I am a 48 year old male , been married for 21 years. The divorce is almost final how ever we can't seem to come to an agreement on our assets. I want to move out. What should I do? It scares me to think aboute the dating thing all over again.
2007-09-11 11:03:38 · 9 answers · asked by pd 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Depends on what state you live in and the laws. Don't settle and regret later. Get what you want/deserve now. I am in the same boat only 43, female with an 8 year old child! Dating?? I haven't done that in 23 years!! Ouch. If you get any good ideas on how, let me know!!
2007-09-11 11:16:59 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there any reason for you to stay at this point? Unless you are concerned she will grab some personal belongings if you leave, then there is probably no reason to stay. As for the dating scene, after 22 years of marriage myself, dating was the last thing I needed to be doing! It is very rare to have a "rebound" relationship amount to anything meaningful. You have to take care of yourself FIRST before you can even consider being around someone else. One of the things I found most disturbing after my divorce and trying the dating scene was the fact that so many "lost" people are roaming around acting like they are OK and responsible, but are actually total train wrecks and not good for anyone --
I was 42 when my divorce was final, had already raised the children and was on my own -- the dating scene was a mess, but what got to me the most was realizing after all those years that I did not have to account to anyone and didn't have to "check in" once in a while which was kind of scary and exhilerating at the same time, like being in a time warp - my daughter and son were in their early twenties and doing their own thing, so Mom was left to kind of falter around and get it together. But I finally did and 15 years later and a bad marriage in between, I am fine and happy with me. NO, it doesn't mean you will have to wait 15 years - I'm just saying that it will take time for you to adjust and you will do yourself and others a favor by not jumping into the sack and another relationship before you are really ready.
Whew! So much for a short answer! --
2007-09-11 18:25:30 · answer #2 · answered by MusicalMagic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry what your going through. Divorce is very hard I know. Been there twice.
About the assets....... If you want to make things easier then just let it go and start over so there is no more arguments. Sometimes it is just not worth the fighting.
The dating issue. Take it slow and don't rush into nothing. Healing from your divorce takes time. If you believe in Jesus then go to a Christian Church and get involved. Talk to people and tell them what's going on. I know it's scary but it will take time. I haven't dated anyone in 6 years due to my second husband. But I am ready in God's time to meet someone. Going to Church really helped me cope with a lot of things. Take it day by day.
2007-09-11 18:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by conny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the hardest obstacle you may have to ever overcome. There is a reason you are getting a divorce and with time comes healing. You will learn to live your "new life" again and it will be hard but you have to remember that you are a strong individual. Take one day at a time and one obstacle at a time and you will feel a bit more confident when things start falling into place. You should move out and get your own place as soon as possible the longer you stay in your home the longer it will take you to let go and move on. Once you start making a place "yours" it will feel great. Start doing some of the things that you enjoy doing, reading, golfing , hanging out with the guys etc.
The dating thing is the biggest obstacle but trust me you are not even close to being ready for that yet. You need to learn to live on your own and become happy with who you are by yourself again.
So take a deep breath and get ready for your new life, not every day will be easy just take it as it comes.
Best of luck to you.It will all work out and believe me you will get through this.
2007-09-11 18:19:57 · answer #4 · answered by Cynthia F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I may soon be in the same boat- but dating is the very last thing on my mind! When the time comes when I feel I am ready to date- then I will approach as I did when I was younger- let others my age know I am available and if there are any takers I will see what I have to pick from! If you move out before it is final it could be considered abandonment- so I would advise against that!
2007-09-12 01:17:34 · answer #5 · answered by buffster06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider this an opportunity not a failure. The opportunity to meet someone who wants to be with you and enjoy your company. This is also an opportunity to do the things that your partner has discouraged over the years. A trip a new gym membership etc. This is also an opportunity to get in shape. After you clear it with your doctor of course. Get into exercising and do it in a public place, say an outside hike and bike trail, cross country skiing etc. You will be able to meet people, and get physically healthy which will in turn make you fee really good about yourself. Good luck
2007-09-12 17:28:22 · answer #6 · answered by Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't recommend moving out until the divorce is final and your assets are dispursed. Don't worry yourself about the dating thing. Take it slow. Take some time to yourself first and get your act together, then just let things unfold naturally. Don't put pressures on yourself.
2007-09-11 19:51:59 · answer #7 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's too late, if the divorce is nearly final. As for dating....it's a jungle out there.
2007-09-11 18:11:10 · answer #8 · answered by Glinda W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be out of there already. get your own place where you can think. i have a friend for you
2007-09-11 19:38:04 · answer #9 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋