When women get angry about their guys relentless gawking at other women, people say "what chance does he have with those women, anyway? What are you worried about? She's way too hot for him."
Don't they realize that's salt in an open wound? Why not just say, "yeah, she's hotter than you and he would like to bang her if she would give him the time of day. But she won't because she's too hot for him. You are not as good looking, so he is settling for you because you aren't as attractive as the women he really wants."?
2007-09-10 08:16:25 · 23 answers · asked by Lady in Red 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go ahead, let me have it.
2007-09-10 08:17:06 · update #1
I've actually had a significant other tell me, when I asked why he wanted me if he was so into the stripper type, "because I can't get women like that". It stuck with me.
2007-09-10 08:26:18 · update #2
Hello out there! Please note that the initial looking is not what's so offensive, it's the "he doesn't have a chance with her so you don't have to worry" comment.
2007-09-10 08:35:50 · update #3
I read the question you're referring to, and I agree that those who say "don't worry about it because he wouldn't have a chance with these women" miss the whole point of the question. I just don't think it matters whether or not he would "have a chance" with them or not - simply making comments that make your s.o. uncomfortable is disrespectful.
And yeah, what your guy told you is totally ridiculous - unless it was just a (very bad) joke.
2007-09-10 08:32:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of the above has anything to do with the REAL issue. Most of the time the problem is not the man's LOOKING, it's the WIFE'S low self-esteem. Granted, there are a few men out there who make their gawking so obvious it's an insult, but they are (thank GOD!) the minority. It doesn't matter if the woman being looked at is prettier than the wife or not. Women who are insecure about themselves can not stand to see their men look at ANYONE. Women, get ahold of yourselves! It's not the looking that is the threat. The threat is YOU. A man gets tired of constantly having to defend himself when he hasn't done anything wrong. He may decide it's not worth having to constantly reassure his partner, and look for someone a little more emotionally mature and confidant.
2007-09-10 15:32:54 · answer #2 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, so maybe initially if they had a chance they would date the hottest woman, just like most women would date the hottest men, but they know deep down that these women are nothing more than eye candy, and that there is usually not much else going on inside of one of these women. Some men do get the chance to go out with completely gorgeous women, and they say they get bored with them. Most men are geuinely looking for a girl who has enough depth and maturity for them to fall in love with. That's the difference between the girl they choose to spend time with, and the girl they like to j**k off over. I know which one I would rather be, but at the same time, it's nice if they find you completely irresistable too.
2007-09-10 15:33:08 · answer #3 · answered by pamperpooch39 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to let you have it because I agree with you. That is throwing salt in an open wound. The girl is obviously already insecure with him looking at other women (even though guy are gonna look regardless), and some people just sit there and say well she must be hotter than you, might as well move on.
2007-09-10 15:22:13 · answer #4 · answered by gorgeous 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, understand that men don't look at women because they are "better" than you. Men look at all women who are over a certain "looks threshold." That is, if a woman is minimally attractive - probably much less attractive than you - we will still look. So, if we look at another girl, it's not because we don't like you. It's just that we reflexively look at women.
However, in my opinion, we should be discreet enough to respect your feelings. If it upsets you that we look at other women, and we care for you, then we will want to take an extra effort to not make you upset.
So, if the guy you are with is shoving it in your face then it says something about his love and respect for you. If you tell him it upsets you, and he does nothing, then he is not being very nice and you have a decision to make.
2007-09-10 15:43:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are men. It is like we are programmed to look or "gawk." I'm sure you know that there are plenty of women who "gawk" at hunky men too. The truth is, men like women that do more than look good. One doesn't have a relationship with a body, but with a whole person. Sounds to me like you are feeling kind of low about something. Perhaps you need to take care of your own self esteem. Good luck.
2007-09-10 15:34:11 · answer #6 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not going to let you have it because men need to control themselves and show respect to the woman he has in his life. I hate when men do that to because the look in their eye is not just a glance its more like a look of lust and its rude and disgusting when your with a man and have to see that. They do it right in front of you and get so worked up about it they can't sit still in their seat. I think some men just have weak character and show no class when they act out like they are so deprived...and woman to woman here all women pick up on your man when hes doing it and think he is a jerk anyway.
2007-09-10 15:29:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man who would openly gawk at women is no gentleman. Everyone looks but there is a tactful way to glance without hurting the woman you are with.
2007-09-10 15:26:36 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you mean, and yes, it is not nice for people to say that...nor is it necessarily true.
It sounds like you don't believe in yourself (I say that becasue I feel the same way and i have terrible self esteem). It hurts when people say that. The way i move past it is to think about it as if the person just said the stupidest thing i ever heard. It's the only way I can move past it.
You need to talk to your guy and let him know how you feel. If he doesn't listen, then he doesn't respect you and you should move on. I know it sounds cold but i have been there.
2007-09-10 15:33:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its rude for a man to look at another woman in front of his gf or wife. When ever I have caught my boyfriends doing it, I give them a dose of their own medicine and see how he likes it when I start eyeing up a hot man with no shirt on or a really cute police officers. Men are babied in this country. I'm all about the tuff love. what's good for the goose is good for the gander. LoL.
2007-09-10 15:24:21 · answer #10 · answered by JillardG 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋