My fiance is that best guy in the world but he is also bi-polar. I love him to death. But he scares me sometimes because he will go into his bi-polar mood at he will be pissed at everyone.and he usually takes it all out on me. He has punched me in my face before, and given me a black eye and made my nose bleed. I used to have several bruises on my arms and my body from where he punches me sooo much. He has not done it as much as he used to, cause i think he is starting to realize what he is doing to me and to our relationship. but used to almost every single time he would get angry at me, would be while we were in the car, and i was driving. And he would usually hit me while i was driving...it scares me that one day he will cause us to wreck and kill ourselves. He loves me & i know he does and he has seen several psycologists but none of the medicine helps control his moods and one day he wants to have a family. and i have told him that he needs to control himself. Any1 with advice Hlp
2007-09-10 14:31:35 · 30 answers · asked by **Christie** 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Baby Names
Ugh, Baby Gurl I feel so bad for you that you are justifying. I used to be the same way with my 1st relationship. I honestly believed it would get better if I just kept loving him. But the honest truth is this is a problem that will never go away. It's a virus, like herpes. There will moments of a dormant phase where everything will be going well and he won't be hitting you and then all of a sudden an outbreak occurs and he'll strike again.
That is so awful that he hits you while driving, that is the most scary thing to experience (I've been there before). And it's totally unacceptable. I've never drawn blood from this previous relationship, and I'm so terrified that you have and are still trying to stay with him.
Baby Gurl, bipolar-ness is a disease of the mind, but at the same time that DOES NOT justify his hitting you and actingout this violently toward you. Abusers will always try to justify their fits of rage through the stress they have in life or some outside force (in his case, being bipolar) But I've known other bipolar people that do not rage on their loved ones and especially through physical abuse.
IT WILL NOT EVER GO AWAY. IT MAY STOP FROM TIME TO TIME. BUT THE POTENTIAL FOR REOCCURANCE IS STILL THERE.
Please leave this man, and see a therapist to help you overcome this horrid relationship. Once you leave him you will be so surprised, uplifted and relieved to see/know that there were and always have been better opportunities at love than this sorry excuse of a man.
2007-09-10 16:17:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES THIS IS WRONG!
"Domestic Violence is a pattern of coercive behavior in which one person attempts to control another through threats or actual use of tactics, which may include any or all of the following: physical, sexual, verbal and psychological abuse."
SO WHAT if he is bi-polar. He can get medicated and deal with it like every other person out their. Hurting you is NOT OK and for you to say its because of his bi-polar disorder that is not ok either.
Give yourself more credit that this. AND THINK SERIOUSLY about marrying this creep. I know you "LOVE" him but he wont change and the pattern will continue. I am sure he has made you feel like you cannot get anyone better or that he is something special in your eyes.
OH and next time if you let their be a next time. CALL THE COPS and get this creep where he belongs..in jail.
Sorry if this offends you but you sound like you are in la la la land even asking is this is ok.
Get away before it is to late and you have a baby and he ends up beating you both! Good Luck
2007-09-10 14:47:17 · answer #2 · answered by MiMi ♥ 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
NO Bri, you were not wrong. You made the right decisions from beginning to end - you tried to handle it as an adult, you protected yourself by moving after the breakup and tried to spare your brother the truth so as not to upset him. Again Bri, YOU ARE NOT WRONG. Now the "cat" had to come out of the "bag" and it's not your fault, who would have thought this strange scenario would have occurred where they'd be potentially LINKED? Not me, then again? I know this happens in life, strange as it seems so... Let "the chips fall where they may" -Two grown men here - your brother feels like a fool no doubt but fighting this broken down sorry excuse for a man - your "ex" will accomplish nothing. Your ex was a fool for giving him his number...wow, what a fool. Let them handle it their way, nothing more you can do other than apologize once again to your brother and tell him as an ADULT, you thought you could handle this and YOU DID, that you NEVER DREAMED they'd be in contact together whatsoever...A real fluke of life. Stay well dear...And may I say? I'm very proud of you for the action you took all the way around, you have a good head on your shoulders - and you trusted your heart and wisdom. You'll be okay honey...Just stay calm and maybe this "storm" in your brother will blow over with gentle talking...If not? Have your Dad or Mother speak with him or another sibling who can soothe "the savage beast" in him to keep him from pummeling your "ex" (-although dear, he richly deserves a kick in the bal** from some other woman down the road of life...he's a bonafide jerk) Take care... Grace
2016-05-21 14:22:17 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, it is ok for you to love him forever ,and him you. But, there are relationships that just can't be. This is one of them.
Do you want your child beaten or you beaten to a pulp and you can't take care of the baby? This sort of violence escalates through out the years. Can you let this happen to you? This man can be the most charming, loving man on the planet...but he is mentally ill. He's ups & downs will be so difficult. It seems his ups are so wonderful that you adore him.
But, it is not normal. Please call a woman's shelter asap
Please Please Please get out of this relationship before it takes your life or your babys life.
Get help NOW. You need to talk to some women who have been in the same situation and got out of it. Look up support groups in your area. If you haven't gotten out by the next time he hits you....dial 911. And gosh ,,,think of this...next time he hits you in the car it could cause a bad accident and not only kill you but a family...mother father children. Can you live with that?
2007-09-10 16:21:53 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now what do you think? Honestly? You know this is wrong. Lemme ask you this: would you hit someone you love just 'cause you're mad? Not just once, but repeatedly? My guess is no.
The behavior you're exhibiting is not only wrong, it's abnormal, and unnatural, and NOT love. I don't care what you say, there's not real love there. Because to be truly in love with someone, it means you respect them. Everything about them. And that respect doesn't include harm.
People make mistakes out of anger, but it's not repetitive, and it's certainly not habit.
You know you're not going to get much sympathy out of people on here, and I'm pretty sure you know what he's doing is wrong. But it's up to you whether or not you leave. We can't make you. No one can. It's going to be up to you to see that you can not continue this vicious cycle by convincing him, or even more yourself, that this is okay.
It's not.
Leave him.
Do it by any means necessary.
Good luck.
2007-09-10 15:09:12 · answer #5 · answered by Impavidsoul 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is wrong. No man should hit any woman. My advice, would be to seek some counseling for the both of you. Also, if that doesnt work out, then leave him for someone who will respect you and not raise a hand at you. You deserve someone better, I think.
How does he treat his mom?
You guys do not need to bring a child in the world together. He may take his anger out on the baby.
I wish you the best. God bless+0.
2007-09-10 14:39:13 · answer #6 · answered by michaellandonsmommy 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Is this wrong? You have got to be joking! What woman wants to bleed, be bruised, be hit, punched, grabbed, are you a masochists? If he does this to you now, do you realize what he will do to you once you are married? You are making excuses for him dear, and accepting his problems as your own. You don't own his bipolar moods, even though I truly believe he has far more issues than bipolar. I would avoid him until you feel it is safe to sit next to him, let alone drive with him. Other wise, you are on a death mission.
2007-09-10 14:48:43 · answer #7 · answered by Nancy S 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes its wrong that your fiance hits you. I understand that he loves you and you love him but you also need to realize that he is HURTING you. You should not have to live with bruises or the fear that he'll hit you while you're driving and ya'll die. You all just have to try as many different docs and medicines that you have to so he can control himself. And dear...if you see an angry man go in the other direction.
2007-09-10 14:47:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to be his punching bag? Do you want future children to be his punching bag? I'm sure the answer is no. I'm sorry he's sick, but you shouldn't have to put up with this kind of violence. Get away from him. If some time in the future he does finally find a medication that works for him, you may be able to get back with him, but if you stay with him the way he is now, he may end up killing you.
2007-09-10 14:42:38 · answer #9 · answered by mocha5isfree 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is very wrong.
Bi-polar or not. Very very wrong.
Don't marry this man. You will be in for worse.
I say get out now. Seek professional help, and when he hits you again (Note: I said WHEN not if, because he will hit again) Call the police.
I was in an abusive relationship, and I didn't call the police, looking back, I wish I would've.
He would hit me while I was driving, pull my hair while I was driving.
Violence is NEVER NEVER ok.
You deserve better.
2007-09-10 15:11:43 · answer #10 · answered by Sumie 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋