Ok, last year I lost my job when I was almost 7 months pregnant (in September)and did not start working again til January. I had little income except from disability and child support (from daughter's dad..)
Well I was married to my husband in November and he took over finances. It was great at first because it took the stress off me. I "borrowed" money from him to pay back my old rent (for my mom's house) and some late bills. I then paid him back with my income tax refund in January.
Okay now I have been working for 8 months and paid everything fine, nothing late..it's all good. The problem? He is still handling my money and refuses to give me a dime! If I want something, he will pay for it (sometimes grudgingly..) and he is the ultimate decider on what I get. I don't buy much..just things here and there that are necessary. He says I am a disaster with money..but I work full time and he refuses to allow me access to ANY of it..not even $2!
2007-09-10 10:36:17 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
So, guys..do you agree with him or me? I told him I just need cash here and there for emergency, but he refuses. I told him I was going to open a seperate account and he got REALLY mad. I am not bad with money, just I had an emergency last year. He claims I will "lose it"..which is not true! He says he pays my car insurance and gas and that's all I need, nothing more. I am desperate at this point, and not sure what to do.
2007-09-10 10:38:15 · update #1
I do not believe you saying it....
You two seem to be such nice combination.
Sorry No experience here.....
My wife is a working lady, a teacher, and till date we have never known who is spending what and when. What I earn I give it to her and more often I get her salary from the bank. All the household, children fees, her bills and mine and what ever she needs I get it and if she has to spend some thing none of us is bothered....
I am at a loss as what to say to you.
2007-09-10 20:06:39 · answer #1 · answered by bakhan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I pay the bills because I'm better with finances .....but my wife has a debit card and a check book and I give her cash to make it easy......That's true a wife with children may need cash.
No one wants to feel like a child now-a-days asking for some of their own money. Its like being married to the Gov't.
2007-09-10 12:06:11 · answer #2 · answered by Ronatnyu 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Every adult needs to have some cash to be able to have on hand. A debit/ATM card also does the trick. His behavior scares me a little. It sounds very controlling. Show him your records from when you were sick and ask him to do the math, money can not come from thin air and sometimes it takes a while to get over a hard financial time. I really hope he'll listen. Good luck and please be careful.
2007-09-10 10:49:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just because you're married to the man doesn't mean he should have total control of the finances (especially money YOU earn). Make this clear to him that this is money YOU made, not him. Put only enough in the account for expenses and savings and hold onto the rest for yourself.
YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON- ONE IDENTITY! Never let anyone control you or what is yours.
2007-09-10 10:44:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Please tell me you didn't give this control freak power of attorney over you in any way, shape or form. Domestic disasters start just like this. If he's dictating your every move as well, please consider keeping a women's shelter hotline number and a getaway bag stashed somewhere that he'll never find it.
I'm not trying to be an alarmist. Just seen this deal too many times before.
2007-09-10 10:50:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
WTF? How does your husband have access to your paycheck? Have you ever thought of opening your own bank account? Have you ever heard of direct deposit? Your husband has no right not to "allow you access" to your own money from your own job. There is NO WAY he should be able to stop you from spending your own money. Open your own bank account and deposit your own paycheck in it, and do not give him access to your account. Pay for your own gas and car insurance. If he gets mad, then pack up your kid and move out. Marriage does not give anyone the right to control you.
2007-09-10 10:49:39 · answer #6 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you earn some of the money you should have access to some of the money without having to crawl and beg your husband for it....you should be able to buy things when you want.
The problem here is he doesn't trust you and want to have control over you.
2007-09-10 10:42:34 · answer #7 · answered by akire74 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If you expect your relationship to go anywhere, you are going to fart and poop with him around. May as well get it out of the way so you can concentrate on the other aspects of your relationship.
2016-04-04 00:49:18 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to permanently decide. Lay it on the line. Separate money and financial responsibilities,or separate households.
2007-09-10 10:41:43 · answer #9 · answered by Galahad 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You should be in control over your finances
2007-09-10 10:41:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋