My BF moved from atlanta to get away from an abusive relationship. Shes been my bf for 18yrs. My husband and I decided to let her stay with us until she got herself together. She has been living with us for close to 9 months now. 3 months ago, we were all having a little drink and strange things started to happen. We had a 3some. Since that time we had one at least 2x's a week. Things started to get strange and I became uncomfortable, so I called it off. No More 3somes. last week my bf confessed to me that she was in love with ME! I told her I am not a lesbian & I love my husband. I told my husband about it & he then confessed that he was in love with HER! After hitting the roof about this, my BF then tells me she is pregnant! By my Husband! :( She actually wanted me and her to raise the baby. I want her 2 get abortion but she wont. As it stands, shes in love with me, pregnant by my husband, hes in love with her and Im still in love with him. what am i going to do?
2007-09-11 11:10:06 · 51 answers · asked by Simply Beautiful 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no phucking way, really?
2007-09-11 11:14:03 · answer #1 · answered by T Leeves 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Good Question!! The old saying "hindsight is 20/20" really holds true in situation, huh. The damage is done, so now you all need to deal with it---realistically.
First of all, your husband probably only "thinks" that he's in love with your BF. She's someone different and it's exciting to be involved in a threesome. Your husband has probably got a pretty big ego right now because two women want him and he is living every man's fantasy with a wife and a girlfriend at home.
Your BF may think that she's in love with you (and she really might be), but you are the person closest to her; she escaped an abusive relationship and you and your husband were supportive of her. Your BF thinks that she's in love with you because she was /is vunerable and you showed her some kindness and love.
As for your BF being pregnant, your husband will probably end of paying child support for the baby. I would think that he would want to be involved in his child's life.
I personally think that you all should stop the threesomes,if you havent's already and concentrate on going back to "normal" and see how everyone feels once that happens. You can't force either of them to feel or do anything. Try to not be too rash right now because you'll end of scaring both of them off and they'll end up together (your BF won't want to be alone right now and if she can't have you, she'll settle for your husband and he'll gladly go b/c he thinks he's in love with her). There really is no good solution to this problem. Sorry.
2007-09-11 11:29:20 · answer #2 · answered by Susan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your BF list your husband as the father on the birth certificate then he will be obligated to help support the child. Do you want to deal with this for the next 18 years? Tell your friend that you are not interested in her no way no how, end of conversation and she is on her own with him and raising the baby. She may change her mind about abortion at this point or find a caring family to adopt the child. Your hubby has fallen out of love with you and will end up leaving you. Dump him and move on.
2007-09-11 11:48:58 · answer #3 · answered by MoonDoggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where do I begin?
First, letting your BF stay with you for a while until she 'gets herself together' would be fine if there were obvious signs of steps to independence within a certain period of time. People leaving abusive relationships can have very poor boundaries in certain respects, so I can't say that having sex with her was a great idea. Someone professional (like a therapist/counselor/social worker) should have been involved with your BF many months ago, and it sounds like your relationship with her is compromised enough that you will not be able to influence her choices or decisions in any way.
Now, you have:
A) A roomie who is also your BF who is also a sexual partner and possibly pregnant by your spouse and who says she is in love with you.
B) A confused spouse who thinks he's in love with her (and even if you hadn't tacitly approved his infidelity with her by participating in the 3-some, she's got cause for child support as soon as that child is born.)
C) A big mess that you don't have any idea how to resolve.
Forget seeking answers from a forum like Yahoo Answers. Get to a professional in your community. Ask your doctor for a referral, visit the local community health clinic and make an appointment, but do SOMETHING that is step to regaining your control over YOUR life before you try to exert control over the other people in your life.
2007-09-11 11:28:57 · answer #4 · answered by CarinaPapa 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all doing 3somes is always bad. as you see people fall in love with others. now you have 3 lives screwed up no wait 4 cause there is a child and there is no way she will have an abortion . it will keep her close to you or your husband if you stay together. all you can do is talk to your husband see what he wants to do but girl if you stay and she stays you might as well be called door mat. cause that is what will end up happing. to you. takeing care of them .
2007-09-11 11:39:34 · answer #5 · answered by tweettreat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Amazing, so I guess birth control should have been brought up. Your choices are this
1) stay together as a 3-some
2) kick her to the curb and pay child support
3) kick him to the curb and you run off with her,
4) your BF and husband go off together
5) you all three go different directions, each equally unhappy.
Your husband might disagree with 2. You don't like 3. Your BF won't like 4. So your choices are either get along, or everyone be equally unhappy with the husband paying child support, so he might be a little more ticked off.
2007-09-11 11:20:42 · answer #6 · answered by x2000 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If this is true you've got a real mess.
I can't tell you what to do. first, is she keeping the baby? If so then get ready to feed another mouth, it's your step kid.
Honestly you can try to find a story to tell the kid later, you've got plenty of time to get your stories straight.
My suggestion, get some time apart. Send her to a hotel or a family members house while you and your hubby decide what you are going to do about your marriage. Once that's settled maybe you should get a 2 family house.
2007-09-11 11:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by tetlitea 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow filmy style lol. i am sorry but all u are in love with sumone . this is sumthing u can't do anthign abt but wait and see what happens. u can't change the fact ur man loves her so u shuld be pissed at him because u are not the one whose unfaithful. divorce him because even if u tell her to leave how can u get over him having love for her also her having his child. what u think could have happend if she wasn't a lesbian and had a baby by ur husband they were going to leave u, trust me. so get out.
2007-09-11 11:15:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truly? What a mess!
She's obviously not going to abort and have the child, and your hubby won't throw her out either coz he loves her. But on the other hand, you won't move out either coz you still love your hubby.....
LIVE WITH IT ! At least he'll get his just desserts coz the newborn will need a daddy to help out anlso on going child support whenever she decides to leave that will continue.
And you need to clearly tell your "bf" to keep to herself and not get involved with her lesbian attraction...
You all need to see a good shrink if this is for real!
2007-09-11 12:37:01 · answer #9 · answered by mamabear_45 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a complete disaster. I think FIRST you consider the baby....the baby deserves a two parent loving family, convince her to give it up for adoption, because how on earth would you explain to a child that they were the product of a threesome...OMG. Then you get counseling for you and hubby....because this seems like something that can be repaired. Good Luck.
2007-09-11 11:19:02 · answer #10 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mushy pass x-lax. What no risk-free practices or did you think of you have been sterile? talk up chum, on account which you do no longer desire to function spousal help to the bill you will quickly be paying too. in case you wreck up, and it grew to become into ment to be (with you having a fling i'd say you weren't waiting besides.) yet whilst it truly is meant to be, you will artwork issues out. purely remember the devil is interior the small print, so conceal your bases next time, and your cock in case you ain't have been given something you won't be in a position to bathe off too.
2016-11-10 04:07:43 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋