I really want to spend the rest of my life with him but he doesn't want to marry me. How do I turn his heart around?
2007-09-11 10:38:46 · 12 answers · asked by Autumns Mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it just takes time. be with him in any way you can for now, don't push marriage on him.. live together, love, laugh, be happy. my sis has 6 kids with the same guy, and they have a house together, but they never got married. ( by the way the oldest are almost 13, they've been together about 14-15 years)
2007-09-11 10:43:40 · answer #1 · answered by Ms Always Right 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time is the healer of almost everything. I would say that you have stuck by him for four years and things still going really good? Maybe if you sat down with him and talked about the fact that you some day want to get married and have babies (if you want them) and you want to ensure that you have a future. YOu have to know that otherwise you can't stay in a relationship that isn't going to have a future. It isn't only about his wants and needs it is also about yours. Just be honest with everything that you want and be very straightforward.
I totally understand with the whole ex-wife thing. Been there and unfortunately he had a kid with her so I have to deal with her two timing, attitutde wearing, stuck up attitude every other weekend when she drops his child off for the weekend.
Hang in there sweetheart, but please be honest with him to ensure that you get a happy future. There doesnt' have to be a rush on marriage or a wedding or whatever, just that you know someday it will happen.
2007-09-11 17:47:24 · answer #2 · answered by Mommy2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't. 4 years and he doesn't want to marry you then you have to be prepared that he probably never will and in 4 more years you are going to be right where you're at now. If you really need and want to get married then you need to find someone that has the same feelings about marriage as you. Do you want to spend years trying to convince someone to marry you??
2007-09-11 17:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by YUMMY1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, do NOT move in with him. (Have you done that already? If so, move out.) Once you live with a guy he has NO incentive to marry because he is already getting everything from you that he'd get if you were married: housekeeping, laundry service, meal service, and sex. If you are not living together, he will eventually want to be with you 24/7 if he loves you. That's when you say, "Not until we are married." If you aren't living with him, he'll miss you and want you back. Eventually, he'll realize that it isn't all about him. Your desires matter, too. If he loves you, he'll marry you because YOU want to be married. If he doesn't beg you to marry him in the next year, then I'd move on. He doesn't love you enough to want to please you. This kind of relationship is fine if you both agree you don't want to be married, but if one of you really wants to marry, the other one has to love you enough to get the license. Otherwise, you need to move on.
2007-09-11 17:47:05 · answer #4 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have given him way too much time already. If you really want to get married you will need to find a different man. If you just want that man you will have to settle for his terms. If he doesn't know by now that you aren't like his ex-wife he will never know. He is not thinking with his heart. That is a very typical excuse many immature men make when they don't want responsibility.
2007-09-11 17:52:52 · answer #5 · answered by misslilly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't..I really hate to break this to you but honestly if he can't trust you after being with him for 4 years and he can't feel that you aren't the same as his ex. Chances are he never will and I dont recomend you try to turn his heart around because he never will do it whole heartedly. It's safe to think this but somtimes men hurt just as badly or worse as women to when we get our hearts broken. I would suggest moving on without him because I dont see why you should put your life on hold. Looks like you've done all you can! I really hope this works out for you..God Bless
2007-09-11 17:57:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off four years is way too long to be waiting for something that's not going to happen. and WHY BUY THE COW, WHEN THE MILKS FREE?!!!? if you feel like you have to ask how to turn your mans heart around,you never had it, sorry. move on and be with someone who will say I do. ~ good luck
2007-09-11 18:02:16 · answer #7 · answered by JazzMaster 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him time, obviously his ex wife did quite a number on him, doesnt mean he doesnt want to spend the rest of his life with you, he will eventually come around
2007-09-11 17:44:22 · answer #8 · answered by t.s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's gonna punish you for what his exwife did to him, then you need to move on. You're paying for consecuences to actions you have not committed.
2007-09-11 18:26:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until he's ready it's normal for that's been hurt to be gun shy
2007-09-11 18:00:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋