was feuding with your mother, and say they didn't like each other, always arguing, and calling each other names, and your wife or husband told you to get rid of the mother or they will divorce you, what would you do?
2007-09-11 05:14:01 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the problem is the person in the middle. if my husband has a problem with my mother, it is my job to help defuse the situation. this might mean keeping them separate. this might mean not talking about them to each other. it might be a power struggle over me. my husband wanting to be most important, my mother wanting the same. it would be my responsibility to make them both feel valued and to make decisions for myself and not let either of them always influence my actions.
2007-09-11 05:22:33 · answer #1 · answered by twosey ♥ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mother is part of the package. She does not live with me or run my life.
A her or me attitude toward any ones mother is unrealistic. If that is how my wife put it, sorry Wife you are wrong.
Then again my mother is not the type to fight with my choice in a woman. One would think that your mother AND spouse would cooperate for the good of their child/spouse.
Most of these squabbles are a result of two controlling women
butting heads over who gets it. One raised you and should have at least 18 years under her belt, the other many fewer but she is the one get sex from. What a goofy situation for a mother to be at odds with her child's spouse. That silliness is only equaled by a wife who would divorce you over your mother.
The more I think about this the more I'm thinking BOTH women should be kept at arms length.
I'm SO THANKFUL the women in my life were not like this.
Another instance of Yahoo Answers pointing out that I've got it pretty good.
2007-09-11 06:00:56 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both your mother and your wife are being selfish. In marraige though, you need to cleave to your wife, forsaking all others. This does not mean getting rid of your mom though! That sounds like a crime or something. I would talk to both of them separately and let them know that you love them both, and will not tolerate the name calling. That is immature. Set some boundaries if the immature actions continue, and they will respect you. Try to help them to understand each other and let both know that you expect them to act maturely and how it makes you feel.
2007-09-11 05:28:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seriously think about the person that I married. I don't always like my in-laws but I put up with them because of the fact that I am a family person and so is my husband, and I would never make my husband choose. I may not go over to their house, or even talk to my in-laws, but I would never make my husband choose.
2007-09-11 05:20:08 · answer #4 · answered by mrsidahospud 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It depends.
My MIL and I are always fighting. I try to advoid her at all cost but that's hard when she comes over to see the kids. My hubby has told her that if she doesn't stop she'll no longer be welcomed into our home. He choice me over her.
When you marry you are starting a new family and I say as long as the wife/huband isn't purposely starting anything then I would say "Mom shape up or ship out."
2007-09-11 05:23:05 · answer #5 · answered by Spring 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it all depends on why they are fighting. Is it justified or are they fighting just because they choose not to get along? My father didn't like my boyfriend because he like my ex husband better. He wouldn't let him come over to their house and he wouldn't talk to him. So, I stopped going over to their house and didn't talk to my dad unless it was necessary. I did this because my boyfriend is a very good person and never did anything to make my dad act like this. Eventually my dad came around and loves my boyfriend so much that I think he is the one dating him. They have so much in common and my dad now realizes how foolish he was and that my ex husband was a loser. It all takes time and totally depends on the situation. Good luck
2007-09-11 05:20:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The can't expect you to just cut your mother out your life completely. Tell your husband or wife that they either need to find a way to deal with the issue with the mother or they can go. If your spouse truly loves you they"ll find a way to work it out if not they are not the right person for you.
2007-09-11 05:21:43 · answer #7 · answered by ashley_122683 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
That is not a good option to give anyone. Your mother is your family and your spouse has no say in your relationship with her. You have to put them both in their place. Tell your mother to respect your spouse and tell your spouse to respect your mother because no one is going anywhere here and they are not acting like mature adults-that attitude should have stayed in High School. Are these women not educated?
2007-09-11 05:25:15 · answer #8 · answered by E! 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hammy, you are my kind of guy!!
My ex made it very clear, repeatedly, that his mother came before me in every way. She constantly put me down, to my face, behind my back, to my child, etc. Nasty stuff. And he never once defended me because he was a complete mama's boy. It was definitely a factor that led to our divorce.
When you marry a woman, she becomes the #1 female in your life, period. Doesn't mean you have to take sides in petty arguments, but it does mean that you aren't going to allow anyone, not even your mother, to repeatedly be nasty to her.
2007-09-11 06:01:17 · answer #9 · answered by meagain 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That depends entirely on why they don't get along.
Most spouses don't get along with their in-laws because the in-laws butt into the affairs of the couple too much. If this is the case, it's time to cut the apron strings with your mom and side with your spouse.
2007-09-11 05:22:50 · answer #10 · answered by dansinger61 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋