pregnant at 19... bad idea?

Question

i'm 19 and would love to have a baby with my 22 year old boyfriend. we've been together for over a year (will be 2 years when the baby's born)!

The other day i told my mum about my desire to have a baby (mentioning that if i get pregnant next month i would have the baby during my 3 months off from university - so i would have time with the baby)!

My mum said i should enjoy my life first and wait to have a baby. I've already decided that i want a baby before i finish university (in 4 yrs) and preferrably before i'm 21. Is it a good idea for me to have a baby nexy year (when i'm almost 20) or should i wait?

What do you think? What would you do?

ALSO: Me and my bf own a house together and he earns a good wage (enough to support us and a baby)!

Answer 1

I did the same thing. My wife (gf at the time) was 20 when she had our son and I was 22. I made 65k my first year out of college and it all went to baby stuff because we had very little help. We can't go to the bar, we can't spend an evening out. WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! My wife had to drop out of college and I feel if we would have waited until we were 25 and 23 (now) we would be far better off. She would have finished school and we would probably be buying our first house right now instead of scraping to get by.

Although I wouldn't give my boy back anything. Ah what the hell have a baby... it is fun. Plus 20 years from now You'll still be young enough to run around with my grand kids to be lol.

Answer 2

You never mentioned if your bf wants a baby or not. By the way you wrote your question, it seems like you don't care what he thinks or he doesn't want a baby. Don't talk to your mom talk to your bf. Besides, even if he does want a baby you shouldn't be dependent on him, for his house or his wage. Finish school, get a decent job, make a decent living and decide to have a baby afterwards. You still have a lot of time left, there is absolutely no pressure for you to have a baby before age 21.

It's easy having a baby, it's hard taking care of one and finding a guy who would be a good father. How would you finish school with a baby? 3 months is nothing in the bigger picture. Who will take care of your baby while you're in school or working? Is your bf going to work and take care of both of you? How is all of that going to work? Where do you see yourself in 5 years, 10 years.. with a babY?

Think about those things. Don't just think about today and tomorrow, but 1 year from now, 5, 10, 20. A baby is something that you will be responsible for FOREVER. A baby isn't a car or an ipod... when you get bored of it you can't just get rid of it. Even if the father doesn't stick around, someone still has to be there to take care of it.

Answer 3

Why do you want a baby now? Your desire seems pretty selfish and uninformed. Even if you quit using birth control, there's no guarantee you would get pregnant next month, and even if you did it's not the walk in the park you seem to think it is - oh, just go to school like normal, pop it out over summer break, then send it to daycare when you go back to school. Going to school, if you're serious about it, is a full-time job in itself (and if you're not serious, why waste the money?), you should give it your best and get the most out of it now while you have the opportunity. Having morning sickness, feeling bloated, and tne other discomforts of pregnancy are certainly not going to help.

Besides that, what's your hurry? A year just isn't that long to be in a relationship, you and your boyfriend really need longer to truly bond as a couple. Is there any reason that getting married doesn't seem to figure into your equation? More importantly, have you even talked to your boyfriend about starting a family? The WORST thing you could do is just get pregnant (on purpose) without it being a mutual decision.

Having a baby is a serious decision, and every child deserves to be wanted by two loving parents in a secure home environment.

Answer 4

Here's how I did it and I have no regrets. I met my husband in my first year of college. I got my degree almost 5 years later. We got married a few months after I graduated from college. We traveled and enjoyed each other for almost two years before having our daughter who is now 2 1/2 years old. I have no regrets at all because I truly knew my husband, I had matured, I got my degree, and didn't rush anything. I was 18 when I met my husband, 24 when I got married, 26 when I had my daughter, and now I am 29 pregnant with my 2nd. I am happy how my life has gone. I think I would have been upset to become a mom too early and not have spent those times with my husband growing up, traveling, splurging, going out, and things that are really hard to do when you have a baby. Please wait and good luck with college!

Answer 5

Wait. There are still lots of things you haven't been able to do yet that would be very difficult if you had a baby to care for. Also, if you're going to college, you must be concerned about your education. (Good for you!) Having a baby while studying will make it that much more difficult to continue in college. Aside from the stess and time constraints that a baby will bring, lots of women experience mental difficulties while pregnant like short term memory loss and problems concentrating. Some unlucky women end up bed ridden for most of their pregnancy. That would definitely impede your education.

Once you finish college, you'll not only have a degree to help you support your new family, but you'll be more mature and better able to actually care for a child. Not that you wouldn't be a dedicated mother now, but you'll have learned even more to help you overcome the frustrations that come with parenthood.

Answer 6

I started trying for a baby when I was 20.
I now am 22 turning 23 soon and have 2 year old twins. I was in University, and starting my first year of my internship. It isn't easy going at times, but I could not b happier. My partner also is very happy.

I never wanted to be an older mum. There is no guarantee you will fall pregnant straight away. Good luck, and remember it's between you and your man, No one else!

Answer 7

Are you asking to help make your mind up, because it sounds like you already know what you want to do :-D
There's a lot of perks to being a young mommy. So I think the stigma that goes along with that is a bunch of bull. Of course you should enjoy your life. But who's to say that a child isn't a joy?
On the other hand..
I don't know you personally, so I don't know your level of maturity, which is a very important factor when it comes to bringing a baby into the world.
Also, I'm hoping you've talked to your boyfriend about this? Make sure he's 100% in this with you.

This is the most important thing that you'll ever do in your entire life. Don't take it lightly :-D
Good luck!

Answer 8

I got pregnant when I was 19 and gave birth at 20..it was completely planned..and I have absolutly no regrets however, I'm aso Married which makes my situation a little different than yours.

I personally would wait until marriage to have a child with someone since that is such a huge step, however, if you trust that this man is going to be in your life and be there for you and your child unconditionally and you honestly feel that you are ready to be a parent and give up certain things then it' s 100% your choice.

my philosophy is that God doesn't make mistakes...if he blesses you with a child then he/she was obviously meant to be here.

good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 9

if you think you are ready and able to support a baby then go for it. Dont listen to people because they dont know ou or your living arragnments. By bf and i are having a baby and we are not getting married till after the baby is born. One thing you have to think about tho is can you do it alone? What if you 2 were to split up? Can you handle a baby alone? Think about your future and all the things you want to accomplish. If you can still do them and have a baby, and are ready then do it. Make your self happy. Good Luck!

Answer 10

I had my baby a few months after I turned 19.

I'm going back to university in january - and I know its going to be tough. If you want a baby and can rely on your partner to hang around, go ahead and have your little bundle :)

However - maybe it'd be best to take a semester off? The first three months is the hardest..