The immaturity of adulthood?

Question

I was watching the movie Pay It Forward last night and it got me thinking. Why is it that we as adults are able to dream, to envisage a higher virtue but are unable to follow through? Why are we able to have visions of higher virtues but are unable to attain them? Is this not just another form of immaturity, one experienced in adulthood rather than childhood?

We believe that when we 'grow up' that we have attained a form of maturity, we have gained as if by magic a form of being that allows us to be better than we were in childhood. However if we walk by a homeless person without even a thought, if we do nothing in times of tyrants and bullies, if we look only for our own interests are we not just as immature as children? Are we not just as given to hoarding our own and 'picking up our ball and going home' when things do not go our own way?

Is not the maturity of adulthood just a comfortable lie that we tell ourselves because we do not wish to see the truth, a sign of immaturity in itself?

So my question is, given that we are who we are and the we are what we are, are we not just as immature as when we were children, is maturity not gain through sacrifice and hard times and not given freely by age? And therefore cannot a child who has experienced more than an adult be more mature? If this is true why do we lie to ourselves?

Please explain your reasoning.

Thanks.

Answer 1

I think that regardless of their childhood experiences, a lot of adults are disappointed with life as it is. There is also a loss of innocence, a tendency to overthink things, and a mentality that refuses to really dream. To go with one of your examples, the child might be more than happy to run over to the homeless guy with a $20, but the adult will think "Where's he gonna spend it? If I get too close will he grab me?" and so on, until the opportunity to help has literally passed them by. Who's the immature one? You could debate either side. We also justify looking out for our best interests as "taking care of the family" (which isn't a bad thing at all), "being responsible", and other such things that really sound good but can be a cover for not wanting to take chances. Life is for living, not waiting to die.
Yes, there are MANY cases where a child can be more mature than an adult. We lie to ourselves because we can. We create a circular argument -- "I know better because I'm more mature, and I'm more mature because I know better." This is a great question. (I've seen a few tonight -- do intelligent people only come out on Mondays?)

Answer 2

The idea that maturity and age are connected must be flawed. First look at what maturity is. The ability to make decisions and act on them. However, as you rightly say, many people do not act at all when something they know is wrong is before them. In our defence adults have also learned the cynicism that accompanies growing in this world. When you see people who misuse the altruism of others it makes it more difficult for all but the most persevering to continue being as giving and open.
As adults, we have also learned inhibition. Young children have the openness and sense of immortality that few adults can sustain. It doesn't make an adult less mature though.
I think you misrepresent maturity as being altruism. The two are not connected in my opinion. But I do agree that if more adults could hold onto a part of our inner child the world would indeed be a better place.
I like your question, thanks for asking.

Answer 3

I entirely agree with you on this last say - a children might have more maturity than an adult, because was pushed and answered accordingly, being much younger in age.
A second yes= maturity is gained, also through sacrifice and hard times - the other big ingredient, comes on learning to know ourselves also in party time, choosing the real happy ones that last, and learning how much important it is to get it, the simplicity of our own heart, while we were children.
In other words, we need to give importance to our childish pure joy, if we reach maturity.

Answer 4

As children, we got excused for our 'slip-ups'; Got exempted from total culpability. We had reasons enough to 'act as children' - with all our innocence and carefree approach to everything around us. We were pure in our manner of dealings;..even in the midst of our games.

Maturity is not of age. Many adults still curl up in wombs of immature thinking and childish reasoning. The reason why they file up unfinished tasks and overdue resentments on their present racks. Adults can be as irresponsibly worse than children. Fully grown to know the right and wrong; Experienced to function at self-will; Equipped with enough resources, and yet choose to go drifting by - without a cause. Most likely, they lack a sensible backbone to handle situations that require sensitivity and openness to errors. So they prefer to retreat to their trivial habitat where they feel secured in their petty way. This may owe back to the way they might have been brought up; all the bleak tolerance and intolerance within their own backyards. The examples demonstrated as years passed by.

Meanwhile, lots of people express maturity at a very young age. They get tactful and resourceful and reasonably functional. They set goals and follow them through thick and thin. Take that wisdom of being responsible to establish a meaningful and productive life.

Answer 5

I purely grew to become 25 final week and definite i'm nevertheless freaking out. I even have an excellent occupation yet its so stressful to think approximately myself 25! Do i glance the comparable as I did while i substitute into 24? of direction, yet i'm in an entire new ballgame. i've got self assurance too previous to fairly pass "clubbing" or do the idiotic issues I as quickly as did. Its beginning up to bypass now after a week and that i understand I even have each thing going for me so i will in user-friendly terms see positives. i'm no longer regarded at as "a dumb newborn" using fact as quickly as human beings hit 25 they're extra matured interior the eyes of others. seems such as you have your existence lined up. purely have some cocktails and get a babysitter. Have a large time :) chuffed early birthday :)

Answer 6

If you make one modification in your posting, we can see that "but are unwilling to follow through" or "but are unwilling to attain them" are largely the source of the observation that you have.

Personally, I am at odds with many of the West's "virtues", so expecting me or questioning me would be quite futile around this issue.

I would disagree that Western virtues are a sign of maturity -- they are not. As a biracial and bicultural person, the West has ONE view of what are considered virtues.

I also dispute your notion of maturity. Sacrifice and hard times are not essential to maturity. Rather the mature individual can avoid these things. A strong thinker can avoid having to make sacrifices by changing their thoughts and beliefs about these things. Suffering does not make one mature, it only makes one bitter.

Adulthood can range from age 18 to 100. A physical period of time is different than maturity.

Answer 7

More people need to play fair....see purely and BE good!

and yes....it takes the openness of a child to be able to forgive and forget...move on or see beauty.......

Children are already as wise as the adult they become will ever be......

once an adult accepts this......heaven is open to them on earth!


I personally got back to the simple way I looked at the world when I was a child....BEST THING I EVER COULD HAVE DONE.......


I'll say it again: seeing with child's eyes allows an adult the HUMILITY to be REAL!!!!!!

Answer 8

Ouch.Stop talking in circles. Ever been told you take a long time to say something?

My answer: I don't feel we are just immature adults by your thinking. We dream, we aim for it, we make it or we fail. What makes us mature is we can't go running back to mom or dad to deflect the full force of the consequences for us, we learn from our errors, and we are able to apply those lessons to other areas of our lives.

Answer 9

Thinking of something as 'mature' is a problem in itself. Of course adults are ignorant and can be worse than children, even those that have experienced more profound things.

Answer 10

I agree, maturity isn't free.

I once read,
"Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated."
~Anonymous~