what do u think about relations between buys & girls now?what are the limits for that relation?do you believe in frienship between them?i mean any kind of relation(college,work,neighbour hood,internet,chatting,yahoo answers)
do you accept to marry a man/woman that had a past frienship with another gender?
2007-09-10 12:44:48 · 17 answers · asked by Abdullah 2 in Travel ➔ Africa & Middle East ➔ Egypt
is it okay that guys and girls sit together talking about anything?is it okay that they go out together even in groups?if u were a father/mother would u accept a girl/boy to call your son/doughter and say that we are friends?
2007-09-11 06:13:05 · update #1
@hope:
i agree with you,i dont mean not to talk to girls,i now i chould talk and have conversations with other gender but in important thing related to work,study(if there is now boy could help me instead)?but is is okay what we see 2day girls sitting with boys laughing playing touching,...etc?i think what is called 2day friendship in that way is totally 7aram.
2007-09-11 06:16:42 · update #2
Salamou Aleikoum Abdallah,
El Sheikh EL Sha3rawey, (Allah Yerhamou) once said " that when u do something that u try hard to hide from others then u know u are doing a mistake", i try to live by what he said coz when u think about it, he spoke the truth, people always hide their bad deeds from humans as if Allah(swt), who is more important can't see them.
Now to really answer yr question we have to think about the following, there will always be a relationship between opposite gender, i mean u r bound to meet girls, in school, in the street, at college, at work. Will u live yr life avoiding them and not talking to them, afraid to make a mistake of any sort in yr relationship......... It is not possible!!!!
Take it from me, an older person, u can live yr life very happily knowing that Allah (swt) is pleased with u, provided u keep him in yr mind and soul and thus in yr action.
This in turn means it is ok to talk and interact with the opposite gender within boundaries of decency and good manners. We should treat each other as brothers and sisters and not offend them in any manner. And if u don't know where to draw the line in yr relationship then remember El SHa3rawy's saying.
It may happen that yr relationship might develop further to let's say admiration or love, then it is up to u and yr partner to cherish this relationship and keep it clean in words and deeds that might ruin yr future together.
As for the last part of yr question marrying a woman or man with a past friendship, i am sooooo sorry but u have put it so loosely here when u said "friendship", there is nothing absolutely wrong with marrying them coz they have done no bad deed., a friend is the best thing in this world, sometimes even closer to than yr family. (i think u meant something more than friendship? i don't know? in that case u should be the judge of that, no one else can influence this decision.
Hope i have helped in any way.
edit: I just saw yr explanation: Definitely, there is nothing right about being loose with our colleges and friends and to me touching and fooling around is not only indecent but also haram.
Abduellah, u can't control people's way of thinking or their way of acting but u can only control yourself, and that is what i do. If i find myself in a situation that i am not comfortable with what is going on around me, i leave. I have seen many people acting "free" and never liked it, i just stick to my beliefs and do what is right for me, "no double standards".
Going back to yr question, "will u act the same way with yr female colleagues and friends if given a chance?" the correct answer would be NO. So problem solved go about treating them like sisters and respectable human beings and have Allah in yr mind and u cannot go wrong.
Salam
2007-09-10 22:09:44 · answer #1 · answered by Hope 6 · 11⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion you are right,i mean all girls now are spending time with boys,some of them have sex and some smoke 7ashish together and they call it friendship.And this is a negative point.But there are also advantages.I have many boys as friends and i also have a boyfriend.So i like talking to them about everything even my relation with my boyfriend,because they are boys and they know how boys think.So when i and my boyfriend have a quarrel or a fight i talk to these boys and they advise me and then everything gets better.If i was a mother and i had a son or a daughter and if any of them has a friend or a boy/girlfriend i would allow them to talk to them and see them and go out with them but first i have to get to know them better so that nothing happens to my children.I think that i would agree to marry a man who had a past friendship because everyone has to experience this relation and it isn't wrong to have friends wether girls or boys.But make sure they are good people.I do believe in friendship between girls and boys.And sure if they are friends only they will know their limits.No touching,kissing,sleeping,talking about sex or dirty stuff.They just can go to a movie,have dinner,talk about their problems,have disscussions and advise each other,chatting and their girl/boyfriend has to know about it so that when they discover,they dont think that you were cheating on him/her and dump you.I see that you are having a problem with your friendship,if you really need to talk about it just send me an email i'll advise and help you because i've experienced all this before and i know alot about these stuff.
2007-09-13 00:58:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship between a boy and a girl should have limits. I used to have a lot of male friends and they were like my best friends but now that I'm married and a little older I'm like what was I doing? However, to me, I saw no difference between my male and female friends and treated them both in a similar way. After marriage, Eastern or muslim men in general do not accept their wives to have friendships with men, and women refuse for their husband to have friendships with women. so what does that tell u? it tells u its not the the right thing in the first place. I'm not against having a business relationship, family friendship, or a yahoo answers friendship with the other gender. Here on YA we are all brothers and sisters and we discuss important issues and share knowledge.
In answering ur last q, yes I accept to marry a man who had a past friendship with the other gender. Not only did my husband have friendship with other females, but he was engaged before, and also fell in love with another girl when he was younger. I'm not saying it is very ok or that he was right, but I'm saying it's all in the past and everyone makes mistakes but we should always be understanding and forgiving. I hope males would think the same when it comes to females having previous relationships. but unfortunately, although some men allow themselves to do whatever they desire before marriage, when it comes to them marrying, they choose to marry a girl who have not had any kind of friendship/relationship with men. Why? Is that fair? Is it halal for him and haram for her? I just hate it when guys do that. why they say I'm a guy, she's a girl. YES? SO? AND THE POINT IS?
To Allah (swt) a good deed is a good deed and a sin is a sin regardless of who commits it, a male or a female....
2007-09-10 23:03:58 · answer #3 · answered by Ruby 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
that you have a friend is not the meaning that you are bad or good
People can gave friends. A friend is someone you can trust, you share, you care and it doesn't matter if it is a friend from college, work, neighborhood, internet or another place.
A friend is a friend, you accept your friends with virtues and defects.
By saying that you have a friend, that doesn't mean that you are having sex with someone.
Where is the problem of having friends? Nowhere!!!!
Friendship is something very valuable and true friends could be counted with your fingers and still you will have empty fingers. You are there for your friend and your friend is there for you. If your friends are happy you are happy. If your friends are sad you will be there to share your shoulder for him or her to cry. Friends are there for you in good times and bad and you can always count on them.
When you have a friend you have to be concious that your friend is unique, that he or she needs his space because he is individual.
Of course there are limits in friendship, because if your friend says that he is going to jump from a bridge you are not going to follow him for sure. Because you have your opinion and he has to respect that. Most than being a limit I will say it is a right for both sides RESPECT EACH OTHER.
Why not accepting someone who had a friend in the past? As I told you before having friends doesn't mean that you are having sex with them.
And for those who had sex with friends.... well, I can't judge them because I am not God, and only God can judge them.
In my case, I can tell you that I would prefer to marry someone who doesn't have a past with another woman.
2007-09-10 13:22:09 · answer #4 · answered by ஜ☆§weet Angel☆ஜ 5 · 10⤊ 1⤋
yeah ofcourse boys and girls can be friends with a limit and with alah too ofcourse
i'm really not adapted on that cuz my school is girls only but my point is y not if it's a friendship not growing than that
2007-09-10 23:44:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
an advice from me, don't ever look behind your back, don't think about the past, the dead yesterdays, if u know a person who had a bad past but he/she truned to be a good person, then u should think only about today and the futur, cuz if the past got you, then u wont last for long...
about the relations between a man and a woman, it should have limits as we're muslims and we're egyptians and we have traditions that we must respect....
but i see now that a relation between a guy and a girl had exceeded the limits and everything is possible now between them...i donno wt's the reason behind this trend, but all i know that we should fear god n put our traditions n the society we live in in our considerations...
a relation between a man and a woman should have RESPECT and LOVE....in my opinion...
2007-09-11 00:20:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Asalam alaikum, the problem with friendship between boys and girls, is that one almost always wants more. The girl may be mentally attracted to the boy, the boy, especially teenage or early 20's may easily develop physical attraction to the girl. then the friendship is not really real anymore, as boys will say anything they think a pretty girl wants to hear, and girls will try too hard to look pretty to a boy they like......No it doesnt mean they will do something physically bad, BUT something physically bad almost always starts out innocent then progresses to worse and worse....Its not worth it....remember anytime a man and woman (or boy and girl) are alone together, the shaiytan is the 3rd. Allah knows best....salaaams
2007-09-10 15:25:07 · answer #7 · answered by Adam 6 · 6⤊ 4⤋
Woman want the same basic things from a man that a man wants. Honesty, support, friendship and snuggles.
2016-04-04 01:00:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its ok with me
my best friend is a boy and we r like a sister n brother with limits for sure
dayman bene3mel 7esab Rabena
2007-09-10 13:02:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Boy & girls....Men & women all the same. If you know your limits and are willing to stick to them anyone can be JUST FRIENDS!
nfd♥
2007-09-11 02:22:56 · answer #10 · answered by fishineasy™ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋