My relationship ended 4 months ago as he didn't want committment and said he had fallen out of love after 3 years of being as i thought so happy. Our sex life was always perfect and he always put 100percent into the sex life, if we didn't sleep together for a few days he would think i had gone off him. Although he ended it because i asked for committment he said i had been a wonderful girlfriend but he needed to be single again. He is 39 and never been married or lived with anyone. We remained friends and last week i told him i was over him completely and how would he fancy sex. After a few days he agreed and we slept together. I felt so gutted again to leave him afterwards as i truly believe we could sort things out. We always enjoyed the same things and never argued. Cannot understand his ending things if he said i was an amazing partner. I feel now after having sex with him twice since. i feel worse than ever but can't seem to stop. I love him so much and want him back.
2007-09-10 08:39:22 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unless you can deal with having sex with him and not being loved by him, stay away. The sooner the better. You don't want to get yourself caught up and hurt. I'm sure there are others who are willing to love you and be committed while enjoying your sex drive. You can have half of him, or all of someone else. Take your pick?
2007-09-10 08:45:07 · answer #1 · answered by Sandy B. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason it would be bad to keep sleeping with him is you will only be emotionally hurting yourself. It may feel good to be with him and if you could do that without being emotionally attached knowing it will end any time then that's one thing. But if you are having sex with him with the thought that he'll change his mind then you'd better stop. NEVER settle in a relationship. If a committment is important to you then you need to move on, he doesn't sound like he's committment oriented. If you like the arrangement and can live with it because you get along so great, then stay with it. But it doesn't sound like that's what you want, so I'd move on. There will be another guy out there who can give you what you want, with committment.
2007-09-10 08:46:05 · answer #2 · answered by just2letuknow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it's a bad idea, and here is why. He was willing to have sex with you without commitment, and you were willing to give it without commitment. He's been using you for sex, and now you're allowing him to use you for sex with not even a miniscule amount of commitment, in fact he already broke it off with you! You need to stay away from him and all romantic relationships until you understand why you don't respect yourself, and what is missing in you that would allow you to stay with a guy who uses you for sex, with no promise of committing to you. Sounds like you're afraid of being alone. Everyone wants someone to love and love them back, but until you're confident enough about who you are, you'll sell yourself short.
I would advise you to maybe go into counseling, or read to find out about healthy relationships. Also, find out who you are and what your purpose is. Find your interests, professionally and also personally. Volunteer. Develop your abilities. Then after a couple of years you'll be ready when the right person comes around.
2007-09-10 08:56:43 · answer #3 · answered by cowabunga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are confused, experiencing feelings of rejection, and you feel by having sex with him this will bring him back to you. I feel if you continue on this path you will only be teaching him that he can have you without a commitment and I do not feel this is what you want. It never is easy to go after what we want, but if a commitment is important to you then you have to know that this guy may never be ready or willing to give it to you. If you settle for less than what you want sooner or later you will learn to resent him for it and you will not be happy. Stop sleeping with him as a way to avoid the truth, and that is that he does not want to commit. I know know this hurts but even if you could change his mind, sleeping with him is not a way to do it for this is the very thing he is not willing to give up, having the benefits of a sexual relationship with you without the commitment. Ask more of yourself and show him you expect more than this. Best of luck to you.
2007-09-10 08:52:22 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You so totally know the answer to your own question sweetie...your killin your heart here! Of course he is going to have sex, when that stops you will realize he has moved on and that will start a whole new hurt. Sounds like he is non committment material, 39 never been married. My guess is never will be either. I know it hurts like hell but stop doing this to yourself. Having sex with him isn't going to win him back but moving on and ignoring him might.
2007-09-10 08:54:51 · answer #5 · answered by LilSunbeam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shakes head...if he isn't into commitment....let it go if you can't handle that. TRUST ME!!!! If you want commitment and he doesn't, he'll never change his mind for you or anyone.
And believe me, if the two of you aren't on the same page, it won't do anything but get worse and you are just hurting yourself. You probably can't see that and will end up blaming him and resenting him. Step back and take a look from the outside and save your breaking heart.
Oh and "partner" is code for sex buddy. So when he said amazing partner...he meant amazing sex buddy.
2007-09-10 08:49:59 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he could end it after 3 years just like that, he doesn't really love you. I would get closure tell him you are not going to sleep with him and you guys need to go your separate ways and try dating again or enjoy being single, go hang out with your girlfriends and live the single life. It sounds like he will never give you what you want and need. Hope this helps.
2007-09-10 08:46:16 · answer #7 · answered by Suzie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Knowing what you know, you also know that IF you decided to get back together with him, he STILL is not going to commit, and in the end, that IS what you want.
Move on. There has to be at least one other guy out of the seven BILLION people on this planet that can sexually satisfy you.
You want commitment, he will NEVER commit. Sex is sex with him...it doesn't have emotion, and it never will.
Do NOT become involved with him again. Consider this a moment of weakness and vow not to see him again.
2007-09-10 08:46:29 · answer #8 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's already made it clear to you that he DOES NOT want to be in a relationship with you, so why are you continuing to fool yourself??
Why are you still sleeping with a man who DOES NOT care about you??
Break it off with him completely. STOP HAVING SEX! Don't call or email or try to see him. Throw away his pictures. Get him totally out of your life. (I know easy to say, hard to do), but he is just using you for sex, and that's all you will ever get from him. Don't you deserve better than that?
2007-09-10 08:45:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's a horrible idea to just cut someone off without saying anything. Believe me, the same thing you're doing to him happened to me with my best friend of 10 years. It hurts more than anything. You need to clearly explain the situation to him. You don't have to meet but at least have the decency to give him closure.
2016-04-04 00:39:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋