How can I tell if she's Gay too?

Question

I'm a 25 yr-old lesbian, I see this girl every week when I go shopping, she works there and it seems that we are always looking at eachother. Like I'll glance over and find she was already staring at me. We've talked a few times and last week I managed to pluck up the courage to actually have a bit of a conversation with her but that's it! There is more than one problem involved. I really like her but 1. I don't know if she's gay or not and 2. I don't know how old she is. It's really hard to tell, I kind of feel like atleast if I knew how old she was then I'd know if it was okay to like her.

How do I go about finding out instead of only getting as far as a quick hello and almost an hour of us staring at eachother once a week? I'd really like to get to know her.
I know somehow I have to ask but how do I do that without just coming out with it? How would you phrase it or go about it?

No stupid answers please, this is a serious question, I really don't know what to do.

Yes, 2 to 3 years younger would be fine, but I think I'd just feel wrong if it was any more than that.

Answer 1

The only way to find out if someone is gay is to ask them. There are no signs that will help you. If she wants you to know her sexuality, she will tell you. If she doesn't, she won't. She might be gay but you might not be her type.

Ask her. If she says "yes" ask her out. If she says "no" leave it at that.

Answer 2

First off doesn't it feel nice to have a sought of crush?? I think you can safely assume she has some sought of interest in you based on her staring. Can you visit the store a little more often?
Sometimes getting what you want requires a little more risk. Make your goal to talk to her every time you go in... That will accomplish 2 goals.
One is getting to know her better and perhaps finding out her age. Asking ones age is not a mortal crime ... carefully worded it can be a innoceent enough question. I am not a fan of making crap up but you did ask how" I "would phase it... Here goes : I would make an extra trip into the store and pick up a box of cake mix and frosting. I would make a quick stop by her to chat and I would say I just stopped in cause it's my friends birthday... she's going to be 25 ! I would then laugh and joke a little about how you and the friend are getting old I would then ask her hey how old are you? I would compliment her and say oh you look younger / good whatever ... Keep it fun and light and fast !
Two if she is interested in you the extra time you spend trying to talk to her will be welcomed. However if she suddenly darts when you visit the store you will at least have a better idea if she likes you.
It may take many visits before you feel real comfortable or you may know sooner. Either way day dreaming about her gets you nothing!

Answer 3

Nxt time you meet, casually ask her to help u find some stuff, then go "oh, hey, we've spoken before?" & start fr there. Talk abt anything you like...bt NO sexuality/ romantic stuff pls. Subtlety's the key here- you wouldn't want to scare yr flower into closing her petals =p

A good start wld be" hmm...i see you often, have you been working here for a long time? Do you live nearby?"...you get the picture. Then, take the opportunity to arrange for a lunch or coffee date, preferably on-the-spot, or if you can't, buy her something & hand it to her the next time you are there.
Oh, & don't forget- gt her contact no. too ^-*
Then maybe once you both are more familiar with each other after several dates, you can bring up topics relating to relationships & suss out if she really likes girls.

Tip: Be as natural as possible; I'm sure you wld not like her to think of you as over-eager/ sex-hungry/ desperate. Relax yr mind-as soon as you accomplish this, words & actions will unfold in a very graceful fashion, which definately increases the pique of interest in yr lovely lady's eyes ^-*

Answer 4

There are a couple of ways to go about this. One way would be to buy a piece of jewelry that displays gay pride...I wear a rainbow ring to work and when I'm handing customers their change, they almost always take a look at it. A rainbow neckleace while wearing a v-cut shirt would be more noticeable. If she were to see this, she might feel more apt to make a move (since she's probably feeling the same way you are...totally unsure of whether you're a lesbian or not!)

Since the both of you have been making eye contact and have now engaged in conversation, asking her to hang out with you should now be acceptable. If there's an event coming up, like a good movie or concert, or something else...you can buy two tickets...then tell her...hey, my friend from out of town never made it in and I already got these tickets to so-and-so show, you wanna come? That way you can get her phone number. Once y'all just hang out as friends, you might be able to easier access whether she is also a lesbian. From what you've said, I think she is. As a lesbian myself I am always on the lookout for girls who make eye contact with me and smile.

As for the age thing...well that's a personal matter. You already seem attracted to her so age shouldn't matter unless she's under the legal age limit...18 I think it is? I tend to like girls who are at least drinking age so you can go out to more places...but like I said before, that's a personal judgement...and one that can be made after the first time you hang out.

Good luck!!

Answer 5

First off, I don't see age as that much of a problem - love is what matters. My partner is 8 and a half years older than me, and her Sister, who is also gay, is going out with a girl 14 years younger than her. So please don't worry about age....
As for finding out her sexuality, you can only really do that by talking to her. Talk to her when you're in the store, try to get to know her a bit, let her see that you're a nice girl, then maybe after you've talked a few times, suggest the two of you meet up for coffee sometime.... If she accepts, maybe drop a few hints that you're interested in her, and if she responds favourably then take it from there, if not then hopefully you can still maintain a friendship with her....
Good luck!

Answer 6

What is this the 1830's? For goodness sake just ask her if she'd like to grab a cup of coffee with you, the worst she can do is say no. As for her age, you can make an estimate depending what kind of store it is. Wherever she works she probably has to be over 16 because of state and local laws.

Answer 7

I'll keep this short as most of it has already been covered. Talk to her, don't rush it, keep it polite no sexual topics but maybe some innuendo, just a little, watch her eyes when she talks to you, do they hold your gaze, do they look at your mouth/lips or does she move her eyes around nervously? The more you get to know her the more you will get to know about her. Ask her where she drinks, mention some gay bars if you feel your relationship is progressing. Suggest coffee. If you get a coffee date then ask her about herself, her likes and dislikes, see if she asks you questions about yourself, dead give away she's at least interested. Ask her who she thinks is hot, filmstars and the like if she drops a female star's name in there you could always ask if she likes girls. Just remember to be yourself and don't rush in. Time will tell. Trust me, I know..*winks* Lo xxx

Answer 8

Each time you go there, spend a little longer time at the shop where she works but not too long. Remember she is working. Ask how long she has been working there, where is she from ....anything pleasent and relevant to carry on the conversation. And ask the question, " I hope you dont mind, but I really cant guess your age. You look great".

Answer 9

I have been in this situation. If you know of a gay/lesbian bar or club in your town, ask her if she has ever been to the place? Say she looks kinda familier, then if she has been to the bar, you could proceed further. Like asking her to join you sometime for a coke, or whatever.
Also..... if she has been to the bar, she is probably old enough to drink, that would give you an idea of her age.

Answer 10

Ask her how old one would have to be in order to work at her job (pretend like you're interested in applying. ) Then, you can get an idea of how old she is, and if you actually say you want to apply, see how she reacts (like if she gets excited or if her eyes sparkle) at the thought of you two working together and seeing each other more often. And write her a compliment (like for employee of the month) expressing how nice she was and how well she treats her customers.

Answer 11

Unless you have a big wart on your nose....if she's staring at you that much, there must be an interest. Go over and say hello, make conversation and see where that leads.... She has to be at least 18 to work a full time job...so that's a start.

Good luck!