Marriage and No Kids?

Question

This question is meant to be light and not taken very seriously. I'm not looking for advice. I'm just curious to other couples' comments on this situation if they were in the same boat.

My husband and I are in our mid-twenties. We do not want any children of our own. Many people always say "Just wait and see, you'll want your own kids". Or they ask the famous question "how could you not want kids?"

Now, we have some clever ways of responding. My favorite way to respond to nosey people is to say "My husband and I are enjoying our selfish years first before we sit down and talk about having kids. When one of us decides we really want children, we will talk about it and come to an agreement". But we both already know the answer is no.

Do you have any other Clever ways that you answer these questions or statements from other people?

I love most of these responses!!!

The real reason, I can't physically have children, which I've always known. We choose not to adopt.

It's much easier and more appropriate coming up with responses with humor instead!

Great answers!!!

Answer 1

My fiance and I don't want kids either. Fortunately, we're both getting to the age where people just don't ask so much anymore.

However - I got this question a LOT when I was younger. Some of my responses:

"I'm really immature and I don't believe in children having children."

"I've been practicing with cats and until I can remember to feed them on a regular basis I don't think it'd be a good idea to try out a baby."

"We've decided to spend all our money on technology so we can support the Japanese economy, and that really doesn't leave a lot of room for kids."

"We already have four but they keep getting taken away."

"My psychiatrist says it wouldn't be good to potentially pass on my mental disorders."

Answer 2

My husband and I also knew from day 1 there would be no grandchildren from our marriage. With the just wait and see prediction, a simple "okay, if you say so!" always worked. The "How could you not want kids?" was much less common, and more difficult to respond to- a simple "we just don't" doesn't cut it. We were married in 1979, when we were both 21, and never did have kids- so some people know young they don't want any, and don't change their minds. My mother keeps telling me it's not to late (I'm 49!)but yeah mom, it is!

Answer 3

I'm in your same situation, mid 20's, wonderful boyfriend, hate kids but not quite married yet! I'm not sure if I even want to get married : )

Here are some fun things I like to say;

I cant even take care of a cat right right now, let alone kids.

I was a kid once and I know what they are capable of.

We want to make sure we can afford it. We want our children to have everything and it takes time to save all that money! (this would be in a sarcastic, snooty, voice)

I say these lines, give or take, but my favorite is referring to pets. Pets are seriously a pain in the ***. Just like kids and they last just as long, 18 yrs. But pets are always cute: )

Answer 4

I totally understand how you feel. I have been married for 23 years... happily married.

One year after our wedding, I was told by my doctor that I could not have kids. Instead of crying myself silly, I came to the realization that I didn't really care.

Of course, I was concerned about my husband and his wants but was quickly put at ease when he said he didn't care. He hadn't really given it much thought, but once faced with the fact, he realized that his love for me was enough for him.

Everyone told us that with time, we would feel differently. The truth is that having a child would "steal" the precious time we have for each other. I don't mean it to sound bad by using the word steal...

That does not mean that we are smothering each other all the time... but we enjoy spending time together when and where we want. We enjoy our freedom.

That does not make us any less human. As for the prying questions... sorry but I don't think you need to come up with clever answers... be honest.. it is your life and your choice. If they like it fine, if not... that's their problem.. not yours.

Answer 5

Well my husband and I are in the same boat as you, absolutely no desire to have children (why some people can't comprehend that I have no idea.) Anyway, we just experiment with different things to say. I've told people flat out that our family planning is our business, or that nieces and nephews are plenty for me. Once to be a brat, I just told someone, "I don't want to get fat" and "I don't think Hubby would be ok with sharing the Xbox."

Answer 6

How about asking them "What in the world would possess you to make that kind of comment?"
My first husband and I were in the same boat. We were married at 29 and neither of us ever wanted kids. We never had any, never regreted it, and over the years told many nosy people it was none of their business and we didn't feel the need to discuss it.

Answer 7

My husband wanted kids even before we were married, so I cannot relate but I would probably just tell them some people do not like little beings that come complete with a bag of their own feces around their waist. Or just tell them it's not their business. They will probably stop asking.

Answer 8

My sister tends to refer to children as "money sucking crumb snatchers" that she doesn't have the patience for. I'm not that extreme. I just say that I'm too selfish to devote my life to a child right now and the whole idea of something growing inside of my body that I have no control over really freaks me out. Or you could simply tell them to mind their business.

Answer 9

Just a fact, in Japan having a dog instead of a child is gaining in popularity among young couples.

Tell them you're making up for Brittany and K-fed

Answer 10

Beyond the general "it's really none of your business" response, I would suggest "Nothing has been decided or ruled in or out". I believe that would just leave the questioner guessing and really doesn't answer the question at all.

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