. If you can live like this then you have to just let go of the angst that it is causing you and try to be happy in your marriage. If you can not live like this then tell him that without counseling that you can not stay. Good Luck

Answer 4

As a retired lawyer from my experiences of couples depending on how long they have been married, husbands and wives do something play mind games with each other and if the partner is attractive there is always a suspicion that the relationship is going stale and an affair is going on or wanted, you are trying too hard, tell your husband that unless he starts trusting you and working things out you will leave him until he sorts his head out, it normally works. Best Of Luck

Answer 5

It's clear that he's insecure about his relationship with you. Maybe you should establish a time where you two can talk and express each others' feelings without any snide remarks or talk-back.

My girlfriend and I were having some issues, and then we started doing this thing where we let one person just talk until their train of thought is complete. She says everything she feels about a stressful situation, or whatever. I listen, and then I tell her what I think about it without attacking her--merely telling her how I feel. It's been working well. We have an understanding that neither one of us is perfect, and though it seems vulnerable, it works for us.

Answer 6

I have the same exact problem with my boyfriend right now. He trusts me somewhat but not 100% like I trust him. I believe that it is because his other girlfriends have cheated and lied to him in the pass. I have never ever lied or cheated on him. It hurts me so much to know I'm not trusted when I deserve to be.

But, all you can do it prove to him more and more, and just wait. =/

Answer 7

Don't you know when a spouse doesn't trust the other it's because he is afraid you might go out and do what he is doing. As a woman and a wife you refuse to believe that your husband would do that to you. How do you think men get away with it like they do, we believe in them to do the right thing by us but what most women forget is men don't think like we do. It's sex with someone different it means nothing so who is it hurting in fact it helps the marriage. This is the s h i t that they tell themselves in order to justify their actions. What really hurts is hearing men brag about it to each other like it's to be expected because your a man. If men only knew how bad they hurt us by their selfish so called needs.You men can't blame us women for losing respect for you.

Answer 8

He's ovbiously really insecure about himself, i know this may be a little rude, or a little inconvient and not what you want to hear, you can do small things to try and gain his trust, but mainly its up to him to believe and trust you. Just keep being honest, and let the anger fade, or at least don't show him that your angry because then he just starts to think that you are really lying because, otherwise you wouldn't react that way...!
Hope this helps.
Good-luck!
Shay

Answer 9

You have done something for the man to just start mistrusting you out of the blue! Or he has done something and thinks it is just a matter of time before you do the same! Or your husband is a closet marijuana smoker and he is paranoid all of the time! Dude c'mon...Talk to him and ask him what his deal is! Speculation will only cause you a mess of stress. He has a reason for this issue, it is your job to find out what it is, and then reassure him he has no reason to distrust you...

Answer 10

first why is he this way, what reasons have you givien him?
Second, tell himto shut up or his wish might come true. My now ex always accused me of cheating, for 3 years, i didnt until the last month i was with him, i did, got fed up and figured if im doing the time, im gonna do the crime.