we have 5 kids 3 under 2 and i stopped my career to stay home and raise them. but i keep hearing him complain that he's the only one making money and all i do is stay home and hang out with kids all day while he works and pays the bills. and trust me we are busy all day with parks, shopping,etc... so now i got a job and now his comments are now i have to cook and clean and take care of everything cuz your working. i make meals for the whole week so they can be heated up for dinner and they eat lunch at daycare, and i still come home and do cleaning, baths, etc... i want to work cuz i need to get out for my own sanity even part time. so how do i make this family work together, also the babies love daycare cuz the kids and activitys they do, so i don't feel thier getting ignored, and i'm able to talk to adults for a couple hours. is that being selfish?? i don't even drink or anything so i have no outlets help
2007-09-10 15:09:55 · 11 answers · asked by amber l+5KIDS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No you are not being selfish, first off your kids will do good at daycare they will learn how to socialize with other children their act plus they get to do fun activities and they will teach them different things for their age group such as colors, letters, sharing and all different things. As a mother of 2 I can understand how you feel about wanting to be with adults a couple hours a day it keeps you grounded and it is hard to work and take care of everything at home but if it makes you happy and the kids are happy then what is wrong with that. Just ask your husband exactly what he wants for you because he wasn't happy when you stayed home and he isn't happy now that you are working. And if he complains to much about how easy you had it at home all day with the kids then leave him at home all day with the kids and go out with a friend shopping and let him see how easy it is to take care of kids all day maybe he would understand a little more.
2007-09-10 15:26:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that'll keep him far away so there won't be kiddo #6. Just talk to him- remind him that it was his great idea for you to get a job- what did he think was going to happen? He sounds ungrateful. You're not being selfish at all. He needs to help out around the house. There's plenty of the cleaning that he could do and he can certainly give the kids a bath. Has he ever given the kids a bath? If not, he's in for a treat. Or have him go to the grocery store with the 3 youngest kids- he can get the feel of what your job as mother and caregiver is like!
2007-09-10 22:27:02 · answer #2 · answered by RSJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to grow up. Tell him about when you used to be the one to have to do everything in the home. He shouldn't complain as it is, you pre fix the meals and still look after the kids. Pay him no mind, when he goes on. He wanted you to work. And now that you are you and the children seem to be doing better. Ignore his complaints. There is no pleasing him. Stay with the job if you like it. I'm happy to hear the children have adjusted well to daycare.
2007-09-10 22:29:41 · answer #3 · answered by Red Rose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is a handful, raising a family is very difficult. You and your husband need to do what you need to do financially. As for the house work and cooking sounds like you are handling it well. I have an idea for your outlet, attend church or help out there. Pray with meditation, it is very soothing and helpful. God Bless you and your husband for bringing so many wonderful lives into our world, and good luck.
2007-09-10 22:27:11 · answer #4 · answered by shellybgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is just adjusting to the change. Just give him some time and he will realize that everyone is happier when they are able to have some time away....and if he doesn't realize that you are an incredible woman - who works, cooks, cleans and takes care of the children - then tell him to take a long walk off of a short pier. You rock.
2007-09-10 22:23:21 · answer #5 · answered by drunkenpupil 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
omg-hell no you aint selfish-i am going through the same bull crap!- i stayed home did what ever he assigned me to do and he still complained about everything i did-it was either not good enough, hes a a slob. i quit my job to stay home- he begged me too-and now i have to hear him complain about him paying all the bills-or putting me down because something wasnt done right like he wanted -if you ever need to talk you can email me at violette0706@yahoo.com
2007-09-11 02:37:45 · answer #6 · answered by meena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to support you in whatever you decide to do....he can't support you staying home then complain about him doing all the work to make money and you stay home and do basically nothing...which is total BS. Or he should support you going to work...and then he should share in the household chores. He can't have it both ways.....unless you are SUPER MOM....and can do it all without him lifting a finger.
2007-09-10 22:20:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hire some partime help, WOW 5 kids under 3, thats alot!! He might need to learn to cook&clean some too, thats what family member do!!!!!!!
2007-09-10 22:18:17 · answer #8 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to suck it up an quit being so selfish. You are doing what you think is right.
2007-09-10 22:49:39 · answer #9 · answered by pj28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah I had a husband like that.... I sent back home to his mother.
2007-09-10 23:21:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋