husband wants to move to suburbs of new jersey. i want to stay in manhattan. i hate the 'burbs. we have no kids. only a golden retriever. i would rather live in a box in the city than live in the 'burbs with the soccer moms and bratty teenagers wearing juicy couture and driving beamers. i like not having to drive everywhere and having an easy commute and having diversity and everything the city has to offer. both of us won't budge, is this the end of our relationship? thanks.
2007-09-11 09:53:13 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes that is the only solution. Other times one of you will give in. Still other times you live separately and have visiting rights.
2007-09-11 10:15:19 · answer #1 · answered by ralph 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There was a tv show about this very same thing- until they began thinking of having kids, the future, she wanted Manhattan and he wanted suburbs- she gave in because she knew the city was not a good place to raise kids. I agree with you about the soccer moms, but I live in suburbs and cannot STAND the yuppies I have seen, actually I saw more when I lived in city than I do here. But as for planning a family, if you both ever consider having kids, you should consider what is best for the kids. You don't realize how important it is until you have them, I had my daughter when we lived in the city, and I could not believe the parents and kids at that school, had to get her out!! Scums with no morals. I would take a soccer mom any day over those people.
Anyhow, you have to meet halfway, and even if it means living borderline suburbs/city, you both have to bend a little or you will never be happy in a marriage, and if you are not happy, forget having kids, it only makes a marriage more difficult.
How long have you been married? If you are less than 7 yrs then this is why, many marriages get rocky between 2-5 and if you pass the 7th year, chances are your marriage is pretty sound. But both have to work at it, it is not really up to him entirely, it is up to you too. And then when you have kids, it isn't about you anymore, it is about the kids. So, think about that before you consider doing anything.
Best of luck, I really hope it works out, hate to see a good marriage hit rock bottom over where to live. Sit down, write pro's and cons BOTH OF YOU- then factor in kids, check out the Manhattan school, see what goes on at the playgrounds there, what type of parents and kids you see. Then really go out there and check out the high school, they are by far THE WORST! that will change your mind REAL quick!
2007-09-11 17:13:53 · answer #2 · answered by brandy2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought there was something to the vows when people get married? He wants to move, you want to stay...big deal! It's not like he's wanting to move to Africa or New Zealand!
You could always give it a try and see what happens. If you love him you'd at least talk it out with him. It doesn't seem like he's giving you an ultimatum. You don't give up on someone because they have a different idea of your future together.
You only named negative things about the "burbs." There's got to be something you'll like about it-if you give it a chance. However, if you give it a chance with the attitude you've got now, forget it.
2007-09-11 17:04:50 · answer #3 · answered by Georgia Girl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
would be a pathetic reason to get a divorce. You are married darn it, be adults and work it out. Once you start a family i.e. have kids, the suburbs will be the best option and there is nothing wrong in being a soccer mom. With you attitude it does not seem like you would want to have kids.
2007-09-11 17:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Didn't you both discuss where you wish to live before marriage? If neither is wanting to budge and you both want to hold your ground...then you better end the relationship.
2007-09-11 17:00:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not like this all over the USA.
2007-09-11 16:58:01 · answer #6 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋