Gosh! It must be very nice to be Happily Married. Where the husband and wife get along so well, flawslessly, in their marriage life. Happily Married People are living Heaven on Earth, while Unhappily Married People live Hell on Earth...I FEEL SO UNLUCKY AT TIMES!!!!!!!! When I see Happily Married People....so very happy with each other...
2007-09-11 08:15:58 · 30 answers · asked by pain_of_unhappiness 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is so Sad and Depressing!!!! Some people are meant to have all the good luck in this world and some people just don't have any luck at all, in a marriage situation. Why can't my wife change for the better and make me the most happiest man in the world....Why does it have to be like this???
2007-09-11 08:20:37 · update #1
I am currently married to Mr. Right. There were two mr. wrongs before I found him though! Ditch Mrs. Wrong and you will find a soulmate who will make your dreams come true!!! I did and am living my happily ever after!!!!!
2007-09-19 05:48:06 · answer #1 · answered by Notbusy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being happily married does not mean that there NEVER are any hard times....when you marry someone you commit to them and you commit to making the marriage work. You think of each other and want the best for one another. There should be a lot of give and take in a marriage....When someone is always giving and the other is always taking there is an imbalance and the relationship is bound to be affected. The key to a successful happy marriage is communication. When the communication ceases everything else crumbles as well. I am sorry that you feel so unlucky. If you are in a marriage and are not happy...you should try along with your spouse to see if you can make changes to get your marriage back on track...If you have done all that you can...and the marriage is still where it is....then perhaps you should think about divorce.
2007-09-11 08:27:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even happily married people go thru periods of time where they are not happy. I do not believe some people are luckier than others. Marriage is difficult and hard work. You may have to give more to the relationship. Think back when you were dating. How did you treat your wife. Try to win her back, make her feel special, when was the last time you brought her flowers or called to say I love you. Couples that have good marriages care about each other and are considerate. It is a give and take relationship but you may have to give much more for it to work at first. Good Luck.
2007-09-18 15:58:23 · answer #3 · answered by Joann N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had a lot of people tell me that they were shocked to find out that my husband and I have problems--we don't talk about our issues with our friends and apparently a lot of them thought we were the couple you're talking about--"happily married, not a care in the world." I think that all marriages suffer, some more than others, and at some times more than at others. But think about it--marriage entails living with someone for a long time, ostensibly forever, and who could you live with forever without getting irritated with each other or having clashes? There is NO perfect marriage. There are only couples who are able to negotiate the problems gracefully. I think there are three keys--(a) communication is open and constant and respectful, (b) care--you genuinely both care about the marriage and each other, even when you're so mad you want to kill each other, and (c) commitment--same as above--oh and one more--SENSE OF HUMOR is a must. Hope this helps? Good luck.
2007-09-18 18:26:19 · answer #4 · answered by Corozal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am Happily married for 10 years going on 11. My husband and I were married in our early 20's. Mind you, a lot of people were extremely skeptical about our marriage and some even took bets that we were only gonna last for 2 or 3 years, but with open communication, understanding, HONESTY (even if it sometimes hurts), compromise and not going to bed angry at each other are the key factors to a happy, healthy marriage. Oh and going on "dates" once a week helps as well. Best of luck to you! :)
2007-09-17 09:43:28 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Luck? I don't think luck has anything to do with being happily married. I have been happily married to the same man for 15 years and I owe it to a lot of hard work, dedication, love, understanding and the willingness to compromise. We don't get along flawlessly, but when we do have disagreements, we don't allow it to consume us or our relationship. We resolve problems like two mature, educated adults.
A successful, happy marriage is a partnership, not a one way affair. You said your wife should change to make you happy .... have you considered that maybe you have some work to do also? ..... I didn't marry my husband with the expectation that MY happiness was all that mattered. It is a give and take kind of thing.
2007-09-11 08:28:33 · answer #6 · answered by squidsgirl97 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Abe,, nothing is flawless, all have disagreements from time to time. Happily married people don`t wait for happiness to come, they go out and get it. They do this by a thing called work. Marriage takes alot of work, give and take, understanding and sympathetic towards each others` feelings, sharing good and bad times, learning from them, being there for each other no matter what. These are some of the things that make a happy marriage. Sitting and waiting around to become happy is ridiculous..it will never happen.
2007-09-11 08:22:19 · answer #7 · answered by I tell it like it is 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you think being happily married implies things are "flawless" in married life, do yourself and your wife a favor, get a divorce and don't get remarried!!
Happy marriages require work, understanding, compromise, communication and about a thousand other things, but luck plays a miniscule role (if it plays one at all!) They aren't made by one person changing and the other staying the same. You have to make your own happiness, it won't be handed to you.
BTW, my experience has been in unhappy marriages BOTH partners need to change not just one!
2007-09-11 08:38:18 · answer #8 · answered by tnk3181979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you and your wife are so unhappy, but just to let you in on a little secret: even those people who SEEM happily married have their days when they want to kill each other. The reason, though, that they seem happy together is because they remember that relationships go through lulls and ups and downs, and there will be an up side eventually again. If theirs is a true and lasting relationship, they will continue to love each other, even if they don't want to.
Also, stop hoping your wife will change to make your life better! If you want your life better, YOU have to make changes. You can't force anyone to change. You do the things you want to do to make you happy, do things for her, make yourself happy and she will see the changes in you and it might inspire her to make some positive changes in herself. Or, if you want it even better, try to discuss what needs to be changed in yourselves and your relationship and work together on it. Happily Married People know that this is a must to get through their rough spots.
Don't give up!
2007-09-17 12:06:21 · answer #9 · answered by Debi N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happily married people work at it ALLOT! Nothing worth having comes easily, it requires work.
If you aren't happy with your marriage, you should look at yourself first...... What are you doing to contribute to the happiness of your wife?
Think about this for a while... You get out of it what you put INTO it. If you're running around acting miserable, she's going to do the same thing.
Try being nice, kind, and considerate in all that you do with her. You might just be surprised to see her respond in kind. Wouldn't THAT be a kick?
2007-09-11 08:32:48 · answer #10 · answered by wentfishing2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a formerly happily married person, now a widow, I'll speak for most of us. We worked hard to get here. We thought seriously about whether this person was someone we could be married to, we talked about values and habits to be sure we could live together, we treated one another with respect instead of laughing at weaknesses and foibles and making them the butt of jokes at our workplace or amongst our friends. We valued our time together and expressed appreciation for the other. We deliberately cho0se to spend money on something we could enjoy together, rather than on something only one of us likes.
When we disagreed or felt hurt, we chose to believe that the other had a good reason for that opinion or behavior--not just a desire to hurt or anger us. We sought to understand his/her position before enforcing our own. We thought of our partner as just that a partner, not a competitor.
We don't get along flawlessly. We believe that flaws are not the end of the world or the end of our marriage, that love is as much about how you act and what you think about as about either lust or that warm feeling we get when we see puppies with their mothers.
You, you want your wife to change so you can be happy. Chances are that she'd like you to change to make her happy. Truth is, however, that neither of you would be happy if the other changed. Happiness is much more complicated than that. You can be happier if you
1. Quit obsessing over what she does that you don't like
2. Identify 2 or 3 things that she does that you like
3. Comment pleasantly on them to her and repeat the comments to friends/coworkers (No put downs allowed here.)
4. Cease criticizing her to her face or behind her back. If you can't quit completely, do it only to her.
2007-09-11 08:37:02 · answer #11 · answered by Sarah C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋