Sometimes I feel jealous because they did everything right. They didn't have kids out of wed lock. They stayed married till death. I wish we could see more of that again but at the same time I'm jealous because I've made so many mistakes that they haven't. Puts me almost to shame.
2007-09-10 16:12:54 · 14 answers · asked by sweet 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Bingo Tina....you know exactly how I feel. 1st response missed the boat I think.
2007-09-10 16:20:15 · update #1
Looks like Tina is headed for best answer. Some of you just aren't getting it.
2007-09-10 16:25:23 · update #2
I know how you feel. Like when you see those elderly couples walking in the mall still holding hands and smiling at each other!! I believe that they may have made mistakes at one point, and had difficulties staying together like every one does...but they stuck it out and made it work--not so quick to sign divorce papers when something "better" comes along or they start to fight.
Makes you kinda wonder what's wrong with us. Why noone can stay together with the person they chose to commit to...
2007-09-10 16:19:08 · answer #1 · answered by Tina 4 · 2⤊ 4⤋
They didn't have kids out of wedlock because they married if the girl got pregnant. They stayed married until death do them part because there were no other options, and even if a women wanted to leave 60yrs ago what was she going to do? She likely had 2-5 kids, and was a stay at home mom. Yes I do get jealous, but I am also thankful that if for some horrible reason my marriage would fail I could make it on my own. They also dated different. There was no casual dating, friends with benifits, cell phones, internet blah blah blah. Times have changed, but if the people in my generation start to make better decisions and take marriage as serious as it should be we could be better then our parents generation. I have faith that in 60yrs my grandkids will be talking about my husband and I to there friends about how long we've been married.
2007-09-10 23:27:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you jealous of them staying in abusive relationships because divorce wasnt acceptable in their younger years as well?.
No I dont have any jealous emotions about their ability to stay married or choosing the right partner or not making mistakes , or the fact they did it "right" as you proclaim, for the simple fact that every marriage is different and every person is different if we were all the same and thought the same and had the same values we'd live in a very boring world now wouldnt we ?.
How do you know they didnt make mistakes? were you there ? No so you have no idea if they made mistakes or not and how their spouses dealt with it.
Dont guilt yourself into believing if the family values of the early 30's , 40's and 50's were still around you wouldnt have made the same mistakes you have made now , all that will do is mess with your head , you may have made the same mistake's but had to deal with it differently due to the belief systems they were raised in and you may have ended up being worse off for it , is that what you pictured your life to be like ? No ? then why dwell on the past? live for the here and now.
2007-09-10 23:25:24 · answer #3 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
My grandmother and her brother were put in a children's home because after my great-grandmother divorced her husband she decided she'd rather go bar hopping than be a mother. Again, this is my GREAT-GRANDMOTHER, so circa 1930s.
Older generations had the same problems today's generation does, they were just hush hush about it, which created an atmosphere of guilt and shame and lead to more problems.
I understand what you're saying, but it's misguided. I find myself falling into that ideal, also, but then I give myself a wake-up call and realize that I'm married to my high school sweetheart and we have two great kids, and that I AM living the ideal that was projected in previous generations.
Your life is what you make it and you can't blame it on society.
2007-09-10 23:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no not jealous. I look up to them. I am married with no kids (newlywed)mI want to be like my parents and grandparents. and i do all i can in my marriage to do so. my grandmother was married 60 years before my grandfather died and my parents have been married for 27 years and still going strong. And they didn't have a perfect marriage there whole life and they will all tell you they made mistakes but they worked TOGETHER to make it right and keep peace in the family.
2007-09-10 23:31:25 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Nolan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't think it didn't happen even in our great grandparents time. One of my great grandmother's divorced her first husband and that was back in the early 1920's, and her mother in-law paid for her to divorce him. My great grandfather was born out of wedlock. It has always happened, it always will. The difference is, you didn't talk about those things back then. They made mistakes like everyone else, it was just harder to get a divorce then is all. They had no choice but to stay if they couldn't show cause.
Teen pregnancy was at its highest in the 50's. But girls were sent to homes for unwed mother, married off, or sent to family who then raised the baby.
2007-09-10 23:29:46 · answer #6 · answered by cris 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Life was different then. It was expected to get married, raise a family with values. Those times are not gone. All my children are married/good lives/ nice children. Just like your parents told you,...it's who you hang out with as to what you receive. Look around. Figure out what/who you want in life and go get it. I told all my kids if you look in a bar or club, that's what you get. Try a coffee shop in a bookstore, library,...get someone with intelligence to help you with life. Join civic groups and get on committees. Do charity work. And when you find the right person,.....congratulations! He's out there,.....
2007-09-10 23:32:22 · answer #7 · answered by Groomer Jan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What "older generation" are you talking about? I'm 53 years old...We lived together without marriage, we had children out of wedlock. My mother's generation had the same and my mom was born in 1928. There were divorces. Both of my parents were married and divorced before they met and got married. The reason there seems to be so much more nowadays is because there are BILLIONS more people in the world than there was then. You should be ashamed for not using a bit of common sense and logic.
2007-09-10 23:22:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
Sacred.
How do you know they did everything right? My uncle and his wife look like this now. Old serene couple, holding each other by the arm in the old fashioned way when walking in a park. They are very happy together, 4 divorces behind them (combined score).
2007-09-10 23:43:25 · answer #9 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Sometimes I feel jealous because they did everything right. They didn't have kids out of wed lock. They stayed married till death"
What color is the sky on your world??
Thank you Colleen - that's it exactly!!!
No, first response didn't "miss the boat", I know that there were children born out of wedlock, there were divorces, and there were many things done "wrong" by past generations. I don't have these rose-colored glasses looking at the past because I'm too naive to know better.
But then, I'm also not bashing on my husband behind his back, so maybe the problem isn't the world around you - maybe the problem is YOU.
2007-09-10 23:17:24 · answer #10 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋