I am 18 and have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and I want to marry him and he wants to marry me. But nothing yet. When we first went out we knew that we wanted to get married and now he says it but tells me it takes time and i know it does but everyone around us is getting engaged and married. i hate it. i guess i am jealous of what i dont have and i hate seeing people around us having it all. his cousins are in their 20s and they are either married already or engaged and i dont understand why they have it and i dont. what makes them more special then me. i know this sounds selfish and everything. i just love my boyfriend very much and would love to marry him. i just dont get why everyone around us is doing it and we arent. he told me he doesnt want me to settle for a cheap wedding or lousy wedding ring. which is amazing. i am just starting to think the wedding isnt coming anytime soon.
why do some people get married at age 17 and others have to wait til age 35??
2007-09-10 11:56:51 · 17 answers · asked by litlmizbeautiful 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sorry guys, i didnt tell you.
my bf is 22. he will be 23 in Feb.
2007-09-10 12:22:35 · update #1
Nobody has to wait until they're 35, they chose to wait until they're in their 30's because they're mature, they have established a good job, they're experienced life and know what they want so their chances of getting divorce have greatly diminished because they're not children.
If you love your bf then why are you in such a rush to get married? Do you think he's going to run away and find someone else? Trust me, the chances are greater of him feeling like he missed out on his life if he gets married this young then if you wait alittle while.
Enjoy your time together and don't rush into something that should last a lifetime.
2007-09-10 12:07:11 · answer #1 · answered by LAL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be jealous of what people have. Marriage is not something to take lightly especially in this day and age when everyone gets married for whatever reasons and then a few years later they are divorcing. At 18 you have barely begun to start to live your life and getting married changes it completely. You are not as free to go out with friends, you now have rent and bills, you have to make time for your spouse and family, you have obligations you take on once married. It is not all you may think it is cracked up to be...it is hard work and in the end it is great if you worked at it hard enough. Too many use it as a crutch of some kind when it should be about committment and the other person you are involved with.
People at 17 should not be getting married really. But if that is the choice they make then that is their life. Some actually wait until 35 out of choice because of careers or other reasons. It is not always the happy ever after ending you think it is.
And when great grandparents were getting married it was back in the 1900's not in the present time...back then life span was not what it is now for a lot of people did not live long lives like we do now. Also the kids then were raised with more responsiblity than the kids have now...they knew how to handle a family because most likely they had to help with the younger sibs that were in their families...and such...take a look at the show Little House on the Prairie....that should give you and indication of how it was back then....Laura was a teacher by the time she was 16 so of course marriage would follow shortly after that...she had grown up by then...can you say that of 16 year olds now?
2007-09-10 12:11:37 · answer #2 · answered by taljalea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're too young, espescially if either of you plan on attending college. Don't get me wrong, I do believe some young people can fall in love, but at your age you're still growing as a person. So long as you're both together, it might be ok, because you might grow together, but if you face any type of physical seperation then much of what you are as individuals might change, and that will change your relationship.
I speak from experience. I was first proposed to when I was 15, and I loved the boy dearly. We kept it all through the two years of being at school together, and even for an entire year of being seperated by 1800 miles. In the end though, it was too much. He had become a different person, and while he would never have broken his promise to me, I didn't want him to marry me just because he'd promised to. I don't want you to fact the same situation.
Wait until your lives are more sedate, when your paths are chosen. If you're really meant to be, then you'll be "meant to be" to or three years from now as much as this instant. Enjoy the courtship!
2007-09-10 12:07:44 · answer #3 · answered by littleJaina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the rest of your life to be married if you do get married so don't rush into it so soon and so young. Things change after a couple gets married. I have known couples who get married at a young age and they are now divorced. My first marriage I was married at almost 25 and stayed married for 25 years and it ended in divorce. I was sorry that I had ever married. My first husband did not settle down and left me home a lot to raise 3 children on my own. I got divorced after my children were grown and on their own. I had thought that my marriage would work out but I found out that I was wrong. Do not be in a hurry to get married.
2007-09-10 12:14:16 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 35 they haven't found the right one or it could be their lover had left them and they'll having a hard time moving on....
At 17....sure anyone wants to get married....but it's going to be tough....maybe your BF wants the best for you...he wants you to have everything perfect and beautiful....
I was married at the age of 18...i mean it was the hardest thing in my life....we hardly had any money....we hardly had any food, and my wedding wasn't what i wanted....i cry most of the time because we were so poor....so poor we didn't even have a sofa...and my parents had to buy us a bed...and being married means you need to show others that you don't need their help....even though you will...but i think your BF wants what's best for you....
also, ask your BF's cousin see how they'll doing....also, how old is your BF....if he's the same age has you...you really got to think if you two could support eachother...but being marry is up to you and him...
2007-09-10 12:13:02 · answer #5 · answered by thisone_lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because the ones who wait until they are 35 (which you don't have to wait that long) probably went to school, have degrees and good jobs and financially don't have to worry about anything...there is no rush, go travel with your boyfriend etc...wait till you turn 21 and go to casinos etc...there is no rush to have a baby that young either...you still have a lot of learning and exploring to do at a young age...go out and enjoy life and when you are mid 20s or so and financially able to have an awesome wedding with the rings etc...than go for it...
the fact that your bf is 22 I would hope he already graduated from college and would want you to do the same...after you have your degree is a perfect time to get married...
2007-09-10 12:04:26 · answer #6 · answered by poker_fan_in_nyc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't "bad" to get married at 18....just not a wise decision to make. Having a successful marriage takes a tremendous amount of work and commitment. You say that a lot of people your age are getting married....Do you actually believe that ALL of them are going to stay happily married? If you really love your boyfriend and he loves you...then you will love him in 5 years. You are a bit impatient my dear.....I have a son that will be 19 next month....and settling down with someone right now is the furthest thing from his mind...he has a lot of wild oats to sow yet!
2007-09-10 12:06:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eighteen is way too young. If you love each other that much now think how much better it will be in the future. Go to college or a trade school, have fun before you settle down to married life. Children come soon enough, don't rush it.
2007-09-10 12:05:01 · answer #8 · answered by ticonderoga1186 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DOn't rush into marriage hun just because other ppl have it and you don't. He'll never treat you the same after it. The first month is great, don't get me wrong, but there's a whole morphing period you have to get through. (The first year is always the roughest) and my hubby is only barely starting to treat me kinda the same when we were dating. When you get married everything changes. Your feelings change, your lifestyle, 18 is young, and you can do whatever you want still. (and still have your parents pay for it if you work it right. hehe) So just enjoy what you have while you can.
2007-09-10 12:02:51 · answer #9 · answered by justkiddingu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people get married at 17 because they want to be like all the other pretty, happy girls. Others wait till they are 35 because they are not as pretty, but they are smart.
All those pretty, happy girls are on their way to divorce court right about now.
All those not as pretty, smart girls are planning the wedding of their dreams right now and are going to live happily ever after.
2007-09-10 13:25:47 · answer #10 · answered by SweetGGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋