How can I be a better daughter? I'm 16 and lately...?

Question

i don't know things have been messed up. i've been getting into arguments with my dad lately over stupid stuff really. and i admit my attitude hasn't been the best. my dad's been through a lot. just last year we lost my mom and newborn baby brother, not to mention, a few months after they adopted me (5 years ago), their oldest son died from leukemia. he had been sick for a while. now he's a single father trying to support me and my sibs, and sometimes i want to try to do all i can to help. other times, i go all psycho-maniac and i can't help but think i'm being more of a burden than a help to him. what can i do to be a better daughter?

Answer 1

boy this is a tough situation. as for being a better daughter, you could try to have a better attitude and you might could get a part time job?? I am 17 and I work a part-time job to help support my family. whatever you do talk to an adult you can trust, like your school's councilor, or a youth pastor(or his wife). (I know that if I ever have a problem the first one I e-mail is a godly man who works on the full time staff at a teen camp.)
just hang in there, and try to do all you can to help.

Answer 2

Tell your Dad that you love him and want to help in any way that you can. Tell him that you appreciate all he has done for you and that you understand how difficult life is for him right now.

Then, do all you possibly can to ease his burden. Do the dishes, cook dinner, clean the house, take care of the younger kids in the family. Ask your Dad what else you can do to help. Get the other kids involved. A shared burden is so much easier to carry.

You are 16 and are becoming an adult. You will clash with your Dad sometimes. Try not to let it be over stupid stuff. When you are a teenager, you're greatly influenced by hormonal fluctuations. They make you more argumentative. It's part of the process of declaring your independence. Don't let those feelings carry you away or alienate you from your father. Help each other through life, especially the hard parts.

Answer 3

It takes a mature 16 year old to be able to say what you've said and I just want to acknowledge that. You deserve recognition for that alone! I am sorry to hear that your family has had to suffer like that. It must be hard for everyone.
Sometimes teens find themselves in positions that require them to be 'the bigger person' (not to say your dad is being childish or antyhing like that). Take the high road on everything you can manage to. Getting into an argument with a parent is natural and in a lot of cases expected. What you can do is step back from the argument and ask yourself 'is this something we should be arguing about or is one of us being stubborn?' What I mean is, do you find it worth yours and your fathers energy to argue about the 'stupid stuff'? If you see something that you could help with (ie. household chores) just get up and do it without being asked. Parents will often appreciate it more when they don't have to ask that something be done. When I was 16 both my parents worked full time and I had a sister much younger than me. I took it upon myself to help with dinner and cleaning up afterwards, laundry, helping my baby sis with her homework among other things. It is a lot of responsibility but I'm sure your father just appreciates that he still has you and your sibs. Give him a hand every once in a while, tell him you love him, say goodnight to him before bed (we are never too old to do this).

I'm sure you are a fantastic daughter any way you cut it!

Answer 4

It sounds like you and your dad have gone through alot. It also sounds like you are a wonderful daughter already. You can't expect to be perfect all the time. If you sense that you have an attitude, try to be more aware of the way you are responding to your dad. Stop yourself before flying off the handle. Just try to help as much as you can, but remember the importance of being a kid too. You're 16 and deserve to have the chance to enjoy life. Sixteen is a rough age....school, boys, family, job (if you have one), hormones...and with all the other stuff you'e had to go through, I'm sure it's tough sometimes. Just hang in there and continue to love yourself, your dad, and your siblings. Don't be too hard on yourself or your dad and you'll get along just fine. Stay cool.

Answer 5

The fact that you know there is room to change is a great start! You have been through a lot in your life and are making no excuses for your bad behavior...good for you. You are not a burden. If you are doing all you can to help and not causing trouble like bad grades, drugs, sex, and are basically being a good child there is nothing more you can do. Try to understand that as stresses out as you are he is stressed too. I am sorry for what you are going through but what you do not see right now is that all of these struggles are going to make you a better, stronger, wiser adult. Hang in there. It is okay to feel the way you do and you have every right to be mad and hormonal, you are 16 it comes with the territory, just do your best in school, and make sure to take time for yourself! Good luck and God bless!

Answer 6

Man... I don't even ask myself what I can do to be a better son now. You are ahead of the game.

I suppose the easiest thing is just take care of your responsibilities. If you are on top of chores and homework that is one big stress off his mind.

And I think the best way to be a good daughter is just spend some time with him. Hang out for a ballgame or something. Not like every day but enough that he knows somebody cares about him and enjoys spending time with him.

And sometimes you are gonna go psycho. It happens. If girls didn't go psycho on occasion they wouldn't be half as interesting.

But ya give him hugs and tell him you love him. Emotional support is more valuable than anything you can do directly.

Answer 7

Honey, your behavior is not abnormal, especially after all the people in your life that you've lost.

To be a good daughter, you have to hug your dad every single day and tell him that you love him. Tell him you appreciate all he does to keep the family going. Then keep your attitude to a minimum, and try to help out any way you can. If you feel you need help because of your "psycho-maniac" outbursts, be sure you let someone know. You can't recover from your grief and be a help to your father if you are falling apart yourself.

Answer 8

I know exactly what you're going through, I am trying to get my mom's trust back at the moment. Sometimes when I'm mad or fighting, I'll go psycho-maniac, too. They ended up calling the cops on me a few times.
One thing I learned is to take a breather. When you start arguing, bite you tongue [literally, if you have to!] and count to ten.
You have to choose your battles with your dad and it's not always going to be easy. Another thing I learned is stay in your hula-hoop. This means if it doesn't have to do with you, don't get involved. You don't have to let other people into your hoop. If the fighting starts, look your dad in the eye and say "I love you, thanks for everything. I just need a minute to calm down."
This isn't as easy as it sounds, your dad might get mad that you aren't responding to him, but in the end its for the best.

Answer 9

I am so sorry for your losses. No one deserves to go through that. The first thing you need to do, is work on yourself. There are groups where you can go and talk with people who have had to deal with the same things that you have. You could also go to counseling. Second, you should talk to your dad about your feelings. Sometimes men aren't good with their feelings, but you need to let him know how you feel. Third, you should find a religious person with whom to talk. You have every right to be angry and moody, and maybe they could help you through it. Anytime you feel like your going to rage, walk away from the situation and take a few deep breaths, and maybe write in a journal.
I am proud that you are holding up, and I know that you are a stronger person than you think you are.

Answer 10

I know you're in school, but someone has got to do the laundry, so why not learn how to do the laundry, vac,dust, keep the house picked up. and try and do some cooking, you can learn easy stuff. He needs your support and understanding, he's hurting too so just let he know you are there for him.Dear, believe me you're not a burden, just try and be more understanding, [if you need help with easy cooking connect to me] GOOD LUCK.