Without a lot of details (married him, found this info out after, he is jealous, possesive, controlling, flirtatious , cheated, has lots of female friends, but wants therapy to save marriage), Now the ? If you found out your husband visited prostitutes on average twice a month for 4 years during his previous marriage; he says because X sex starved him, and he thought it better than an affair that would destroy their family - what would you do/think? Are you counting how many women this must be? Really though - what are your thoughts???
2007-09-11 12:44:27 · 21 answers · asked by Springtime of my Loving 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Umm. How's about this : Kick his filthy a$$ into the gutter, take him for everything he's got. and keep on walking until you find the guy who will take care of you...what a loser !! (Not to mention the health risks he's putting you through!)
2007-09-11 14:38:59 · answer #1 · answered by mamabear_45 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's time for some space. He sounds like he has a real problem. I'd rather a guy tell me that he had an affair in his last marriage than to tell me that he is accustomed to sleeping with women in exchange for money. It's nasty. If it were once maybe twice, OK. But come on, he's got a habit. And chances are, he's still doing it or eventually he will do it again. And I also don't trust the female "friends" either. He's controlling because he knows he's guilty & he's paranoid that you're out running the streets like he knows he is. Don't settle.
2007-09-11 13:00:51 · answer #2 · answered by brooklyn_queens_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would show him the door and tell him to get his own place. He has some serious emotional and mental issues and if you stay with him, your life will be miserable. You can both still go to therapy after he moves out IF he is really serious about trying to work it out but in the meantime, I'd stay away from him until you know for sure he has changed.
He is an adulterer, no matter how he wants to paint the picture. Sex with "anyone" outside the marriage is adultery. They always make excuses as to why they do these sick things so don't believe everything he tells you.
2007-09-11 12:53:31 · answer #3 · answered by KittyKat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what in the world did you see in this guy? i know that divorce is a big step...but damn! This is a heck of a lot bigger than "oh by the way, I had a gay phase in college" this is a serious SERIOUS issue. He needs help, obviously, and the process isn't likely to be neat & tidy...are you ready to go thru something like that with someone who doesn't even sound worth it? I mean, really...jealous, possesive, controlling? what the heck were you thinking? I say get out but it's not my marriage.
and that whole "didn't want to destroy the marriage" crap...that's just what that sounds like...a steaming pile of crap! Don't be a sucker, don't be niaeve...if you are serious about sticking it out - you need to grow a pair and take off the rose colored glasses cause it will be messy and you need to look out for yourself.
2007-09-11 13:10:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What in the world is going on with this picture the man tells you he has been with this many woman and your talking about he said it would be better than affair and destroy their family are you drinking wake up and smell the coffee girl get a grip and run for the hills. Have you thought about the disease out their i would be running to the Doctor like crazy and packing at the same time. but do what ever makes you happy
good luck
2007-09-11 17:01:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, ask him did he use protection. It's a well known fact that hookers always use protection, it's the regular women who don't all the time. Those Ladies will make sure they protect themselves all the time because they are all about the cash.
He did tell you the truth, he slept with a lot of women. Ask yourself does it make a difference if they were prostitutes or regular people.
If you really love him, you will be willing to work through this like any other problem, if you are questioning your love, you probably have to leave.
2007-09-11 16:57:00 · answer #6 · answered by WestCoastin4Life 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is unsafe, do you care about HIV/AIDS? This relationship is so unhealthy. You need to leave him ASAP. He is jealous and controlling because he is guilty. Most men who cheat on their women are jealous, controlling and possessive. He is cheating on you with the worst women, they are guaranteed to have some kind of disease. You don't even know if he is giving them oral sex or if he is using a condom. Terrible, you don't deserve that. When you realize that you will leave. He's not going to change, he isn't going to therapy cause he wants to change, he is going to make you stay. When he is ready to change, he will, he has no reason to right now.
2007-09-11 12:59:55 · answer #7 · answered by KSR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would think im out of here and he is crazy because being with a prostitute thats cheating and that is what destoyed the other marriage and i wouldnt be with nobody like that because you will never be able to trust him and that is alot of women and i would get him checked for deseases and get youre self checked too ! and i would go to a counseler or whatever and he would probably tell you the same thing ! and he did it for so long ! that he is used to that kind of sex activity ! i dont know its you and you have to make the decision for youre self but i wouldnt stay and not trust him for nothing he would have to really prove to me that he isnt about that anymore good luck on youre decision
2007-09-11 12:54:53 · answer #8 · answered by foxy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt matter how many or really what type. it matters that he cheated,period,and wants you to stay. he is not going to stop. if hes that addicted,you could give it to him 3xs a day and it wouldnt be enough,and who wants it that much. any affair will destroy a marriage. i couldnt even look at him the same besides sleep with him. he has more problems then a therapist could help.
2007-09-11 12:56:23 · answer #9 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you married this man way too soon. You should have known more about his character first. Now you have to deal with the situation as best you can. Marriage counseling is a good start, but I would do it while separated from him. It isn't a good sign that he blames his degenerate behavior on his ex. You have to wonder what came first...maybe his ex didn't like sleeping with a man she knew slept with hookers.
2007-09-11 12:50:41 · answer #10 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's messed up. If he didn't feel that he needed to tell you before you married him, he's a liar. That's a dealbreaker. Think about it. He's had sex with all kinds of prostitutes. He could have caught any number of diseases and he didn't even care enough to warn you by mentioning it. I'd leave immediately.
2007-09-11 12:52:13 · answer #11 · answered by B. Nowlin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋