1 Diamond Eyes
Diamond eyes, diamond eyes
Stars in your eyes
Speck the velvet of the skies
Spark the velveteen skies.
Blushing dyes, scarlet dyes,
Ink the lips that softly cry
Out the words that shuddering, die
When you part your lips, to sigh.
Diamond eyes, diamond eyes
Tears in your eyes
Dew the velvet of the skies
Wet the velveteen skies.
2 The Mirror
A shattered dusty mirror
Watches from the wall
It offers not a comment
But reflects upon the hall
The mother sighs and asks,
Mirror have they grown?
The mirror tells her that it sees
No face but her own.
The child smiles and asks
Mirror have I grown?
The mirror replies it can know
Nothing that but that's known.
It envies the living there
Who walk around the hall
The shattered dusty mirror
That watches from the wall.
2007-09-10 10:28:19 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
The second is definitely better than the first, though not much. What were you on when you wrote the first? It doesn't seem like these were written by the same person. Just an observation.
2007-09-10 10:37:56 · answer #1 · answered by Sean M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both are quite good! I like that you are able to stay with the same topic throughout each piece. There is no ambiguity as to what each poem is about.
2007-09-10 10:44:40 · answer #2 · answered by livemoreamply 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Beautiful (especially the second one)! Do you have any other poems?
2007-09-10 10:44:03 · answer #3 · answered by eventhorizen 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
those are really good poems! but the first could be a little longer.
2007-09-10 10:37:15 · answer #4 · answered by ☆☃❀ ~♥~♪ tigger bitten ♪~♥~ ❀☃☆ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i like the secound one, so much essense
2007-09-13 13:01:24 · answer #5 · answered by Xiana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋