Losing it at 43?

Question

My friend is 43 and has 3 teenage daughters she is raising alone. For the last couple of weeks she's been screaming and feeling overwhelmed. Just losing it altogether.
Do you know of many supplements she may want to take to help with her better cope. Do you think she may be ready for hormones? She asked me to do some research for her so I'm starting here.

Answer 1

Heck yes. First of all, the only real cure is for her to get rid of those three teenage daughters!!! I'm just kidding!

She may wish to see an endocrinologist. That's the best place to go. Some simple blood work will tell her if her hormones are causing her to act crazy or if it's her kids fault, lol. She can start taking some simple vitamin supplements that will help support her body so she is better able to handle her life.

St. Johns wort (any pharmacy/market)
Juice Plus (www.juiceplus.com)
Vitamin B12
Rose Hips

Also, sexual frustration can make you act a little crazy, too. So, if she isn't taking time for herself (if you know what I mean...) then that can add to the stress, too.

Personally, I despise multi-vitamins. I have a thyroid condition, so I see an endocrinologist anyway, and when he runs my chem panels, he just pops in and tells to to lay off the B12 or increase my potassium or whatever. Keeps me balanced.

I fell in love with the Juice Plus vitamins, too. I have even lost 15 pounds without even trying! And my endorcinologist says my nutrition levels are spectacular... big praise from the old pug-faced-vampire!

She also may want to look into some anxiety and stress management groups. There are ways to cope. Also, a little extra support never hurt anybody, right? Obviously, raising three teenage children alone is going to drive even the most calm and sane individual a little batty at times. That's just life.

I have a rule. No matter what happens, no matter how hectic life gets, I always do one thing just for me each day. Even if it is something tiny, like making a special cup of tea and sitting quietly for a moment to enjoy it.

Answer 2

Hi, there. Although your friend is not "officially" old enough to be in full-blown menopause, she sounds as if she's deep into peri-menopause. Peri-menopause can begin in the mid-30's and last up to full menopause. Personally, I've had HORRIBLE hormonal fluctuations and mood swings with perimenopause. You should recommend that your friend read "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Perimenopause". I apologize I don't have the author's name with me.

Before doing anything, she should be seen by someone who will do a COMPLETE hormone profile test -- the type done with saliva and not with blood. The saliva test will measure at least 12 different hormones and will be able to track how the levels of those hormones fluctuate through the day. Most Integrative MDs or Naturopaths use such tests, and more mainstream MDs are starting to. No hormones, natural or otherwise, should be taken until it's determined if she truly needs them.

For now, recommend that your friend definitely take a weekend away by herself. That "me" time will help a lot even if she stays home and the girls go to friends' houses. Also recommend that she eat as natural a diet as possible, avoiding processed sugars, alcohol, caffeine, food additives, etc. She should be drinking as much water as possible, and may find that adding 1-2 daily servings of soy will help level-out her mood swings and anger.

Most of all ... tell her she is NOT alone!! There are millions of us going through perimenopause, and we all feel her pain ... literally. LOL. I wish her the best of luck!

Answer 3

Well, not sure this is a good place to start, but I sure don't blame you for trying. I wonder if what she is experiencing is partly an understandable response to trying to take care of three daughters who she knows she can't control 100 percent but still cares a lot about, and the knowledge that middle age is right around the corner, if not here already.

I feel like a lot of feelings and emotions most of us feel can be found in a mixture of things we're going thru. Each of us is an individual with a very complex set of ideals, set to confront the things we live with every day.

I don't really feel worthy of making a suggestion in a way, since I don't have any kids, but IMHO, maybe she needs to get her groove back, find her own center, remember who she really is, and where she came from. Only when she can have a strong sense of self, can she deal with the ones that she loves and feels responsibility for.

Answer 4

Ya, the supplement of 'Go out and get a life!' Take a day off just for herself, get away from the teenagers, they would sure drive me crazy!

Answer 5

She doesn't need hormones; she needs a break from the kids. As a friend, why not take them overnight and let Mom spend a peaceful night relaxing away from them?

Answer 6

she doesnt need hormones unless she started menopause and the average starting age is 50-55 so thats unlikely. truthfully it sounds like she needs a vacation away from the teenagers, some pampering time.

Answer 7

your question covers a lot of territory. it would be best for her to get checked out by her physician before starting something that might not be as useful

Answer 8

Time for massive hormones and other meds.