Please do not tell me to leave him or anything of the sorts. I just need to know how I can get the truth. He is a bad liar usually, but he has told so many different answers about this, I can't tell this time. We seperated last November and 2 days later he moved in with a coworker. He said it was because he was pissed at me for not letting him come back home. He said he couldn't stand her b/c she was so annoying, he always treated her bad, was bossy, etc. When he returned home in early December he said a lot of hurtful things, but on Christmas day he told me he slept with he ronce and only once. Yesterday we had a talk and he said ya know I never did sleep with her, I only told you I did because I knew you wouldn't believe me if I said I didn't. Which is true, I mean he is a guy after all. But now I am going crazy, I need to know if he really did or not. It has been almost a year and I can't get over it, but if I can prove he really didn't I would be so very very happy.
2007-09-10 08:52:19 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am afraid he just telling me what I want to hear. How do I get the truth, only 2 people know it and I can't believe either one. I thought about asking her, but like she would tell me the truth. How can I "trick" him into telling me? I can't marry him until I know.
2007-09-10 08:53:23 · update #1
I;m so desperate I told him I'd pay for a lie detector test and he said he doesn't believe in them, but he will. I told him I would ak her and he said she would lie about it, which she has lied to me about many things.
2007-09-10 08:54:04 · update #2
just so ya'll know, we have 2 kids, and sure that isn't a great reason, but i cannot go on until i try one more time for their sake.
2007-09-10 09:04:46 · update #3
Do you know why a lot of people are going to tell you to leave him? Do you??? I bet you do.
I'd love to hear you tell this story to Dr. Phil and see what he says.
2007-09-10 08:55:52 · answer #1 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there, I'm not sure that you will believe your fiance either way!
He has obviously lied; first he slept with this other woman and then he didn't - how are you supposed to know which is true. I don't think that he's going to tell you.
I'm not going to tell you to leave him...you have to deal with the emotional and mental anguish you're probably experiencing. You're going to have trust issues and I can't say that these will ever go away...so you have to decide if you're going to stay or not.
What I will point out though is that he said he moved in with a co-worker 2 days after you two split. Why did you two split? Is that issue resolved?
Don't ask this other woman anything...you're not in a relationship with her...she is NOT the issue...your man is. He needs to be honest with you. Though you may never find out or believe the truth you have to make a decision about your relationship and if you can move past this issue and continue with him.
2007-09-10 09:06:04 · answer #2 · answered by Barbie K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are wasting your energy.
What happened is in the past.
He probably did sleep with the woman. But anyhow, how much time are you going to waste on this.
I do sympaphize and feel for you, but were you to lose him tomorrow, can you imagine that all you could remember is having pestered him about something which should not matter any more.
You need to make a decision and stick to it.
This is not fair on your children or to you either.
If you did go on with a lie detector test, what else would you have to take a lie detector test for??
What if this technology wasn't available to you?
Break that circle and live your life, who knows what tomorrow brings?
2007-09-10 09:22:44 · answer #3 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight: your man is a liar; he leaves and moves in with another woman in 2 days; he says mean and hurtful things to you; he disrespects you; you can never be sure whether or not he's telling the truth...
...And you feel that your only concern is to find out whether or not he slept with the other woman?
Of course he slept with her; and it wasn't just once, I assure you. He moved in with her for a reason, duh. But, seriously, I think there are much more pressing issues in your relationship than what happened a year ago while you guys weren't even together. Think long and hard about it. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? Good luck.
2007-09-10 09:00:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that is surely the basis for a future happy marriage...start with a lie detector test! Let's face it, there is no way you will ever find out the truth, so get on with your life. You guys are made for each other..a cheating liar, and a desperately insecure doormat are a perfect combination.
2007-09-10 09:10:31 · answer #5 · answered by ((♫♥♪♫♥♪♫ Shivers ♫♥♪♫♥♪)) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm trying to figure out why you would even think about marrying this guy... are you kidding me? And we're not supposed to tell you to kick him to the curb? He's a liar... I'm not gonna say keep him and trick him into telling you something that really doesn't even matter...
How can you find the truth? Here's the truth- you are worth more than this loser has to offer, but until you realize that, you're stuck right where you are.
best of luck to ya...
2007-09-10 09:00:27 · answer #6 · answered by EazyBreezy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"tricking" him into telling truth isn't going to be something that works for you. Why? Because whatever he says, it seems like you will never actually know if it was the truth. And if you can't trust him, then what chance do you have of trusting him to tell you the truth about anything? I would think the one thing that he wouldn't be able to lie himself out of would be to go to hypnotherapy and have him hypnotized. I think that it would be hard for him to lie that way. Now, when you suggest that to him, if he wigs out and says no way. Then yeah, he slept with her. Just remember that when someone lies to you, a lot. Chances are that they will keep lying to you.
2007-09-10 09:02:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly he is lieing!!! My ex tried to pull that too for probably about 4 years and still wouldn't addmit it to this day if I asked him. You should just tell him you already know the truth and it's pretty sad that he can't admit it. I mean seriously why would he "move into a co-workers house to make you mad" so he would go to that far just to piss you off? Not a very loving thing to do. I would rethink some things.
2007-09-10 09:02:02 · answer #8 · answered by Azgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since he is still home with you, that mean you have took him back already. regardless of the test, you are still going to keep him right? So here is a quick way to test a guy, have a party, give him a few good drink, have sex with him, and ask him the question right there. If he said no, and keep going, than he didn't, if he goes into shock, even for a second, than you know he is lying.
2007-09-10 09:01:43 · answer #9 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its the cover up and lies that hurt u not what he did. knowing the truth would not really make u happy, if your not going to split with him than u may as well leave it alone. theres always an excuse people give for cheating and doing things, but its just a cop out, without trust what do u have here?
2007-09-10 09:01:06 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real truth is that you cannot control anyone else's behaviors.
You cannot MAKE someone tell the truth, just as no one can MAKE you do anything you decided you didn't want to do.
It's a cold hard fact, but reality. Grasp the concept now that the only behaviors YOU control are your own.
Good luck.
2007-09-10 08:58:49 · answer #11 · answered by Iowan Gal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋