Am I selfish.........?

Question

Am I selfish to want to act my age?
I sometimes wish that I didn't have all these responsibilities... I don't have any kids, but I am taking care of my family. I work full time and go to school. But sometimes I just want to go away and get lost in a bunch of bad ideas.
I don't want sympathy because I hate pity.... But I feel so bad for wanting to just run away, in a sense, and get crazy and let go and just do something totaly crazy. Like run off to Vegas and not worry about bills, mortgage payments, no making ends meat and how the hell I will pay for books.....
Is that selfish?
why, do you think, can't I stop thinking this way?


Just wanted to add that I don't regret helping out and I don't resent my family, but I don't know why I am feeling this way.......

Answer 1

Everyone needs a release from everday stressors, I'm right there with ya! Just because we CAN do whatever we want, and we are old enough to, doesn't mean that we should or it's right. Forget about acting your age...what does that mean anyways?! What, are there rules that come with every age, NO! Everyone's responsibilities at different ages are different. You know what your responsibilities are, and what you need to do, and that is what you should be doing, no matter your age. It's not selfish to think about yourself, but it is selfish, not only to your family but to yourself because YOU DO DEPEND ON YOU ALSO, to just pick up and leave everything behind...honestly, that would be the worst thing you could do because it would obviously just add to the stress that you are trying to run away from. It would turn into an endless cycle.

Think about yourself, you do need to have your own release and something to reduce the stressors of life, but try figuring out a more constructive way to do it that won't leave you even more stressed out in the long run. Maybe, once a week, have a YOU day, or plan a monthly getaway where you can travel, but it won't leave late bills to come back to. Don't allow it to get to the point to where you need to run away to Vegas and leave it all behind...do little things for yourself once a week or month to keep a balance in your life. You'll feel so much better.

Answer 2

I think some of the things your fantasizing about are a bit self destructive and maybe a bit extreme.
Perhaps what your really looking for is a way to unwind and recharge your energy.
The definition of "SELFISH" -
–adjective 1. devoted to or caring ONLY for oneself; concerned primarily with ones own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.

Just by what you have described about how your life has been so far - you are far from Selfish... you even describe that you are taking "care" of your family. Yet still in school and working. Sounds like a pretty responsible & unselfish lifestyle.
Which is good and Nobel -
BUT-you also have a responsiblity to yourself
You come first - you have to in order to remain strong and healthy in order to be able to continue with everything your dealing with.

Self care and nurturing -really just Self preservation is another thing and it sounds like it is more of what you are trying to find time for.
Finding the time ( or making /taking ) the time is important and actually a responsible thing to do.
Taking the time to relax and let go - is healthy and promotes a foundation to be more effective in your everyday responsibility's
You can't constantly be "ON" sometimes you have to be "off" and selfcentered.

You deserve (everyone does) at least 1/2 hour a day doing something completely about YOU.
One half of an hour. Thirty minutes each day equals about 1% of the 1440 minutes in a day. Surely, each of us deserves at least that!
If your not comfortable with taking a weekend or a whole week ( or can't - now) start to plan ahead to "take" time in the future until then, start with small time frames "schedule" YOU TIME into your day between work and school.
Good Luck and Peace

Also there is no such thing as a "geographic cure" - running away will not solve anything. Learn to live with more self focus and find your center here and now.:)
In addition ASK others for help you would be amazed at what people are wiling to do if they think they are "helping" ( look at you:)

Answer 3

You are not selfish we all deserve and should demand time for ourselves. However, that doesn't mean letting go of your responsabilities.

If you see all the tedious part of it of course you will be stressed and overwhelmed. However, EVERY situation has the seed of opportunity in it. You may not see it now so faith that everything will come together will help you keep going.

On the other hand, don't abandon yourself to the idea that things will be better by themselves!!! be proactive and think, think, think on how you can deal with your responsabilities AND have some time for yourself. That may include letting go some responsabilities that you don't need or are not really yours, start learning how to organize your time, etc.

Just in learning how to deal with this you have a payoff from this experience as you will be more prepared for next time life hits you.

Answer 4

Of course your not selfish, all this proves is that you need to take a break. All this stress is weighing you down taking care of your family, a full time job and school; thats alot to ask of anyone. But what youre doing I think is amazing and you cant give up just yet because there are people depending on you and you cant just drop it all and go to Vegas no matter how much you want to.

Answer 5

No it means you are not satisfied. You can become satisfied by finding your true self. (Self realization) it is the only way to be truly happy. You can run here and there but if you don't find reality the beautiful you will be lost and miserable no matter where you go. First one must understand that
We are not this material body, IE; Race, color, nationality, Religion, mind, intellect, senses, job, etc. We are all eternal spirit souls, part and parcel of the Supreme Soul, also known as Krishna, Allah, Jehovah, Vishnu, etc. We never die, only this mortal body dies.
This material world is not our real home, it is called Maya (illusion) and is temporary and full of misery, only one fourth of the souls come here, and the rest are enjoying blissful eternal loving relationships with our Maker named above. Those who are intelligent, take up the process of self realization (Bhakti Yoga) Which begins with the chanting of the Maha Mantra (the great mantra for deliverance from all suffering and illusion),which gives one real peace, happiness and reality. Then at the end of life they can return to the eternal Kingdom where there is no more birth, death, old age, or disease and be eternally happy. Writ me for a direct link to all info on the mantra if you are seeking real happiness. We all are. I am so glad I found it.
For info. Go to harekrishnatemple.com Read Bhagavad Gita- As it is by Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada asitis.com you can read it on line.

Answer 6

Your obviously under a lot of strees, that's why your feeling that way. You should talk to your family and let them know how you feel, or maybe just take a break, have some alone time. Sometimes when I'm stressed out I go out for a walk for an hour, and when I get back I feel good because I've got exercise and I had some time to gather my thoughts.

Answer 7

How far away from the degree you want from school are you? Once you get at least the first degree, maybe you need a break from school so you can travel a bit, even if you need to take some family with you.

I assume you're going to school so you can afford significant help with all your responsibilities; I guess you are just anxious for that time to come, you are not selfish.
Not to worry too much!

Answer 8

Totally normal to feel this way, at any part of your life if you feel tied down to one thing and one way of life. Is there any way for you to have a little outing where you can have some fun. Maybe once a month or once every couple months. Or maybe you can start putting aside a little bit of change here and there and then take a small trip somewhere around there to just get away for a couple days.

Answer 9

if I didn't know any better, I would think you were me! you feel like that because going to school and working and taking care of others and paying bills blaaahh blaaahhh blaaahhh etc etc etc.... is overwhelming! everybody in this situation just wants to get away from all the responsibility, as well they should, you need to take a break and take care of your mental health sometimes! I have a final next saturday (only a 3 day break between my summer and fall class) and I can guarantee you I am going out saturday night!!

Answer 10

You are not selfish, you are human.

It is in the nature of innocence to want to look to the dark side of life. Pornographic movies may sound interesting until you have seen one. We want to know, not guess, the essence of the dark side. It is an adult that discover there is no such thing, only illusory charms.

But such thing is learned from experience, not guessed. You feel this temptation not because you are weak, but because you are healthy, and something in your mind is looking for this kind of experience. Or maybe you just want to rest.

I would suggest some form of escape, of indulgence. Do sow wild oats, but be careful.