My husband left his email open and I saw that he has an account with yahoo personals.?

Question

He has like 9 saved searches. I don't know how this personals thing works. I should be worried huh? How do I approach him with this because he will accuse me of looking in his private email. What should I do?

Answer 1

Well...

1. Yes, you looked. So what! What is he doing with an account with Yahoo Personals?

2. You print off the information, hand it to him and ask him to explain it.

3. If he gets mad at you, tell him "Fine, I understand that you're angry, but that doesn't explain why you have an account with Yahoo Personals. Would you consider this appropriate if you found that I had such an account?"

4. If he's like most men, his ego will be bruised for being found out. Maybe this personals thing was his way of finding out if he still has "it," whatever it is. The bottom line is that he should not be engaged in any activity he has to hide from you.

I had a similar situation about a year ago. Husband didn't have a personals account but was sharing inappropriate emails with someone across the country he'd never met. I was so hurt and angry that I could barely contain myself. I tried to stay calm and speak to him rationally, but wound up ripping him a new one. My husband is a decent man who just lost his way and I know this. When I asked him if he wanted a divorce because I was not going to treated disrespectfully, he got the full impact of how stupid he'd been and what he was about to lose.

You're his wife; of course you need to ask. If he's serious about your marriage, he'll come clean and do everything to regain your trust. That's what my husband did; he's proven himself to me 10 times over and he did it because me and the marriage mattered.

Answer 2

Sounds like major communication problems here. Have you considered: 1. Telling your husband, you would like for him to ask you questions on sex and discuss feelings, beliefs and etc. That you will always keep the discussions private and secret. 2. Your husband may that trust being open with you about questions he has.(fear you will find the subject repulsive, fear you will tell family or friends, fear you may consider him a freak) 3. Purchasing a few books on sexual relationships (Sue Johnson's website has many informative books) 4. Telling him, you are hurt seeking advice from other people on line especially women. You would like to learn more also. You may find the following information of some value. Years of research have shown that most long-term marriages have some very common factors and that the failure of any two or more of this factors in high probability will cause an end to the marriage. (Long term –is defined as a marriage of more than 20 years) 1. Both parties married at age 25 or older. 2. Religious compatible (example: Jews + Hindu just do not work) 3. Common goals (someone likes a simple life, not chasing material wealth or career and some that is very goal minded for gaining as much material wealth as possible, together they do not make a lasting marriage. Another example, a conflict over having children). 4. Social economical compatible (poor + rich only works in the movies) 5. Financial responsible (debt is the number one cause of divorce) 6. Open Communications (agree that it is ok not to agree, tell each other your most hidden secrets, keeping the secrets from everyone, no name calling, and etc) 7. Both parties are very much alike (opposite may attract, but they do not make for a lasting marriage) 8. Sexual compatible (variety in sexual act + partner that finds some acts repulsive, does not make a lasting marriage

Answer 3

Nothing should ever be private on a computer that is in your home. I go in my husbands e-mail all the time and I'll ask about this person or that person he tells me, then i know it's no big deal.You better think of your marriage first instead of worrying about what he might say to you. You have the upper hand here if he starts in on you about spying on him stop him right dead in his tracks and get back to the e-mails.Remember he is going to try to turn the whole thing around and blame you,men are very good at that so don't fall for it . Your husband is the one that is wrong not you you did nothing to be ashamed of you were only being a wife and as his wife you have a right to look for things that might be hurting your family.

Answer 4

Confront him. The issue is not that you looked at what he carelessly left open, the issue is he is cheating on you. Do NOT take this lightly. He either has really been cheating or plans to. It is not easy to do but get this on the table and call the creep out. and yes, too bad - of course he will accuse you of invading privacy using the mentality of "who stole the cookie from the cookie jar" - this is a standard for cheaters or wanna be cheaters because ANY way you find out, it will be YOUR fault. HA! do not take the blame. When you are married this is not acceptable. Not acceptable and YOU did not do anything wrong. Call him on it...bring it out into the light...you may find that your marriage is not at all what you thought and by the way, would you rather go through life pretending or living?:

Answer 5

If your husband has an account in "Personals", it's time for a talk. You did not go searching for information--- he left the information up. You have two options:
1) Ask him about it. He'll either lie or all H*** will break loose. Be sure you have emotional support available. Start giving some serious thought to what you consider to be forgivable.
2)Play dumb and try to forget about it.
The second one doesn't tend to work very well, but the first one has been the death knell for many relationships.

Answer 6

Your relationship is in BIG time trouble. But, of course, you already know this, don't you.

The e-mail is not the issue (besides the fact that there is nothing "private" between married couples). You now know that your husband is very unhappy in his marriage. I'm going to guess that you two haven't been talking to much about your relationship. It's time to let the floodgates open.

Don't focus on the e-mail. Start with stating that your marriage isn't where you would like to see it and you want to do something about it. Ask for some input from him. See where it goes.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Yes you should be worried. He will accuse you of looking at his private things to take the heat off of himself. I would tell him yes, I looked, and we will deal with your feelings about that later. Right now, you need to explain why you are on a personals website.
If you don't confront him, you will just wonder and worry. That eats away at a marriage just as much as what he is doing.

I hope he has a simple explanation! Good luck.

Answer 8

Well technically you were prying into his part of the computer but then your married and if all of your pw's and sites and chats are open for him to see and nothing is hidden then serves himself right hey?.NOTHING IN MARRIAGE IS PRIVATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's looking to cheat on you or has already , how much longer are you going to sit and wait for the penny to drop ? seriously you were already prying , feeling like something wasnt right , thats called a gut instinct so now what you gunna do about it? confront him? why so he can lie then turn the finger of blame on you , not only about prying into his email but because your on line too so therefore you must have pried because you felt guilty over something you'd done and because you were capable of doing it you wondered if he'd done it as well which helped you to start prying.

Believe me this is how cheater's think living it .You could confront him if your ready for the emotional abuse thats going to come with it or you could ignore it and pretend your life is perfect and pretend you didnt check his "personal email" , wth personal come off it.

Answer 9

Ok. In this instance it doesn't matter if he accuses you or not. As his wife, you have a right to know if he is truly looking for someone else.
You need to approach him with it in a very non accusatory way. I know we tend to jump and accuse at everything. But if he is on a dating site...then you need to know exactly what's up! Or you can always do it the sneaky way and set up your own account with fake info and a fake picture...set him up...it works, and you'll find out exactly what you want to know.

Answer 10

Honey, if you're going to cheat and look for someone on yahoo personals, be smart enough to shut the computer off. Geez I feel bad that I married someone so careless and stupid.

That'd be just about right.