Spanking a 14 yr old?

Question

My friend's daughter is about 14 and is really a spoilt brat. She always wants everything her way and has my friend going CRAZY.

My friend spanks her bare bottom often and it seems like only this way she's in control. He spanks her more to shame her - rather than to hurt her and this really works well.

Everytime she is spanked bare bottom, she is embarassed so much of her nude bottom in front of him, she is good for the next week or so. At times only a threat of a 'panty down' spanking or reminder of the last one - keeps her in line.

He is doing this for a good purpose, but will this harm her psycologically? Will she feel abused or something?

I know for a fact that he does not get ANY sexual feeling into the spanking. But will his daughter feel sexually abused? He does not hurt her in spanking but uses the embarassment of 'panty down' to control her.

He is divorced and doesnt have a 'wife' who can spank the daughter.

Answer 1

A situation like this has to be handled very carefully. On the one hand, children of all ages need to be disciplined, and when a parent finds a way that works, then good for them. On the other hand, there are people out there that feel it is their job to get into anybodies and everybodies personal home life and impose their will on the situation. I am a believer in spankings, but having a 14 y.o. girl drop her panties for the spanking might wind up getting your friend thrown in prison. When they get that age, sometimes changes have to be made. Suggest to him the removal of anything of hers that gives her enjoyment, but use the THREAT of a spanking for more control. If the child believes that he is trying to take a new approach, but believes that a dropped trou spanking is still possible, then she might still straighten up just to avoid the embarrassment. Grounding, restriction, extra chores, and putting a nose into a circle drawn on the wall are all possibilities of punishments that might be just as effective as the spanking. My biggest concern is that she will tell a teacher or councilor that her dad makes her pull her pants and panties down for a spanking, and the next thing you know, the police and child protection services are beating down the door.

Answer 2

A 14 year old definitely is not too old to be spanked!! However, old enough she shouldn't need to be spanked. And there are a number of "delightful" other ways of punishing her -- like, loss of cell phone, early or loss of curfew, etc.

>I know for a fact that he does not get ANY sexual feeling
>into the spanking.

And hopefully he doesn't get ANY from spanking her either!

>But will his daughter feel sexually abused?

Even if there isn't any sexual abuse, she might FEEL or think it is. That is not good ... and she could be calling the officers of the law.

>He does not hurt her in spanking

Certainly a parent should never harm nor injure in spanking, but as I've been told, not much point in spanking unless it does HURT!! [for a few minutes anyway]

>but uses the embarassment of 'panty down' to control her.

It doesn't seem to be working, anyway not changing her thinking and acting.

>My friend's daughter is about 14 and is really a spoilt brat.
>She always wants everything her way
>and has my friend going CRAZY.

That sure doesn't sound as though she is being controlled nor learning self-control.

>My friend spanks her bare bottom often

If "often", then he should be considering some OTHER method of punishment INSTEAD. Like loss of privileges.

And, what do the youth leaders at their plac eof worship suggest?

Answer 3

Spanking a child that age is not child abuse, i don't see what's so terrible about spanking a child at age 14 (or even older as long as they're under 18).

However, a bare-bottom spanking at that age is definitely inappropriate, especially when given by a parent of the opposite gender.

And the point of a spanking is pain, not humiliation. He should not be using the "embarassment of ""panty-down"
' to control her". If it's the embarassment that's the punishment and not the pain of the spanking, then why doesn't he just make her pull down her pants to reveal her butt for a certain amount of time? Of course, that would definitely be inappropriate too. There's really no gaurantee he's not getting sexual pleasure from this.

Answer 4

Last time I checked, 14 was still a child. If you don't want to be spanked, do what you are told. I actually think 14 is too old for a spanking, I would take the credit card and cell phone away.

Answer 5

There is a fine line and we should not risk it too much. The girl is at teenage and has began to develop sexual feelings. As Sigmund Fraud defined it, the relationship amongst parents and children goes through a number of phases and can turn sour or leave great psychological impact is not handled properly.

Although spanking a child is not supported in the western world, it is rather common in East. And interestingly with much less negative psychological impact. However, if other solutions can be found, then it is better not to resort to it.

This will leave a mark on the child. She may find it justified later but we can't tel for sure, can we. However, the children at this age responds to matured calls ... i.e. .. teat them as if they are matured .... give them the respect ... yet protect them when they are vulnerable ... give mental support when they are afraid or have done something wrong ... This usually does wonders.

Answer 6

Hmm...I don't agree with the bare-bottom spanking, especially with her being 14. But I really do think that people are too up-tight these days about spanking. I don't see anything wrong with spanking a kid...hell, they've been doing it looong before our generation. Have you noticed that as time progresses, spanking gets rarer and rarer...coincidentally as spanking decreases, so do morals of society. Back in the day, everyone had such strong morals and values. Now...it's like there is no such thing as morals. Maybe if more people spanked their children, there wouldn't be such bratty ones and ones that wanna get pregnant when they're 15. So yeah, I support spanking. I was spanked as a child, and I see nothing but a parent trying to discipline their offspring. But as for the bare-bottom...I don't think that's very reasonable.

Answer 7

hey am 18 and i was spanked as recent as last week over the knee by my mum. If im naughty i get a spanking simple as that up until i was 26 it was knickers/panties down. now just skirt up or jeans down! does no harm at all. i hate it sooooo much but if it keeps me in line and i am under her roof then yes! My dad sometimes spanks me but he stopped panties down at the age of 15 and i only ever get one from him if i am very bad!

Answer 8

Personally I think 14 is to old to be spanking.

Answer 9

The child is spoiled, if that's what has to keep her in line then so be it. People who call it child abuse are just soft-centred saps who can't bear to see a child in pain.

This reminds me of a man who handcuffed his young juvenile delinquent son to a bed to keep him from running off into the night and throwing rocks through cars. Is that child abuse? Or is it the last resource?

Your friend doesn't get any sexual feeling from the abuse, and if she is shamed and embarassed then the spanking is obviously doing it's job. And if she feels abused then that's her problem, because you can't feel abused whenever you get spanked.

The method of discipline depends on the child.

Answer 10

14 is a bit old to be spanking in my opinion but to each his own. what i have a problem with is him spanking his 14 yr old daughter bare bottomed to psychologically control her. not only could it be considered sexual, it's also mental abuse. it's a form of sexual deviancy, whether you want to admit it or not. if it were to get into the right hands, he would probably have cps breathing down his neck, if not worse.

she didn't get spoiled on her own. somebody helped her with that.