how to get the self esteem back after being dumped by ur spouse? how to heal the soul?

Question

disloyalty is rejection and insult, or failure especially if someone tried real hard.how to heal the wound? should i see a psychologist. they charge so much just for listening quietly with an expressionless face

Answer 1

If you are looking for a chemical answer to your problems then as far as I can gather you go to a Phychologist, who will try to give you something for depression & I don't think that this is any answer to most peoples social/relationship problems. But that is my own opinion. On the other hand, you may be thinking of getting 'councilling' which may indeed help you but be careful to make sure that your doctor knows that it's councilling you want, unless you're looking for a prescription to help you from feeling so hurt & angry & indeed all the feelings that 'grief' brings too.

The drugs route is one that you don't want to go down for sure. You need to understand what's happened to you & how best you can 'heal' yourself as this is the only real way towards recovery & being able to 'let-go', 'move-on' & all the other expressions used for just saying 'good-bye' & 'good-riddance' to your spouse ...and meaning it!

Your self-esteem is now at it's lowest & you feel like you've been thrown aside like an old rag-doll that's outgrown it's usefullness. But you say very little about your family situation or if you are expecting to begin divorce proceedings and all the other problems that go along with a broken relationship. How long were you together, are there any children, are you working is there a mortgage, do you have a home? All these things will now be affected & this adds to your feelings of failure, rejuection & insult. I've been through this too.

So all I can say with the little I have to go on, is try to arrange your life to make sure that you don't sit alone too much dwelling on nothing else. It's hard I know, particularly if there are financial problems too, but create a diversion for yourself, do things that you wren't able to do when you were together & plan ahead for a 'new life'....clearly he's gone & is doing just that for himself....try not to waste another day on 'grieving' for someone who doesn't care about anyone other than his own wishes. You did not 'fail' if you tried so hard.....he failed by not trying.
You'll get over this sooner if you keep busy & have people around you as much as possible, family & friends especially & plan ahead without looking back. Be strong & show him that you can & will do very well without him. Good Luck

Answer 2

I've been exactly where you are sunita. A psychologist is a great idea, but it's not always financially feasible, and seeing a psychologist is not a quick fix, it involves a lot of time and therefor money. I don't think there is a quick fix for this. Good, healthy self esteem is a process. A good start that worked for me was to join a gym. It's a great stress reliever and It's great to see results in my body (that is a self esteem booster) and I've met quite a few nice and very interesting people there. Remember that YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! Good luck on your test.

Answer 3

My shrink didn't do that. She never had an expressionless face. She busted my butt. I had home work every time I saw her. I had to read books - and write in a journal - and let her know about my progress. The psychologist/counselor can't do the work for you. They are just a guide. Sometimes I really HATED where she was guiding me. It was hard. But - no pain no gain and all of that.

Blessings to you!!

Answer 4

If you go to a church there are free counselors there. Also there are state funded clinics with free counseling. Try that. There usually are too depending where you live counseling groups to help you get through this and see you are not alone. It will give you the chance to meet other people in the same boat and you can get together with them and get eachother through it all. Friends are the best medicine to a devistatign blow like that.

Answer 5

Know its not your fault... time heals. Prayer helps. Did you have any self esteem before.. then you still have it inside you. Be strong and stand on your own two feet. Thank God its over and you can see clearly now. Things happen for the best.

Answer 6

It takes time. I was not dumped, but we all have problems. Have as much fun til it stops hurting. It WILL stop.You have to make the decision to be happy again. Wallow a little, but pick yourself up, no matter how much you don't feel like it. Do it anyway. And don't waitfor someone else to do it for you. Good luck.

Answer 7

sunita p,This should make you feel not so down, not only did my wife have affairs and dump me but one morning I found her lovers truck at my house and then I woke up a couple of months later, disabled in a hospital ! I wrecked my motercycle ! But hey I am alive and still have my sanity plus my family so I will make it through this.Please accept Jesus Christ into your heart and the holy spirit will come inside and never leave you nor forsake you ! Have faith in Jesus and I will see you in heaven !

Answer 8

just run through a few hood rats till you get your confidence back. concentrate on your life and how you can become a better person. don't let her get you down shes not worth it. if she did you dirty like that you never knew her to begin with. brush your shoulders off, because there are too many fish in the sea to be hung up by one. good luck.

Answer 9

Don't you ever let know one take ur self esteem away from u. You first must love urself and everything else would fall in place.

Answer 10

Ok....This may sound strange...but forgiveness can help...I don't mean to forgive the person that hurt you for their sake....but forgive for your own sake. I have held on to anger and resentment towards people that have hurt me...but once I have forgiven them....it is like a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders and I begin to feel better about myself and about life.