How do you talk to 25 people about your 15 year old sons behavior problems at an IEP.?

Answer 1

Do not let them blame or intimidate you. Be as strong as you can. Try to come with ideas that will help him at school. Does the school have a few positively stated rules? Such as 'be respectful' or 'be friendly'? Do they do support positive behavior as much as they punish negative behavior? Try to get something added to his IEP that talks about positive behavior support. That is that they will try, very actively, to TEACH him how to behave and respond in situations where he is able to learn. That is, they don't just 'teach' behavior lessons when he is upset...that is a very unteachable time. Are staff at school using role plays with him when he is not upset? Are they using language like your son will "solve problems" as they arise in social setting and them teaching him what some 'solutions' are when he has a 'problem'? (for example, solutions could be 'ignore', 'say "please stop"', 'get a teacher or adult', 'take some breaths and count to 10', etc). I guess what I'm saying is try to be solution focused with the staff and with your son's behavior issues. Language on his IEP should be sure to address what steps are being taken before the behavior occurs. Has the team done a functional behavior assessment? If not, ask for that to be done. There is no way to stop and prevent his behavior if the 'function' of his behavior is not identified. Once that assessment is done, a behavior plan should be written that addresses the function of the behavior, and also teaches replacement skills that serve the same function. There should be proactive language written into the IEP. Try to go into the meeting knowing that the 'negative behaviors' are the common enemy. NONE of you like those behaviors. Not you, not the teachers, no one. Of course, the staff should know this, and treat you and your son with respect, but if they act like your son is the problem, and not some of his behaviors, try to help everyone in the room that the behaviors are the enemy and not you nor your son. IEP's can be so hard , and behavior issues can feel so personal. Ensure the school is doing more than punishing him...that they are also teaching. When a child doesn't know how to read, we teach...when a child doesn't know how to do math, we teach...when a child doesn't know how to behave...we usually punish. Behavior is no different.

Answer 2

These can be long, long meetings. It really depends if this is a first IEP or a yearly "check-up", or an emergency meeting because of new problems. If it's a first meeting or an emergency meeting, it depends if you asked for it of if the school did. Most likely, what you do ahead of the meeting will be move important. Be prepared. Have written questions you would like answers for. Have comments and examples of situations written down. Come with pen and paper to take notes and what is said during the meeting. Have an idea of what type of solution you would like to see to his problems and examples of things that have worked for you to see if they might be implementable in school. Mostly, remember that most teachers (and I'll admit it's not ALL as it should be) are on your side and want the best for your son. But, also remember that most teachers will have to weight what is best for your son with what is best for their other students. Don't be offended if they can't put him first like you can. If you feel like things are not going well, don't be scared to ask to continue at another time or to stand up for your son. Like I said, not all teachers are going to care about your son as much as they should. Finally, let them know that you want to work with them as much as you can so that together you will both be more effective in helping your son. Just keep thinking unity, unity, unity, and then it becomes 26 people trying to help your son, instead of you facing 25 people.

Answer 3

Listen to what they have to say. After they have said it, ask them what they are doing about it. Ask them to develop a positive behavior intervention plan. In addition, request a Functional Behavior Assessment. This assessment looks at the environment, the behaviors themselves, revews all of the past IEP's and psych reports and tries to determine why the behaviors are occuring. The information will help the IEP team to develop a PBIP (see above) that works.

Answer 4

Now that's a lot of people.

Don't go it alone. Get all the support you can. Family member(s), doctor, social worker who's working with your son's case file.

If you don't understand what's being said, ask. Sometimes the wording used is too professional for us to understand. Tell them to make it clearer so that you understand what they're saying. After all this is your son they are talking about.

Don't know if your son will be at the meeting. Don't see any reason that he can't be there. However, if you feel everyone is talking "at" you and/or son and moving too fast, tell them to slow the pace.

You have every right to say what and how you feel as your son's father. You're not on trial and there will be no judgments made.

Go to the meeting with an open mind and if need be ask questions. That's what you're there for. You are there for your son.

There's nothing to be afraid of. You can handle it, no problem.

Answer 5

wow big iep. i thought 8 was hard. Well make a list f things that you want your son to learn or work on and talk over those concerns with the teachers and you guys and gals might be able to set up a great way to work together to help your child.
Fr example if listening is an issue bring it up. If you and the teachers are on the same page it is easier to work on the childs problem spots.

Answer 6

usually at an iep they do all the talking they tell you what's going on, what's their concern's. if you have any question's or concern's right then out before you get there. they are there to help you and your son out not to pass judgment. although some people have a hard time at those thing's because teacher's have forgottne how to be curtious,and forgot how to smile and to put parent's at ease. maybe from being around kid's all day.

but your not expected to make a speach or anything. so it will be alright.

ps your child must be in good hand's because at my son's iep there's usually only 7 people a mix between 2 teacher's and the rest are specialist's.

good luck

Answer 7

I saw your other post, but I'm going to answer here.
Keep emotion out of it - I know it's VERY hard, but you need to be strong.
State the facts about your son. If the school can't handle his disability, they should be paying for a program that can get him a fair and appropriate public education (residential educational program). Demand it. 25 ppl is WAY too much to sit in on an IEP meeting).
Take a friend for support if you can. For the future, look in to your state's advocacy program.
Good luck.

Answer 8

You ask them: "what have you tried and why isn't it working?"
You state what YOUR goals are and you also state what you think he needs. Go from there.
(I'm sure there will be a few teachers who will do a lot of talking. )Just think of him and what you want to see happen in the next month. And ask them "What does he do well?" Make them state the possitive. I have been to too many meetings where everyone jumps in with the "problems" If that happens, say "Whoa! I need to hear constructive suggestions!!" I saw a mother do that over and over about 4 times-bravo, she was advocating for her kid. We professionals get too wound up in the negative..sorry!
I'm gonna guess you have been to many IEPs..you're gonna do fine!!

Answer 9

1) Confidently. You are the parent. You are the expert on your son's history & home behavior.
2) Clearly. Give examples.
3) Be prepared. Have a list of the problems, examples of each at home, plus what you want the school program to teach him, to get him over each problem!!

Answer 10

I can so relate to what you are going through! I used to feel like it was me against the world! Try and remember you are only one part of a whole team!And remind them that,need be! They are suppose to have someone there who is an expert in the field of your son's disability.The expert should have suggestions on how to deal with the problems your son is currently having.Don't feel pressured to make any decisions you are not sure of.Tell them you need time to think about whatever they are suggesting.Good luck! Stay strong,for your son's sake!