i have a prob,last 1day ive got a dispute with my husband,as he wanted to have sex and i didnt want to,so he insulted me telling me that i was an horrible person.so i didnt talk to him,when he came back ystdy he didnt talk either.even 2day hes off,he went to gym.what should i do?am waiting 4him to xcuz himself bcoz hes all at fault.but he seems to be the one who was insulted.hlp pls coz weve never had dispute like this before.
2007-09-11 02:59:41 · 21 answers · asked by j-b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the kind of insult is u nforgiveable.if i could tell u this insult u will be shocked.am really hurt,i know he wont ever ask 4 forgiveness,am i that childish.
2007-09-11 03:20:07 · update #1
Spoiled brat......let him pout.
Obviously he hasn't learned sugar will get him farther for what he wants than vinegar.
2007-09-11 03:06:27 · answer #1 · answered by Rickard 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This happens between most couples. Maybe you should take the 1st step and say I'm sorry. Is it more important that he be the one to apologize or that you two make up and move on. Also, you have to realize that a relationship is about compromise. You two aren't always going to want to have sex at the exact same time. So, even when you don't want it, you may want to at least consider giving in and meeting him in the middle. Just like, sex or no, I'm sure that you want to do things sometimes and he gives in even if he really doesn't want to.
It wasn't ok for him to insult you, though. I would expect an apology for that. But, remember marriage is a compromise and is all about doing your best to keep the other happy.
Unfortunately, some of us girls get it into our heads that a guy should meet us in the middle on everything, be sweet and considerate and blah, blah, blah but that we shouldn't have to keep him pleased, especially in bed, unless we want to. That's wrong ladies. I don't know if this applies to you, it may not. But, everyone should remember that sex is as important as anything else in a marriage.
2007-09-11 10:12:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you waiting for him? He wanted sex, you didn't give it to him, he insulted you, you guys are not talking to each other, all is left is for one of you to cheat with someone else. Those are the perfect ingredients for a disaster. You have to talk to him and tell him that you are sorry for not wanting sex at the time, but that he also hurt you with what he said. COMMUNICATION is the best solution for most problems in this world, yet we keep on ignoring it. Remember that communication is not yelling or cursing.
2007-09-11 10:09:04 · answer #3 · answered by why ask 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No marital problem is 100%. You each share some of the responsiabilty of the dispute. If I were you when he gets home don't use words to communicate. Show him how you feel about him and the dispute will be over.
2007-09-11 10:07:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You prepare a nice dinner and talk to him and explain the reasosn why you did not want to have sex...tell him everything you feel be open and honest and make him see as well that when you are not in the mood for sex there are other nice things that you can do together... and kindly ask him to explains how he feels and make him know that he is still desirable too...
2007-09-11 10:07:46 · answer #5 · answered by Heafelomins 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of you has to be the mature person here and mend this rift. It appears he will not be that person because he's acting like a little boy.
You need to sit down with him and talk this out. Has this been an ongoing thing or just the first time? You do not have to have sex with someone, even your husband, if you do not want to.
2007-09-11 10:05:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You certainly had reasons to refuse, but he was hurt cz of your refusal. Tell him that you are equally hurt by his behaviour so the account is square and both may start afresh now!
Things like that are not to be taken seriously. Even if you ask to be excused, it will be OK. You both love eachother and that is important.
Good luck!
2007-09-11 10:07:56 · answer #7 · answered by aWellWisher 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, good for you in telling him no. it seems that long term relationships, people forget how to make love rather than have sex sometimes.
Secondly, as in any relationship honesty is the best policy. so take the first step and approach him and tell him how he made you feel. you will never get anywhere by just "letting it blow over".
2007-09-11 10:48:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
let him know that you love him and that you were sorry you turned him down but that you really wasnt in the mood at that time and can you make it up to him later tonight
oh, and ask him if next time he would just let you know that his feeling were hurt and to cut out the childish silent treatment
2007-09-11 10:04:47 · answer #9 · answered by Joey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you had perfectly good reasons for not wanting sex.
And he will turn this into a perfectly good reason to cheat on you.
By your controlling and emasculating behavior, you have undermined his ego and self-esteem. I'm sure you feel very good about yourself for denying him. I'm sure that your next husband will be more pliable.
2007-09-11 15:35:42 · answer #10 · answered by terry m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to grow up. Its amazing how men can turn it on in an instant and expect us to jump right on board. tell him it wasn't anything personal but you need more persuasion than just wham bam thank you ma'am. Let him get over it and when his pride isn't wounded tell him that sometimes you just aren't ready to accommodate him.... Sorry........ I am being cryptic because of the kids on here. Email me if you want a clearer explanation.
2007-09-11 10:10:26 · answer #11 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋