What do you think of this poem I wrote?

Question

Autumn days, leaves fall fast,
Winter is near, oh, at last.
Busy, busy, loads to do,
Paper piles to read through.


Caught up with ourselves, blinded eyes,
Put up a show, and live a disguise.
We sometimes forget what we live for,
Racing with life, we sometimes ignore.


I sit by a window, crystal clear,
Hoping I could get my work done here,
Typing, thinking, tapping my head,
As sounds grab my attention instead-


Droplets patter on my windowpane,
Serenity comes from within the rain,
I stop my duties to look a while,
For Nature’s beauty makes me smile.


And as I stare blankly at water pour,
I hear a creak, and look at the door.
Soaking wet, you warmly smile,
As it dawns on me in less than a while.



Guilt shows its piercing face,
Glides through my heart with simple grace,
As I remember what I live to do,
And it simply is…






To love you.

I once again, posted a poem I wrote.

I posted this a couple of times here already.

I just want more comments and suggestions :)

Rate, review, rant!

I'm plainly curious.

My friends called it mediocre,
I just want to get more opinions!

Answer 1

It is a pretty thought, and it has a nice flow to it. I think it would be better if you perhaps condensed it a bit. I also dislike how your rhyme scheme is disrupted at the end. Other than that, nice work and good luck!

Answer 2

You are so talented. I know I've said that before. This is a deep meaningful poem, it may be a different style than you use now but it is so good to me. Drown my soul in wash of sorrow. Build my doubts and leave me hallow. You know I adore you. I wish I could open up the way you do.

Answer 3

Why do you keep wanting to know if it is any good or not?

It is you know

Answer 4

my ADHD kicked in. that was a little long for me, personally.

but...good job.