How can I get along with my parents?

Question

I'm a sophomore in high school and I still can't seem to get along with my parents (mainly my mom). It's everyday we yell and argue and everything. However, when my dad's home we get along most of the time, but there still is some arguments and it gets pretty heated. Those I can work out, but I love my dad a lot and want to have an "awesome" relationship with him, not an average one. But about my mom, we just can't seem to get a long, and I am getting to the point of hating her, I don't want to but I do. We get in so many arguments and it's terrible. It seems like they think they are always right and whatever they say goes, they say they deserve respect but they never give me any. It's not fair at all. What am I supposed to do? I'm SCARED of them. I want a better relationship with them.

Answer 1

I would venture to say most teenagers go through something like this when they are growing up. What will amaze you is when you get in your 20s and 30s, you will understand and love your parents even more for the boundaries they put on you as a teenager. That means you mature as you get older and right now, you are still thinking with a child-like brain (no offense meant, it's a fact).

As my mother always told me, it takes two to tango so when an argument starts up, don't say anything and it will die out ~ but don't go off in a huff and pout, either, because that won't solve the problems and will actually create more because of your disrespectful attitude. What you don't want to accept right now is your parents are wiser than you and they do what they do out of love for you.

It's true that respect should go both ways but if you are arguing with your mother all the time, where is YOUR respect for her?

You need to sit down, make up a list of things you and your mother have had problems with and talk (not argue) with your mother about some of the issues and try to come to terms with things ~ remember, what she says, goes, but also see if you two can compromise on some things.

If the discussion starts to get heated, sit back and take a deep breath and get yourself under control and tell your mom you need to calm down because you don't want to argue, you just want to discuss things.

You taking those steps may show your mom you are trying to be more adult-like but remember, you also need to accept what they tell you to do even if you don't want to. When you get out on your own, you can make your own decisions and make your own mistakes (and boy will you :) but right now, your parents are responsible for you.

And as my mother told me, even when I was in my 20s and 30s, if she didn't love me, she wouldn't worry about me. Be thankful you have parents who care enough to set rules. When you get older, you will understand more why they did this. Just be willing to listen and learn because you are still a teenager and don't really know all the dangers out there like you think you do.

My mother died 20 years ago and after I matured, she and I became best friends. I really miss her, even to this day, so think twice before you say or do things that will hurt either one of your parents (or anyone else).

And what if you said something really bad to hurt your mom and then she died right after? Do you want something like that on your conscience for the rest of your life?

Show respect to get respect. That does not mean they are always going to let you have your way but your attitude many times sets the tone of things so you change and maybe things will improve around the house.

Good luck to you

Answer 2

You can start by putting yourself, in their place. One day, you may become a parent, so you need to understand where they are coming from. They have been there, and done that. Parents, only want the best for you. Yes, they maybe a little overprotective, but that is because they love you and want to keep you safe. Try, not to get into all these arguments, with your Mom. That serves no purpose. Your Mother is like a very best friend, and no matter what you only get one Mother.

Love, Honor and Respect your parents. Both Mother and Father. They both love and care about you. Believe that. Pray, for strength and understanding. Have a good night.

Answer 3

I was in the same position a long time ago, Parents always feel that their child should be like they were at the same age, they never consider that their child is getting better than they were, and no one is good enough for them, and they are always right, I sat down and talked to my parents and told them that if they didnt change I would leave and get a life and if that is what they want then leave, they will come after you and adopt and accept what you want, if they dont, they never cared in the first place as they vented their problems and angers at you because there was no one else around. It worked for me and many of my friends.

Answer 4

If you have your own room, put a sign on your door that says no anger allowed, if that doesn't work try being a yes person {example: ARE YOU GONNA TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE OR WHAT?!!: you answer calmy and politely "Sure" and ya get up and take out the garbage}. If that at least helps try talking to her when she seems calm like when she's watchin TV or cooking..... or takin' a **** LOL. But anyway, I got that problem and you gotta believe as hard as you can that your at a higher level than she is. Look straight at her until she finishes talkin and respond loudly but not in an angry tone. Don't hate ya momma, she's just tryin' to raise an adult. My momma's mean and my father is reasonable. Love ya momma cuz she gonna make ya stronger against the tougher arguments.

Answer 5

The best way is to get older and move out. The teenage years are for most people the most difficult as far as family relations. Parents are trying to keep their child safe and headed in the right direction to have a successful career and life when they get older.
Teens are in a stage where they crave more independence and freedom.
It wasn't until I moved out and went to college that I realized how many things my parents had said that I should have listened to. Or things my friends said their parents wouldn't let them do which now makes so much sense.
The older you get the better your relationship will get.

Answer 6

What goes around, comes around. If you start respecting your mother, she will eventually respect you as well, although this may take some time.
Most teenagers argue with their parents over privacy, curfews, chores, and lifestyle choices (like piercings). Your privacy rights can be established by negotiation. As far as curfews go, your parents have to trust you to not misbehave by hanging out with hoodlums, etc. As for chores, all parents expect their children to help out with chores. Do them without arguing and you will notice a big difference in their attitude towards you. As for things like piercings, hair color and so on, you can do whatever you want when you become 18 or when you move out.
Offer to pay a little for rent, or to cover the cost of your own food. This will show your parents that you are trying to be responsible.
And make plans. Get a job, save money, and move out on your own. Working will get you out of the house and will provide you with your own spending money as well.

Answer 7

You sound just like me and my mom. The reason you two fight so much is because you are so much alike. You will find as you get older that your mom is a pretty awesome person herself.

Your parents do not have to respect you in the sense you are after. You are the child and should respect authority. I know it is tough, but it is all apart of life and we all go through it.

Hang in and someday it could turn out that your mom is your best friend, really.

Answer 8

Realize that they are human and not just disciplining machines (eventhough that's how it feels at your age).
I can't think of any friends I had at your age that didn't struggle to get along with their parents.
It's hard because you are becoming independent but they still want to protect you from everything like you're 8. That's what a lot of the fighting comes from; them not wanting to let go and you wanting freedom.
I would wager that you fight more with your mom because your personality is more similar to hers than your father's.
Stay busy with work and school and ride it out. Once you go off to college or move away from home, the relationship will get better.

Answer 9

Realize that you are not responsible in these matters. The fact that your aparents like your abrothers birth parents but not yours is something that they have to handle. If they can't then although it may seem unfair you can't force them or anyone to like each other. Some families think that if you have a relationship with your birth family, you are rejecting them. My aparents felt that they had to move across the country because they thought my birth mother was trying to get me back. I have 2 brothers and 4 sisters that were also adopted out and most of their aparents didn't want them to contact the birth family. We all have the same mother but there are 4 different fathers all past away. Our birth mother is still alive and there are 4 more of her children that she kept. I, one brother and two sisters are close but the rest don't care to to continue a relationship with the others. And a couple of them are outright hostile to a couple of us. We have decided to let them do what they want and not force any relation with them.

Answer 10

My dear young one, Please listen to your parents and agree with them whatever the problem might be, you will see in the long run you will start to have a better relationship with your parents. Another thing you can do is get some of your friends over for the weekend. Or you go over to there house to give your parents a night all by themselves. Have your friends come over to help with homework, see if things improve. What I'm trying to say is lean more on your friends, and do your studies. The time will past fast and you will be on your on in no time.