My wife felt necessary 2 tell me last night this guy friend she has been texting with text her and told her this. "I need 2 talk 2 you soon about something I am worried about" Then she says she is worried about what he needs to confide in her. I sat and acted calm but I know what this is leading to. She is setting the stage for her 2 go out one evening to meet up w/him or go 2 the bar or somehing like that. I have agreed that she can go out and do things she wants & I dont have to be present but it begins to bother me when in my eyes it appears there is so much wk being put into it. The guy friend, who I have met a few times is overweight, 10+ years older and I dont bel there is any affair taking place physically. I've read about emotional affairs though & I feel this may be that. I watch her when she gets text fm him and she smiles 2 herself and then continues bk & forth w/the texting. It makes me feel empty & hurt inside. Is this sometype of emotional affair?
2007-09-11 05:27:47 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it may or may not be. for all anyone knows, he might be worried about a health problem or something financial. however, you should discuss it with your wife. tell her how you feel, and offer suggestions of things that could be done so you don't feel so hurt or empty. maybe she could set him up with someone, and you could double date. my husband and i usually make plans with friends. that way we can see our friends, but still spend time together. however, you and your wife still need to have your own lives. if she's a wonderful woman, she'll understand your feelings and try to work it out
2007-09-11 05:36:57 · answer #1 · answered by hinderbaby 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, but nothing that can't be resolved with a little attention to the matter or counseling. I would tell her how it makes you feel. You two may need to re-establish some guidelines regarding how you relate to the opposite sex. Definintely don't just sit back and let this happen. While she is growing into this guy, it is still an infatuation. She married YOU, and the fact that she does this in front of you and is telling you that she is worried about what he has to tell her is a cry for attention. Not that it's your fault, but try to think back to the areas she has communicated concern (or what she's been nagging about.) Try to work on these things, and you'll see improvement after awhile. I would also play into her cry for her attention by asking her to meet this fellow. That should blow her mind, and you should be back on track with God's grace in no time. Best wishes!
2007-09-11 05:37:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
thank you for a solid snicker. The very concept that ANY affair is far less undesirable than yet another affair is humorous. i'm unsure what you mean via an emotional affair being worse than bodily cheating- that's no longer smart. except that's a case of money for intercourse- seeing hookers, ALL actual cheating contains emotional cheating. whether this is purely a drunken bar %. up. Your final sentence grow to be hilarious. bodily cheating is in simple terms physique on physique lovin- offering you with a actual therapy. WHAAAAT? i think that subject is achievable- I in simple terms have not run right into a place the place people lay around bare, waiting for strangers to purely flop down on precise and hump. Even coping with to acquire a hooker takes greater emotional dedication than you seem to experience actual cheating demands. cheating is cheating is cheating. psychological, actual, or interplanetary. there is not any longer undesirable cheating, ok cheating, or iffy cheating.
2016-11-14 22:58:23 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my answers are somewhat spiritual so forgive me in advance. You are buying into a failed model of marriage my friend. All this free spirited, do what you like stuff NEVER works. When you and your wife married you became one...that means that her friends are your friends and visa versa. My husband does not go out without me and I dont go out without him. We go out as a couple with OTHER couples... As a married woman she has no business 'comforting' a single man...period. Its an emotional set up. Biblically said, you are letting 'eve' (your wife) talk to the serpent (this guy) in the garden, while you sit there and watch or try to ignore it. What will happen is he's going to talk her into taking a 'bite of the fruit' of that tree, and then your marriage will be in trouble. Guard your Garden my friend...you are a man..you know how men think! This is not an innocent situation. My husband would never ever ever let me carry on with some single guy friend..WHY? because he knows that friend will suddenly become the 'shoulder to cry on' when she's upset with you over something and before you know it..she's having a physical affair. You have to put a stop to this now!!!!
2007-09-11 05:46:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I went through the same thing but my wife was/is having an affair with a woman. When women have these emotional affairs, and you are married, by law it is called alienation of affection and it is considered by law as the same as adultry. In Illinois, you can sue the other party as well as your wife. You can talk to her all you want on this and how it bothers you-blah -blah-blah, I doubt she will stop, it's not you it's her and worse her BF who knows you two are married. My advise, get a lawyer now and see what options you have.
2007-09-11 05:51:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anthony 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if this man is overweight or 10+ years older. If he is able to give her the attention she needs that she feels she isn't getting from you, it may very well be an emotional affair.
Insist that she stops all contact with this man, it will otherwise only lead to trouble.
2007-09-11 13:51:56 · answer #6 · answered by J Mack 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be. However, if you don't feel comfortable with what your wife is doing then tell her. You can reach a compromise where everyone can feel secure. They guy probably is in love with your wife (or at least has a crush) and your wife likes that he makes her "feel needed". Tell your wife that you feel she is investing too much time in dealing with someone Else's personal problems when you have a life together that needs work and attention.
2007-09-11 05:34:10 · answer #7 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An emotional affiar can be just as worse as the actual affair. She should stop and you should tell her that this is not going to work. This guy is disrepecting you and it should be dealt with . She's cheating right in front of you.
2007-09-11 09:24:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is an emotional affair that will lead to more than that if left unchecked, rest assured of that. And further, if your not settled with it then ask her to stop the texting and concentrate on your marriage and relationship, after all, isn't that more important? and also, why is she doing this stuff anyway.....is there some void she is trying to fill? why not ask???
2007-09-11 05:40:50 · answer #9 · answered by J.M.C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Empty and hurt inside is right. How hard it is to sit and watch the one you love give away freely to someone else what you so deeply crave from them. I cried 15 minutes on the drive to work this morning over something similar with my husband, except his is not just with one person, it's with everybody but me.
2007-09-11 05:54:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋